This review will be also somewhat of a story and change in opinion. I first watched Violet Evergarden a long time ago. At least it felt that way. Besides enjoying it, I did shamelessly get bored at certain parts and went through some scenes faster than I should have. I was barely beginning to do reviews, and my videos were at their worst production quality at the time. Regardless, it was a series that made me pick up my phone and just do something because it made me feel passionate enough to want to talk about it, and use whatever outlet I could to express how I felt about it. I had to make something out of nothing. I knew even less what I was doing though it was an honest attempt at least. Maybe it was a desire to leave something behind; evidence that I used to be.

Eventually, I forgot about Violet Evergarden and it was replaced on my favorites list. After going through the majority of what's on my favorites list now, nearly a year and a half after watching it for the first time, there was still something I couldn't forget that kept coming back to me. It's the emotions that this series made me feel. Even though I felt anime like To Your Eternity and Angel Beats! were something I just moved on from almost instantly despite that they are supposed to invoke emotions out of me, there was something special about the way Violet Evergarden made me feel that I could never really forget and that kept coming back to me.

As a result, I wanted to review it this week since I never properly did it, but couldn't remember it well enough. This obviously meant a re-watch, which can be tough for me because of my schedule. Though I try to plan what I work on, sometimes inspiration hits and takes priority. As a result, I paused everything and re-watched Violet Evergarden. This time, I was completely engaged with every episode and every moment. The way I look at anime changed a lot from back then. I took attention to as many little details as I could. What were the staff trying to communicate here to the audience? I picked up all the little details as Violet Evergarden slowly began to rebuild the jigsaw puzzle of her emotions. I saw things I didn't see before, and enjoyed the re-watched significantly more. It's odd that I already know what happens for the most part, and yet the experience was better than the first. Regardless, I still am not a supporter of being spoiled. Some don't care. I think that watching something not knowing and knowing are two different experiences. You can lose a certain type of experience in watching if you already know what happens.

All the familiarities came back to be. A scared child gets taken in by a soldier, is taught, and given a purpose in life. Because of the realities of war, the two end up getting separated into obscurity by an explosion. What was left right before it were the words "I love you." Perplexed, Violet couldn't understand at the time what the Major meant by that. The words went through her as all she was taught before the Major were how to kill. She was a broken child to the extent she was reduced to an animal. After it all, she struggled to find a place in life and to try and understand what those words meant. This led to her becoming a doll in a career that she hopes will help her understand. Even as she develops as a character, that animal like state comes back to her at times.

This would be a journey that would restore her colors bit by bit as she went. As a result of this interesting career choice, she becomes a witness to human unfortune. As she feels the pain of the unfortunate people she meets, she begins to somewhat understand. Feeling pain is to understand; the most purest and sincere of ways.

Episode 10 was even more crushing for me than the first time I watched it. That's because this time I could relate to it. I was in a situation where someone I loved was sick, and no one would help her because the pandemic had the hospitals stalled. For months I watched her slowly dying in front of me and be reduced to a sickly skinny person. I couldn't look at her, and when I did look at her eyes, they were sunk into her skin because she had lost so much weight. It horrified me so much it still terrorizes me today as a memory from the lowest point of my life. It is one thing for someone to die, because at least then you can grieve and try to move on. But when you have to watch them slowly dying over a period of months, and no one wants to help you and denies you necessary surgery for months on end, you're stuck. It was torture and I couldn't focus on anything. I felt angry, yet helpless. Still, this episode is precious to me because it ends in such a way that love defies death.

I am not one to fall for anime that exploits your emotions and that cheaply makes you cry to make you think that it is better than it is. I did cry several times during this series, and I tried to understand why. I can't deny that some of the episodes in this series are some of the most beautiful and incredible depictions of people showing love for another. There is a sincerity and gracefulness to the characters. It frustrates me how deplorable and degenerate people are becoming today. I thought, "why can't we be more like this?"

Violet Evergarden finally made me realize more about how I have been thinking about objectivity in anime. I don't think it's possible for an anime to be good or bad if it can least try to be decent on a technical level; there are only interpretations. Watch Mobile Suit Gundam Twilight Axis if you want to see what I mean that something can be absolutely terrible.

I know there are people who are passionate about this series. People who also cried and who love it still to this day. People who learned from it and who were made better people by it's lessons. Who am I, if I didn't enjoy this, to tell them that they can't enjoy it and that it is trash? How could I dare to try to be objective and ridicule someone over something they are sincerely passionate about? There are infinite amounts of tastes, and not a single one will ever be the definitive one, including mine. But the point isn't to make people think like me. All people can do is come together over others who are similar to them. And yet we are all so divided. For those who say this is boring melodrama, I would advise you to think more about that opinion. It's fine for people to enjoy well meaning anime that you don't. It's fine for people to not enjoy what you do. At least try understand what Violet Evergarden tried to say.

Watching Violet Evergaden develop was a journey. It is in all the little details. From quick realizations and expressions, hearing meaning behind words she didn't know, and watching different types of emotional pain, she begins to somewhat understand to the point she goes completely against her former self. All this because she wants to understand "I love you," and to see the Major again.

As an extreme compliment to these developments is the soundtrack. It's a gorgeous soundtrack I still listen to to this day. Each song you could say has a meaningful value behind it towards something that happens in the series. My favorite song is "Always Watching Over You," and I was flooded with emotions instantly when I heard it again because I suddenly remembered what it meant.

Sure, the action in this can look a bit ridiculous, and yet everything has it's flaws. Anime can be like people; you have to accept their flaws. Sure, there are some practices and customs during this time period that aren't acceptable now. Just because I enjoyed Violet Evergarden doesn't mean I accept them. If you want your anime to 100 percent not be "problematic" you might as well just stop watching it. Societies always have flaws, and anime will depict them. That doesn't mean you have to accept them.

Nothing is perfect. What then, is the purpose of a 100 out of 100 score? I don't believe in that type of scoring system. Violet Evergarden doesn't have to be perfect. It made me feel in such a way that it is significant. It teaches life lessons that are valuable. It shows you well meaning characters and incredible growth. It presents itself as an honest series with music that compliments alongside some of the most elegant animation I've ever seen.

I am glad I re-watched this. I am finally able to put out the emotions I wasn't able to write down back when I first watched it. I can let them go now. And yet people grow. Maybe one day I will change my mind about Violet Evergarden. At least what matters right now is how this version of me felt about it.