Spoilers ahead, 4head.

I'ma be real witchu: when I first watched The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya anime series some two years ago, I hated it. I thought the first season was mediocre, and I thought the second season was downright horrible. I disliked it so much that I not only considered it to be the worst anime I'd seen up to that point, but also didn't even bother watching Disappearance, largely lauded as the best entry in the series in both its movie and novel form.

But--- time moved on. While when I first watched Haruhi I hated it, the series aged pretty well in my memory, so much so that I actually looked back on my time watching it fondly. The characters in particular aged really well in my memory, so much so that, while I disliked all of them except Kyon while I was watching the series, I grew to like them literal years after I had watched the series.

Recently I've been reading manga and light novels, and every time I went to my bookstore of choice, the Haruhi series was always there teasing me from the shelves, waiting for me to give it another shot. So, I decided, "Why not?", and bought the first light novel.

That leads me to right now. I've just finished the first light novel and am currently writing this review. I now also own the first four light novels: Melancholy, Sigh, Boredom, and Disappearance. Needless to say, since I'm spending money on these books, I've really enjoyed what I've read so far. My intention is to review every single Haruhi light novel that I buy, right after I read them. I would say "every single Haruhi light novel" with no strings attached, but I don't wanna promise that, since if the series ever gets too boring to continue, I don't want to spend money on books I don't want to read. But at least for the foreseeable future, I'm gonna review every single Haruhi light novel.

Mind you, these reviews will be very casual. I don't wanna stress over trying to make these things perfect or even good. So you'll have to put up with some really crummy, unpolished writing. But if you like how I go about reviewing things regardless, then I welcome you to the ride!

If I had to describe the first Haruhi light novel in brief, I'd say that it's a book about continuously decieving the reader into misinterpreting its true nature. This is to say that you cannot possibly understand what Haruhi is about after reading the first chapter. In fact, the series' TRUE true colors only really get revealed during the climax.

The series starts off as something of a typical slice of life featuring our protagonist Kyon. Kyon is a jaded, cynical, sarcastic highschool boy, who finds the world boring, and has resigned himself to living an ordinary life with no excitement. However, his life becomes quite exciting when he ends up befriending a highschool girl named Haruhi.

Haruhi is a bombastic, selfish, arrogant girl who finds the world boring, but unlike Kyon, she's not content to live an ordinary life. Her class introduction goes roughly as such: "If any aliens, time travelers, or espers are in this room, please contact me!". She's obsessed with things that are out of the ordinary, and actively hunts for the supernatural.

Haruhi ends up dragging Kyon along into joining her in the creation of a club: the SOS Brigade. The club is dedicated to seeking out the supernatural, and it ends up totaling five members: Kyon, Haruhi, Nagato, Asahina, and Itsuki. Each member of the club has an eccentric personality, and together they end up getting into tons of comedic antics, which Kyon always witnesses and comments on with a sarcastic comment and a sigh.

However, the idea that Haruhi is a slice of life is simply a veneer--- a trick. For you see, it ends up being revealed that Haruhi got her wish. Yuki Nagato is an alien. Mikuru Asahina is a time traveler. Itsuki Koizumi is an esper. All of a sudden, what started as a mostly normal slice of life ends up dripping with the supernatural. But that isn't the only major plot twist this book has in store.

Haruhi is god.

These three words comprise perhaps one of the most infamous plot twists in anime. At this point everyone on the internet basically knows this about Haruhi, but surprisingly, when I saw the anime some two years ago, I hadn't been spoiled yet, and this completely shocked me the first time I saw the show. Even now reading the light novel, I really dig this twist. While the idea of all the characters being supernatural tropes is fun, what really completes the package and makes this series so damn wacky is the addition that Haruhi is god. It's so insane and ridiculous, and completely gripping.

Specifically, Haruhi is a god who is unaware of her status as god, and is therein unaware of her influence on the world. Moreover, the characters can't tell her she's god, for if she becomes aware of her powers, she can simply remake the world at her whim. Even more-over, the other characters can't tell Haruhi that they're alines, time travelers, or espers, for if they told her that it would change the very fabric of the universe.

My favorite part of this twist is when it's revealed that Haruhi created the world three years ago. Everyone's memories of before then are false, history itself is false, it's completely mind shattering and really interesting to think about.

