God, this movie.

I came across this movie when I was scrolling through Tiktok, where it was super hyped and made to be the next Big Anime Movie™. The one audio clip that was all over my FYP was when the English VA said the "I can finally sing again?" phrase and sang the thing, both done with so much emotion that that phrase was stuck in my head for an annoying amount of time. So the voice acting was great, the animation in the poster seemed great, the plot was meh, but I was excited! I was hyped! I could not wait! ...I should have waited! To quote my mother who watched this movie with me, "What a big waste of time." All this movie turned out to be was a huge let down and a complete cringefest, filled with irritating moments where I was so tempted to turn off my computer and go take a long nap. It was a dizzying experience with confusing plot and pacing that was simultaneously fast and slow. Unfortunately, I made it through so I will make this everyone's problem.

Just a disclaimer, I am not in any way, shape, or form a film critic. I just have many, MANY thoughts about this movie and I thought I should share them before I pop.

For a quick recap, let me run through the main plot of the movie, in my own words.

This story starts with this girl, Suzu, who was super into songwriting as a child. She had a nice family and all, until there was a flood of some sort and mumsies died rescuing some child. Suzu got really depressed and couldn’t sing after that, until a thing called “U” was invented by “The Voices”. “U” is an online VR thingy, where people get their biometrics connected to an avatar and apparently can exist online and “start anew”. Suzu goes online and realises that oh wow, she can sing again, way to go, her! She becomes famous and has a concert at some sphere shaped theatre. The concert is interrupted by some criminal (because apparently there are criminals in the weird VR place) being chased by some cops (because apparently the walmart version of the Justice League exists in the weird VR place) led by some bozo who has a superiority complex and gets highs off “arresting” people in the weird VR place with his ??? (because apparently he has some weird laser beam that can “unveil” people, i.e. reveal your true identity to everyone in the weird VR place really how is this legal). Suzu's IRL best friend attempts to help her find the Beast’s IRL identity because screw this stranger’s privacy and the morality and legality of this situation, we need to know who this weird online person is! Shit happens, Suzu, as Belle, finds the castle where Beast, the criminal, is hiding and attempts to befriend him, completely disregarding everything anyone has ever said about stranger danger. More stuff happens, the cops prove that VR imitates life, and abuse more of their power so they can find out who this Beast guy is. Belle is saved by Beast, I am screaming at her to mind her own damn business because who knows? What if Beast is a 60 year old musty crusty old man who wants to groom her or some pedophillic shit like that, she ignores me, finds out Beast is some 14 year old kid named Kei who’s being abused by his dad and does some singing thing where she “unveils” herself to prove to Beast that… IDK what she proves to Beast but the Beast finally admits that he and his younger brother are being abused and their father cut off the livestream just as he is about to reveal his address and location TO A BUNCH OF STRANGERS. Suzu’s bestie does some next level spy shit and they find Kei’s neighbourhood. Suzu goes to the neighbourhood by herself to do something?? Sing at their dad until he turns over a new leaf or something?? She meets Beast and his younger brother, and protects them from their dad by staring at him until he runs away like a coward and there you go! The end! That’s it, we can all go home now!

Let’s start with why this is confusing - the irritating number of plotlines!

We start off being introduced to Suzu’s trauma as her mother left her motherless to rescue some poor kid. Watching this, I thought, this idea of whether the mother was in the right or in the wrong would be interesting to explore. It could have been considered selfish for her to abandon her six year old daughter, even if it was to rescue another girl. It’s true that it might as well have been suicide. Why didn’t she let emergency services handle it? Then, maybe, they could introduce that the mother worked as emergency services so she felt some sort of compulsion to rescue the girl and- No. They never mention the mother again, except once at the end of the movie, to revisit her trauma and show how she’s overcome it, but other than those measly few seconds, nothing. Ok, nevermind.

Obviously, the poor girl’s traumatised! Let’s get her and her dad therapy! How does her dad cope with the loss of his wife? Where even was he when the floods occurred? What if he was also part of the emergency services? Maybe, he could have been called away to help in another area that was also affected by the flood, and by the time he got back, his wife was dead, his child traumatised and motherless, and his life was in shambles! Oh, the tragedy, when he’s wracked with guilt over the fact that maybe he should have stayed, maybe then his wife would have been alive, his daughter not as emotionally dista- Oh wait, he only gets like two minutes of screentime in total. Guess we’ll never see the relationship between him and his daughter.

Let’s ignore this! Let’s think about one of the more interesting characters in this movie, Shinobu (his name forever remembered as ‘Hey, he has the same name as the butterfly girl in Demon Slayer!). He said he’d protect her when they were six? Aww, childhood friends to lovers, one of my favourite tropes! I really hope this relationship goes somewhere! I really really hope the Beast won’t ruin their relationship (the Beast had better not be him, that’d be way too predictable) cause I think they’d be really cute together. The statement about him not needing to be her guardian is kinda weird though I hope they clear that up… and Nope. The side characters have a better love story than them.

