Goblin Slayer is a perfect one-shot idea. The first episode could be considered the exact representation of what a one-shot would have been.

Even then, it's not without flaws (torture-porn with sexual innuendos used to shock the viewer and make him believe the series is actually deep).

As always, since I don't believe it's possible to review a series without spoilers, I will share examples of what I am saying.

ART

The art of goblin slayer is pretty bad overall, with a few particularly hideous low-points. The pilot is easily the best one, which is a smart thing to do since it hooks the viewers in and lets them give the show a chance.

Unfortunately, everything falls apart from the second episode. The character designs are as generic as they get, with the sole exception being the iconic Goblin Slayer.

A few of them are barely fanserviceable, like the Sword Maiden and the childhood friend, while the others are lacking in details. The entire cast has a monotonous and generic feeling to it, which is extended to the entirety of the enemies (the few of them that there are, at least), too.

The problems don't stop here. The backgrounds are generic, if not outright bad, with no inspirations (even though it might seem like cheating, Mushoku Tensei established the high bar for aesthetic setting in a fantasy, and this show doesn't even come close to looking remotely as good).

The animation is terrible all around because of the amount of low-quality CGI models for both the enemies and Goblin Slayer himself. The contrast between 2D and 3D is grating on the eyes, especially with GS. We see him properly animated, and in the next scene, he turns in this low-fps 3D model that glaringly sticks out like a sore thumb.

The tightness of the budget was just too restrictive to animate most fights properly, too.

The directing ends up being poor, probably as a consequence of the low budget, which causes confusing fights. Lots of pan shots to cover expenses during the filler-y episodes, too.

Visual effects are generally horrible, given that most of the blood is rendered in a disgusting 3D jelly-looking red goo. Redo of Healer had a better rendition of blood, somehow.

SOUND

The OST is surprisingly good. Not only both the Opening and the Ending are captivating and in-tone with the show, but a few of the insert tracks are also on point, and I listened to them even after the show finished.

Sound effects are nothing to write home about as they do their fair job.

Voice acting is a bit generic and clichè most of the time, as the lines get delivered with this forced enthusiasm from the Priestess, that sassy tone from the Dwarf, the tsundere-y troubled voice from the High Helf, etc.

It's not bad, but it doesn't even feel like they are trying to do anything more than the bare minimum.

There is, however, one peculiarity: Goblin Slayer. It's pathetically obvious that they were trying to score for the silent hero protag, but he just looks (hideous CGI, terrible writing) and sounds like a socially inept and borderline autistic character. It doesn't sound cool, it just sounds cringe. And given the fact that he's the most important and iconic character in the series, it kind of ruins everything.

For this reason alone, I am almost tempted to suggest the viewers watch the English dub, where GS's voice actor sounds better and more pertinent.

STORY

There is no such thing as a story in Goblin Slayer. The entire premise of GS is that the author wanted to create a novel based on his D&D 4.5 sessions. He's not even subtle in hinting at it, given the number of references around dices, from start to finish.

The premise is interesting, but that's about it. A hero entirely fixated around killing low-level monsters because he has a personal vendetta against them, to the point of looking autistic. Given his aesthetic, it captivates the audience to, at least, give it a try.

Truthfully, Goblin Slayer's problem is that it doesn't really need a story because everything it has to say, it says during the first episode. There are no plot twists, GS's background is easy to imply from the very first episode (traumatized as a child), and the author doesn't care about it at all (the Demon King is defeated off-screen by 3 Mahou-Shoujo, pajama-wearer little girls).

The attempts at a "story" are utterly useless, uninteresting, and add nothing to the narrative, and sound as generic as humanly possible.
Even the characters don't agree with the grim setting. There are scenes where innocent women are viciously raped, followed by High Elf ordering GS that she wants to take him on an adventure. I am all for comic relief in a crude setting, but that's not how you do it. And if they are not tonally deaf, some scenes are utterly pathetic in their boredness.

World-building is the worst offender of them all, though. It's also kind of pathetic how most reviewers don't even point these giant plot holes and contrivances out, but I digress.

There are serious, gigantic flaws in the way the world is conceived.

First of all, we are shown a world with no actual governments that can take care of their citizens. Not once do we see guards handling attacks even when there are threats to the cities (episode 8, 12). The security of the world is handled by mercenaries who get their missions from private enterprises (the guilds). Does anyone understand how dumb this sounds? It's all in the greedy hands of random patrons!

