#evangelion: why we struggle to connect
this (moderately analytical) review will contain spoilers!

##introduction: what it means to be / feel alone
####it isn’t revolutionary to state that evangelion is a series about feeling alone. i say “feeling” rather than “being,” as i believe that’s an important distinction to make; most characters should have a relatively stable support system, given their circumstances, but fundamental and ever-present feelings of loneliness undercut that.
####each character, in their own respect, is searching for genuine connection, finds it, and gently disregards it. despite the fact that they’ve finally connected with someone, it was not in the way they originally wanted to.

##thematic expression
####characters' feelings of loneliness, among other feelings expressed throughout the series, are driven by two major factors: an inability and / or a refusal of the character to feel and express their emotions.

####the inability of characters to connect, acknowledge, feel, or communicate is exemplified by misato. she is generally unable to be genuine with anyone unless it is in a sexual scenario, hence why she kisses shinji before her death.

####the refusal of characters to connect, acknowledge, feel, or communicate is embodied by asuka. throughout nge, she refuses to connect with others as a self defense mechanism.

####the mediums these themes are expressed through - dreamlike and nightmarish monologues, flash cuts or extended cuts, and recurring imagery in eva’s art - are all impressive and hold enormous narrative value.

##case study: shinji ikari
####shinji ikari is the best example of pervasive loneliness and unexpressed feelings in evangelion, and not only because he is the main character. while shinji is the focus of this slide, numerous other characters in the series exhibit similar characteristics, as noted before.

####shinji’s inability and refusal to feel extends to his willingness and ability to connect with others, to acknowledge what others feel, etc.

####he attempts to meet his own needs as well as the needs of others throughout the series, and feels - or knows - that he was not able to. his relationships with others throughout the series reflect this, and not necessarily because others reject shinji. rather, shinji rejects himself. shinji’s relationships with other characters also point to crucial deficits in his communication skills.

##shinji and kaworu: self-determination theory
####in psychology, self-determination theory states that human beings have three basic needs: competence, autonomy, and relatedness. competence requires one to possess control and mastery of one’s own life and, to an extent, one’s environment. autonomy requires the maintenance of healthy levels of control. relatedness entails a sense of belonging with and connection to others.

####kaworu, serving as shinji’s foil, provides shinji with the chilling illusion of the fulfillment of these three needs: “you are extremely afraid of any kind of initial contact, aren't you? are you that afraid of other people?”

####on a surface level, kaworu encourages confidence in shinji; choosing to spend his time with kaworu briefly provided shinji with the illusion that his time was his alone, and finally, kaworu’s grandiose monologues were absolutely filled with existential and overly personal statements and questions. hence, the immediate and intense connection he and shinji shared.

####and as someone who had experienced parental and personal emotional neglect, shinji cherished kaworu’s words and existence, though not necessarily kaworu himself. each time shinji mentions kaworu later on, he always speaks of kaworu in relation to himself.

####it is for these reasons that kaworu’s perceived betrayal continuously torments shinji; he felt he had finally connected with someone, albeit a bit selfishly.

##interpersonal communication

####the most distinct feature of neon genesis evangelion, alongside the conflation of “inability” and “refusal” (to connect, to acknowledge, to feel, etc.) is the preeminent disconnection between interpersonal and intrapersonal communicative ability.

####shinji’s ability to communicate with others falls flat in more ways than one, but most interestingly, his actions seem to reflect his temperament much more effectively than his words. towards some, his actions reflect those of a child seeking approval. for example, shinji continuously seeks gendo’s approval, only to run when he does not receive it. he returns to pilot his eva only because he can not remain still while others are fighting.

####shinji also begins to act less considerately towards others, particularly later in nge and in end of evangelion, perhaps because he thought himself unable to understand and connect with others. this is also the reason he acts strangely around asuka; he felt unable to connect with her, so much as he longed to. this materializes in his strange behavior around her, from masturbation to strangulation.

##intrapersonal communication

####perhaps even more disabling than shinji’s unhealthy interpersonal communication skills are his intrapersonal communication skills; shinji ikari, in short, does not possess the ability to communicate with himself.

####the quote from kaworu two slides ago was unfinished. the entirety of it reads:

“you are extremely afraid of any kind of initial contact, aren't you? are you that afraid of other people? i know that by keeping others at a distance you avoid a betrayal of your trust; for while you may not be hurt that way, you mustn't forget that you must endure the loneliness. man cannot erase this sadness, because all men are fundamentally alone.”

####this is something shinji had consistently been unable to tell himself, and was perhaps one of the reasons his relationship with kaworu felt so intimate so quickly.

####shinji’s interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills alike negatively impact his ability to bond with others. in part, this could have been self-sabotage - he never thought he was worthy of tenderness - but even so, it was likely not intentional.

##intended reaction...?

####to assert that there is an intended reaction to evangelion would be akin to asserting that there is no life outside of earth; it is absolutely absurd. the only thing that i can say for sure is that evangelion does a remarkable job of evoking strong emotional responses from its audience; watching this series, if one even lightly relates to any of the characters, is cathartic, and not always in a digestible way.

####it is within this cathartic nature that evangelion finds its worth as a series; we, the audience, are meant to relate to the characters, and we, the audience, are meant to wish not to. the over-exaggeration of each characters’ trauma and distorted thought patterns emphasizes and clarifies the flaws in each of their ways. the entirely character-driven episodes 25 and 26 are extensive examples of this, and inconclusively culminate nge, bringing it to its emotional and existential peak.*

#####*when i say this, i mean the peak of nge itself; not including end of eva.

##conclusion

####there is infinitely more i could say about evangelion, and i am only now - three weeks after completing my first watch - beginning to solidify a few relatively basic convictions about the series. by no means do i intend to be dogmatic in posting this, and i am very open to and enthusiastic about hearing other interpretations! :D

####before writing this, i actively avoided watching or reading reviews or analyses of nge. i wanted to clarify my own thoughts and feelings on the series before viewing material that might alter these initial interpretations. i definitely wrote more than i thought i would be capable of, and i credit that entirely to eva’s exceptional writing and direction.

####and though i did not mention it earlier, i do believe that shinji eventually learns to care for himself and, by extension, others, during the last scene of end of eva. it comes at a great cost to him, and it is not peaceful as he hoped it might be, but it delivers what i believe to be the core message of evangelion.

####in observing shinji’s final development, there is a lingering feeling of hope - perhaps on the level of desperation - that we, ourselves, will not encounter the same difficulties and, if we do, that we will overcome them with more grace.