I won’t even get into the child abuse thing at the end that they didn’t wrap up. I will ignore the countless side characters who honestly are anything but important. Why do the choir ladies need to be there? Luka (remembered as ‘Hey, that one character from Miraculous Ladybug’ and ‘Where did she get that saxophone from?’) and Kamishin (I just remember his name, he’s iconic and I love him), as much as I love them, are completely irrelevant. Why bring in so many characters if they don’t serve a purpose, except to confuse viewers? A huge number of plotlines only make a viewer more distracted, leaving them with thoughts of ‘Are you going to elaborate?’. Not a good thing to have.

Next, my issues with “U”!

“U” is free for anyone of any age, race, religion, gender, sexuality, whatever to use. What is its purpose? Is it like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook? Why do people use it? Who knows, who cares! All we need to know is that this is a place where people can float around in little queues to do god knows what until Belle comes to sing her pretty little heart out! Okay, to be fair, we do see a bit of how a profile page of ”U” looks like, and apparently you can post things? I have no idea how that works and I do not want to get into it. Anyways, there are no restrictions here, unless you are ugly and you beat people up, because apparently there are “martial art arenas” in the weird VR place where you can beat people up, where you can beat PEOPLE THAT ARE POTENTIALLY CHILDREN up. Was that clear enough? Should I reiterate? THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS PLACE. THIS PLACE THAT HAS NO RESTRICTIONS FOR WHO AND WHERE MINORS CAN INTERACT WITH, WHICH IS A VERY VERY VERY BAD IDEA.

ARE THEY JUST GOING TO LET GROWN ADULTS BEAT CHILDREN UP? SHOW THEM PORN OR SOMETHING? GET GROOMED AND TRAFFICKED BY ADULTS??? THEN GET INTERROGATED BY SOME KNOCK OFF ALL MIGHT FROM MHA AND THREATENED TO GET DOXXED?????? I’m telling you, this shit has to be some form of illegal. But zowee, you say, this is a kids show! Don’t think so deeply into this! Fine. Let’s not think of HOW THIS SHIT SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN. Let's instead look through some of the many questions that I desperately need answered about "U", just off the top of my head.

How does “U” work? Do you have to buy some special earphones to make this thing work? How do you get into this world thingy? How does it not crash? What would happen to you if you are in it and it crashes? How did the Voices make this? Why did they make this? Why are there building thingies in there? Do people do things there? If Beast gets a castle, does that mean that everyone gets a castle? Can a pet go into “U”? Can you not change your avatar once you first set it? What the absolute hell are the whales and where do they come from? Do they have to practice for Belle's concerts or are they just really good at freestyling in sync? What were those glowy chest thingies coming out of everyone at the scene towards the end with everyone singing? The questions are endless!

Now, let’s complain about the characters, but like really briefly!

First, Suzu. Either she’s singing or she’s crying, nothing else. I do wish that they had done more character development other than her getting over her trauma (even then, that was done quite shallowly and in the spur of the moment and all). I would have liked to know more about why she was so interested in getting to know the Beast and finding out his identity and I refuse to accept curiosity as an answer. She's a pretty boring main character. Boo.

Kei is… definitely something. An aspiring slam poet, maybe. I would have liked to know more about his background. Where did his mother go? Where did he learn how to fight and apparently win against people who could have been professionals online? How did he get his castle with all his little AIs? Is something special about that one “Angel” AI? And why did he keep telling Belle not to look at him? I get that it could have been a reference to the OG Beauty and the Beast but I find it so ill-fitting. We weren’t given any reasons as to why he acted like that? And why did the children view him as a hero? Was there something they saw in a scary hunchbacked monster in their little under-developed minds that caused them to think of underground fighting as a thing a hero does? Anyway, methinks this kid has a hell load of attachment issues! Get him therapy!

Justin is a stupid name for a stupid person with a stupid hero complex. I sincerely believe that if this were real and this Justin guy tried to form his little knock off power rangers squad, he’d get bullied so hard off the website. He’d get doxxed, his twitter exposed, his mother prank called, his life in shambles. All of this over him trying to play at being some hero and everyone finding that super cringe because goddamn, everytime I see this guy appear on screen, I immediately feel like crying. He and his Scooby Squad would get bullied by teenagers, cancelled so hard, they’d fall off the face of the Earth.

That is all for the complaining about the characters, cause everyone else’s role was so minor, they might as well not be in the show.

In conclusion, I don't hate this movie, I really don't. Do I think it could be better? Of course. Do I think the ending was disappointing? Hell yea. Do I absolutely detest the shitty CGI used? Goddamn, I do. But, as someone who watches Ghibli movies solely for the soundtrack and just really appreciates music in general, the music in this show was absolutely gorgeous. Each song was wonderful to hear and I found myself willing to risk my Spotify Wrapped to play this soundtrack on repeat. As mentioned at the start, the voice acting was brilliant and I really love Suzu's unique voice. The animation, when it wasn't CGI, was smooth and Belle's outfits were so cute! Some scenes, especially the one where everyone sang together for Belle, gave me goosebumps. This movie, though convoluted and annoying, is worth a watch.