Not only that, but the low-level goblins that should mostly be a nuisance suffer from a whiplash of exposition.
The writer tells us that goblins are an annoyance, low-level threat that should be handled by the lowest-level adventurers, but the anime shows us constantly that goblins are, in fact, a serious threat that should not be underestimated.

First of all, they keep killing people left and right and creating nests right outside of cities, or under them, in the sewers. We are told they have an insane, exponential ratio of reproduction (episode 1, Goblin Slayer's speech).

Second of all, they are insanely dangerous to porcelain-level adventurers at the very least. Why is that a thing? What's the point of a level system if anyone can take any quest anyway? And what's with that chick over the counter that wants to establish a training program to stop having adventurers killed? You dumb idiot, perhaps stop giving them those quests! And how are the farmers even producing anything if they are constantly attacked by the goblins without anyone batting an eye? It makes absolutely zero sense whatsoever.

One might argue that goblins are already the lowest level monster there are, but that's only told to us, whereas we are shown that it's clearly not the case and dozens of people are slaughtered viciously without a pause. Not only this, but the sheer number of goblins is perfectly capable of overwhelming an entire army without proper preparation (episodes 11 and 12).

Third of all, there are multiple levels of goblins! Both the shaman and giant ones are incredibly stronger than the lower ones, and there are even domesticated wolves and goblin kings which are capable of using advanced strategies.

Take the situation in the Venice-like city. The entire place is infested with goblins and no one does anything, not even the guards. And don't give me that bullshit "my PTDS is making me unable to act, and I don't want adventurers to die (which further proves the point that goblins are strong monsters. Meanwhile, her Aligator familiar is not used to kill the goblins for some reason? Stupid plot is stupid)".

Even during the final episodes, the goblins are planning on throwing a large-scale attack on the main city. These creatures are far from being weak because the writer is incapable of creating a valid justification for having Goblin Slayer on one hand and weak creatures on the other. It removes tension from the battle if they are just easily farmable, and if they aren't, then the world should reflect that.

The pacing is also all over the place, there are surprisingly few fights overall, a bunch of episodes are reduced to deal with god-awful character development, for some reason. There are also occasional asspulls coming out of nowhere, which are justified as unironical dice intervention ala d&d 4.5 (episode 7, GS resuscitates and kills all the enemies with the power of friendship and hatred).

Also, the last battle makes no sense. The Goblin King is smart enough to understand human language. He saw all the mercenaries grouping on GS's farm. Why the fuck did it continue with the attack? By retreating and choosing a better window he would have probably won the stalling war for the farm. Not only that, but he decided to attack with his weakest troops first. The goblin giants would have been way better as vanguard soldiers. This is a textbook case of plot-induced stupidity.

There's also a broken teleportation scroll that's capable of one-shotting any enemy because it teleports high-pressure water. I am not going to argue against it that much, given that it was properly foreshadowed and used only once, but what was the point of GS saying "I am not telling, in case the enemies capture you and you reveal its power". Dude, are you dense? The goblins are barely smart enough to throw shit and stones at you and you are going inside a goblin nest.
If your allies end up being captured, the chance that they are tortured and asked specific questions about magic trump cards is far outweighed by the fact that perhaps, your allies could use said card if you end up being incapacitated. Extremely stupid reasoning, which only exists to excuse the shock effect.

CHARACTERS

Probably the weakest part of the show.

Let's start with the enemies. As a consequence of what I just said, the goblins are theoretically both low-level, easily killable monsters and at the same time actual challenges for the protagonist and his friends.

Goblins as a whole are uninteresting, bland, cardboard cutouts characters. They hate those with words and have nothing good going for them. They are stereotypical malevolent beings.

Even then, there is this retarded exchange of dialogue between Priestess and GS where the first one asks if GS needs to kill the little goblins. What kind of question is that? Introducing moral questions is fine and all, but they have to make sense in the first place. We are clearly shown and told repeatedly that goblins are nothing but disgusting raping monsters. Stop treating the viewers & readers like mongoloids.

Goblins are overall generic and terrible enemies. They offer no design ideas, no new fighting quirks, and are supposed to be evil because they are evil. What a snorefest.

There's also the demon king and their secret sect, but the writer doesn't know how to deal with a big overarching story, so it just goes for satirical subversion (spoiler: it doesn't work and looks goofy).