But we're STILL not at the core of what Haruhi is. The story of the novel thus far basically goes like this: we get introduced to all of the characters in a slice of life setting while wacky antics transpire, then each character reveals verbally who they truly are. Then, each character individually proves that they are who they say they are with their own side plot. Nagato ends up fighting against someone with alien powers, Mikuru's future self appears and prophesizes the book's ending, and Itsuki takes Kyon to a pocket dimensions and proceeds to slay a giant glowing blue manifestation of Haruhi's frustrations. Throughout the latter half of the book though, it becomes increasingly apparent that Haruhi is beginning to fall in love with Kyon, shown via her jealousy towards the other girls whenever Kyon shows attraction towards them.

This leads to the finale of the book, wherein Haruhi inadvertently nearly causes the end of the world due to her jealousy and romantic frustrations, and Kyon has to resolve this conflict by kissing Haruhi. Kissing the girl at the end of the book is cliched, but this is the kind of book that's aware of that fact. The side characters and Kyon himself make fun of the book's own ending by either directly calling it cliched, or in Asahina and Nagato's case, prophesizing the book's ending by referencing other pieces of fiction with the same ending, basically pointing out the trope. It's kinda hilarious.

But this is where all the deception is finally put to rest, and it becomes as clear as day what the nature of the first Haruhi novel is: an honest to god love story. If you peel back the layers of light novel wackiness, what you're left with is a boy meets girl scenario, wherein the girl eventually falls in love with the boy, and where the conflict involves the boy finally admitting that he has some level of attraction towards the girl, even if that attraction isn't romantic just yet. And as a love story, Haruhi certainly isn't the worst you can get, and when you factor in all the light novel weirdness, it becomes a truly fascinating read.

One of my favorite parts of the Haruhi light novel is how the series goes about revealing all of its various plot twists. Take for example, the reveal that Yuki Nagato is an alien. Up to this point, the series has been a completely normal slice of life, with only allusions and a few pieces of foreshadowing to the idea that the series will eventually include the supernatural. So, the way Yuki Nagato is revealed to be an alien is when she takes Kyon to her apartment and then... proceeds to speak absolute esoteric nonsense. If you thought Monogatari's dialogue was hard to understand, just wait til you read this.

"Initially born as data congregating with other data and becoming sentient. Evolved by gathering data. Possesses no tangible mass, exists only as data, and is impossible to observe through any form of optical measures-" YUKI NAGATO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING???

Being completely honest here though, this scene is complete and utter genius. First of all, it's just goddamn hilarious. It's the most convoluted and difficult to comprehend piece of expositon possible, so much so that it barely even qualifies as expositon. Nagato is incredibly verbose, but in the end communicates barely anything at all. Kyon is equally as confused as the reader too, just going like "wtf did you even say". What's even funnier is how it just DOESN'T END. Seriously, Nagato goes on for like two whole pages just waxing nonsensical about data swirling in a vortex in space or something like that and it's so incomprehensible and it just never seems to end. All of this juxtaposed against Nagato's dry, straight-faced delivery, and my sides were SHATTERED during this entire scene from how hard I was laughing. This is what dumb fun looks like.

Secondly, it's a reveal that leaves far more questions than answers due to the way it's communicated, which adds to the intrigue tenfold. The series then takes advantage of that intrigue by leaving all these questions unanswered for I think about ten to fifteen pages, where the series just kinda resumes being its usual self, with that mystery swirling in the background, buoying the reader's engagement throughout. It's only until Asahina explains (in actual human language) that she's a time traveler that things actually begin to make sense.

So then Itsuki tells Kyon that he has a secret to tell him, and at this point the viewer knows exactly what's coming. We know that Itsuki is an esper based on Haruhi's class introduction, and Kyon himself even pre empts the twist. But the writer also knows this. So, the twist is made extra spicey when Itsuki tells Kyon that Haruhi is god--- a shocking and completely unexpected revelation that appears right as the reader begins to think they know exactly what the series has in store in them.

What I'm trying to get at here is that the Haruhi light novels are perfect at delivering these twists in ways that are continuously interesting. Things are kept mysterious when they need to be, things are unexpected and jarring when they need to be, and questions are answered in a timely fashion that makes sure that the mysterious boxes never get forgotten about throughout the course of the plot.

When I first watched The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya all those years ago, my biggest problem with it was that I didn't like any of the characters (except Kyon). I disliked Nagato, I thought Itsuki was boring as shit, I thought Asahina was dull and generic, and I fucking hated Haruhi. Have my opinions on the characters changed?