One humongous problem is that... characters don't have names. It might sound stupid at first, but how can you grow attached to people you don't even know? They are entirely defined by the characteristics and archetypes that denote their d&d classes. That's it. Even their personality is dull and void of any kind of novelty. It gets even worse once you realize this is the power fantasy of someone who played d&d. Do you know what's the first thing you do when creating a character through the sheet? Writing down its name.

There's also the magic trio composed of the lizardman, the dwarf, and the high elf. They come to ask Goblin Slayer for help against a goblin's nest, in their quest to stop the Demon King Armies, as ambassadors of their respective reigns. But as we already said, the Demon King is pitifully killed off-screen, and after they take care of the goblin nest they somehow decide to remain with GS and form a party with him.

Why? They had a way more important job at hand. What about the rest of the demon armies? Why did their reigns not call them back after their quest was completed? It's never explained. And this hurts character backgrounds. It's as if the writer is moving these cardboard pawns on his chessboard. It doesn't feel organic, but artificial.

The Sword Maiden arc is cringy and has quite a bit of sexual references thrown around. One of the strongest gold adventurers has PTSD vs goblins, to the point that she'd rather fuck the entire city than tell the guards what is happening downstairs, in the sewers. And don't give me the "oh, but the sect might understand that's her weak point and use it against her" excuse. People are fucking dying! Women are vanishing left and right, the number of goblins is increasing exponentially!

Just tell the guards to go kill them all until it's too late. The dark sect will never understand what is happening anyway. Everyone considers goblins to be one of the weakest monsters, the first thing they'd think is that the Sword Maiden just doesn't deal with such petty squabble.

And why is there a pseudo-resurrection ritual that makes recently-dead people come back to life by having a virgin rub herself against your body? I wish I was exaggerating, lol.

There are also blatant lies coming from the characters, too. Goblin Slayer goes to the guild to get assistance for what is a large-scale attack prepared against the city. For some reason, he even has to offer everything he owns. For some reason, the mercenaries initially ask for gold and change their opinion only once the guild girl offers a broken contract to help her unrequited love, Goblin Slayer (wonderful world-building). And during the last lines of the last episode, Priestess tells Goblin Slayer how everyone wanted to help him from the beginning.

There is no way people are gobbling up this shit with a straight face, is there?

They wouldn't have pissed on Goblin Slayer if he were on fire moments before getting a guild mission, without even considering the fact that the Goblin King would have massacred the town, a few days down the line.

There is also Goblin Slayer. Truthfully, there's not much to say about him. As I already stated, the writer is going for the silent hero protagonist with a tragic past, but his lines are cringe and outright poorly written (50% of them are "yeah"), and his V.A. is awful at his job. Did his background make sense? Yeah, but that's nothing to write home about. It was predictable from the very beginning and does not add depth to the character.

It gives him a solid motivation, but it stenches clichè. It again proves my point that Goblin Slayer would have worked better as a one-shot.

Because of his "unique personality", he attracts a bunch of girls. Priestess, the Childhood Friend, Guild Girl, High Elf, even Sword Maiden...
Another cliché off the list, I guess.
There's barely enough content to criticize these characters given how restricted to their own archetypes they are.

Also, there are a few citation tertiary characters, such as Guts and Lancer. Yeah, that's about it. If anyone thinks this show is better because of them, please stop.

CONCLUSIONS, AND BONUSES.

In the end, Goblin Slayer is a victim of the curse most writers suffer from. Interesting idea and premise, dreadful execution.

There's also something to be said about shock factors and mature content as a whole. I always subscribed to the notion that mature content doesn't imply maturity of the plot, and Goblin Slayer is a perfect example of this. From the first episode, the anime doesn't spare excruciatingly detailed rape scenes, copious amounts of violence coming from monodimensional, drooling, despicable green monsters.

It almost feels like Goblin Slayer's idea got replaced by the copious amount of excused sexual rape scenes. Did they trigger me? Hell no. Were they needed? Not even one bit.

Does that make the story more mature? If we consider the age classification, yeah. Otherwise, it's just artificial and thus phony. One key aspect of writers is fineness, violence all over my face to make me empathize with the poor girls getting raped left and right is not treating me with respect, and that doesn't allow me to respect this anime as a whole. A bit off track, but I truly believe the damage Gen Urobutcher did to modern anime is bottomless. He showered the watchers and readers with dark and grim stories, forcing a positive correlation between depth maturity and violence. But there is no such case.

TL;DR A Generic Self-Insert Empowerment Fantasy that tries to pass as a dark and mature story forgetting the importance of good characters and lacking in finesse.

And now, for some executed scoring

VERDICT: 34