YES. A LOT.

Well, I'll start by saying that Koizumi is still a little boring to me. His thing is basically that he's always smiling, but that said smile is always fake, and he's always hiding his true intentions. But since we aren't yet privy to his true intentions, or really have any reason to suspect he's a sinister person other than the fact he's always mysteriously smiling, he's just kinda there. He's not as quirky or interesting as the other characters, his dialogue in particular is the least charming of everyone's--- he's not a bad character but he's certainly the weak link of the cast.

Haruhi is a bitch.

No wait, that's not right.

Haruhi is a menace to society who should be locked up to ensure public safety.

There we go, got it right that time.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that Haruhi is evil. No really, she's evil. In most series she'd probably be the outright villain who the protagonists are opposing. I mean, I can't describe her actions as anything but evil. Haruhi's worst moment is when she needs to find a computer to deck the SOS club room out with, so she goes up to the computer club and asks to have one. When she gets a no, she decides that she's gonna steal it. How? Why of course, by bringing out Asahina, forcing the computer club president to grope her via grabbing his hand and shoving it towards her tit, having Kyon take a picture of it, and then using said picture as blackmail, with Haruhi threatening to release the image if they don't give her a computer. When the rest of the computer club say they'll tell the truth about what happened and support their president, Haruhi says she'll lie about the club further by claiming they GANGRAPED HER and telling everyone that the computer club is lying in order to protect their reputation. Yeah, I don't know what to call that other than evil.

Other than that, Haruhi continually sexually harasses and gropes Asahina, to the point where Asahina begins to genuinely fear even being near Haruhi. Haruhi forcibly undresses her multiple times throughout the book, and touches her when she's clearly uncomfortable in places that make her clearly uncomfortable. She MULTIPLE TIMES throughout the book reduces Asahina to tears. I wouldn't be surprised if Haruhi's treatment of Asahina ends up traumatizing her in the end, if she isn't already.

And on top of that, Haruhi's just a generally unpleasant person. She's self-centered, cunty, and overall the shining image of what you ought not to be as a person. In all honesty, the girl belongs in prison.

I originally hated Haruhi not only for these reasons, but because I saw Haruhi being god as the series vindicating her selfishness and self-centered attitude. So, do I still hate Haruhi?

Yes and No. While the computer club scene still fucking sent me just as hard as when I originally saw it in the anime, and even though much of Haruhi's antics are immoral and uncomfortable, I actually found some of what she did to be entertaining. Haruhi grabbing Kyon's hand and dragging him through the halls will never not be entertaining to me, and her abrasive personality actually works pretty well for comedy. I got over the Asahina dress-up scenes pretty quickly as an off-color gag, though every attempt Haruhi made on her cooch had me like "I hope you burn in the fires of hell for all eternity for what you're doing to this poor girl". But what really made Haruhi tolerable to me was Kyon's response to her. He treats her with a grimly cynical and disapproving attitude, and finds what she does just as disgusting as the reader. It's these reactions that are the entertainment value of Haruhi's scenes, and they're only possible because Haruhi is the way she is, though I still do wish it was toned down a little.

Speaking of Kyon, Haruhi's antics are also somewhat tolerable because they actually further his characterization. One of Kyon's big flaws as a person is that he's weak-willed. He goes along with everything Haruhi does because he doesn't have a spine, and it gets him involved in more and more sketchy situations, such as contributing to the use of blackmail.

But aside from that, what really made me come around on Haruhi is that she's just a fascinating character in a lot of ways, with a decent bit of depth. Her finding the world boring, her reasons why, the things that make her angry and the things that don't, her general angry attitude and ugly facial expressions, her attraction towards Kyon, her bizarre tendencies, her love of the supernatural, and of course, her position as LITERALLY GOD, all serve to make her an interesting character to read about. While she's not an endearing character by any stretch, and is absolutely a morally reprehensible person, she's interesting, and it was fun to involve myself in her story.

Asahina and Nagato are trope characters, with Asahina being the demure girly girl, and Nagato being the straight-laced emotionless deadpan one. But what makes these two characters interesting in the end is that they go so damn far into their tropes. Asahina is the MOST demure girly girl ya dun ever seen, Nagato is so emotionless so as to come off as a robot, barely responding to anything. In essence--- these characters are so tropey that they paradoxically end up not feeling generic. I especially love Yuki Nagato. I used to not really like deadpan characters, but as time goes on I've ended up liking more and more of them, and Yuki Nagato is the quintessential deadpan character. She's so straightforward and robotic that she ends up being adorable, it's like some sort of gap moe I swear. When Nagato said she wanted to go with Kyon to the library again my heart melted. If you asked me to date anyone in these books it'd be Yuki Nagato, and I don't know why Kyon seems more attracted to Asahina. Bro, Nagato is WAY BETTER.

But my wishing Nagato was real aside--- the final major character is Kyon. His mockingly cynical comments about every situation the characters find themselves in are always hilarious, and his narration throughout was a treat to read. He's immediately endearing, and with the little bits of depth the narrative ends up having for him, he ends being being really interesting by the end. A great protagonist, and would be my favorite character if I didn't want to date Nagato. He also helps lighten up the mood throughout most of the scenes. A lot of the side characters treat themselves completely seriously when it comes to their position as time travelers and espers, and Kyon is always making fun of them in his head about how their seriousness is actually kinda funny to hear about as an ordinary human.

The prose in this book is probably my favorite thing about it. As I said earlier, I've been getting into light novels lately, but to be specific, the novels I got into were Nisio Isin's early stuff, i.e. Katanagatari and Bakemonogatari. And the biggest problem I have with both those series is that the narration and prose are comically long winded. Katanagatari has this habit of spending pages on end communicating barely anything at all, and Bakemonogatari has this habit of communicating things in a generally timely manner, while also communicating too much, to the point where it feels excessive and a little dull. Nisio Isin's prose has a captivating style, I certainly agree with the masses on that point, but it's just too much, and it really feels like an edior needed to go in there and trim it down.

Haruhi didn't have any of these issues. Every piece of prose in this book communicates just the right amount of information--- not so much that it gets dull, but not so little that it doesn't properly flesh out the scene. Furthermore, Kyon's narration is just plain fun to read, so even when he is monologuing for long stretches of time, it never gets even slightly dull or monotonous. For this reason, I really like the prose of Haruhi for just being plain efficient and fun.

The prose does have a lot of odd metaphors in it though. It's kind of a stylistic thing, and it's a little weird to read at times, but I didn't dislike it.

There are also just some absolute GEMS of prose in here, like I'm talking gems on the level of "two years worth of semen" from SAO. Stuff like "Haruhi looked at the two of us like she just caught her dad molesting someone" like what the actual fuck lmfao. I can't say I found all of it tasteful, but I also won't pretend like I wasn't laughing my ass off whenever I got to parts like this.

To put a bow on this whole review, I think I want to delve a little into the themes Haruhi is trying to tackle. Believe it or not, while Haruhi is primarily just a wacky light novel meant to play with tropes, there is an actual message here. Kyon and Haruhi, like I said at the beginning of this review, are two people who find the world boring. And by the end of the story, Kyon has found that he's actually begun to enjoy the world and enjoy life. His time at the SOS club, and witnessing the various wacky characters and antics within it, has caused him to enjoy himself. It's here that I must clarify that Kyon doesn't start enjoying life because of the supernatural. If anything, he seems more put off by the supernatural than drawn to it. It's the people he's now friends with, and the stupid things they do together, that have really caused him to enjoy life.

During the finale, when Kyon realizes that the world is about to end, he gives Haruhi a speech about how there's stuff to value in the world--- that there doesn't need to be crazy supernatural stuff happening all the time for you to have fun. Essentially, he's trying to get Haruhi to catch up to his level of enjoying the world. And of course, the world is saved when Haruhi recieves that kiss.

The message of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is that the world is an interesting place because people are interesting. The world is fun because people are fun. Just because our ordinary lives are occasionally rote and mundane, that doesn't mean you can't have fun, and the best way to have fun is by learning about the wacky people around you. After all, everyone's weird when you get down to it, and learning about that weirdness is fun. That's why Kyon finds fun in the world by becoming a member of the SOS club, and seeing the weirdness of his classmates firsthand. That's why Haruhi only spares the world after being kissed by Kyon, i.e. recieving fun from him, another person. What an amazing message lmao, "life is fun because you can get kissed by boys". But on a more serious note, it's a fine message, and one that was certainly fascinating to read about.

Overall, I really enjoyed The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I love its weirdness, I love its message, I (for the most part) love its characters, and I can't wait to get into the next volume. I hope you'll have me for the next review as well~

~~Crunchybagels // Evan