The first time I watched Paranoia Agent was years ago, and I didn't enjoy it at all. Eventually, I re-watched it, and realized that I didn't get it back then. It's fine to admit this. A wonder of anime is not just what's next for us to experience, but going back and watching older works that an older version of ourselves may not have appreciated, that a newer version of ourselves can. I'm not saying I completely understand it now, because Satoshi Kon wrote mysterious in all the answers as well, though now I can finally appreciate what Paranoia Agent is partly about, at least.

It moves me because I get to see the entire cast lose their minds. It moves me because it explores what makes people go mad, and to the extent they will go to runaway from their own problems instead of confronting them. This is an anime for people who are running away: all of us. I think everyone is running away from something.

As director, Satoshi Kon shows a world that feels like a surreal circus, such as our own, and the clowns that are regular people, such as me, and our inability to cope with reality. Sagi is a character designer who suffers from a traumatic past. She falls under the pressure of not being able to create a new character, her terrible co-workers, and accidentally designs one out of her paranoia called Shonen Bat. As a result, she assaults herself at the height of her stress, and blames it on this scapegoat she created. An investigation ensues where Shonen Bat begins to take over the city as this savior of the worst kind. Instead of facing their problems head on, new characters emerge and call out to Shonen Bat, as the media made a big deal of Sagi's story, and they all try to escape their problems by taking a bat to the head, the easy way out, which hurts them more in the end.

The wonder about this series is that Satoshi Kon's creativity plays here, partly with his abundance of leftover ideas from his career. That means that when Sagi's paranoia created her scapegoat Shonen Bat in her mind to take the blame for her hitting herself, so that she can extend her work deadline, fantasy and reality crossed paths. Shonen Bat turned into a sort of reality. They say Shonen Bat sets you free from all your problems. It's all so enticing and yet so fake.

The message is clear here. For all of us, we make up our own Shonen Bats; our own scapegoats and form of escapism to distract us and make us forget about our realities. Whether it's anime, spending on ourselves, throwing our bodies at people, etc, this series forces us, for those who really try to think about it, what makes being ourselves and human so terrifying. It makes me think that perhaps there is no such thing as a level headed person. Paranoia Agent critiques human paranoia, our paranoia, and says that you must be weary and cautious of this. If you are driven into a corner, and run away, you have no where to go. Your are essentially running on a treadmill as your problems start to catch up to you. It's been a common theme lately in some of my videos, but you must face reality. Paranoia Agent is an extreme example of this and shows you how at least some characters manage to victoriously and magnificently overcome their situations, and keep themselves from delusion; fantasy thought. It only gets better if you face your problems and deal with them head on. Accept you were wrong, and your mistakes. Say you're sorry. Until then, you're only going backwards, and more under.

Late at night, when Adult Swim would begin, long when I was young, I was only allowed to stay up late enough to watch Cowboy Bebop, and that was only sometimes. The first episode I ever watched was Heavy Metal Queen. I still remember it, despite that my memory is trash. I have almost no memories of my life left well in tact enough until my early 20s. Continuing, Once Cowboy Bebop finished, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex would be next. I'd only have time to watch the opening, sometimes, and wondered how peculiar it looked, because I had never seen anything like it. At this young and more ignorant stage, I was very ignorant. Cowboy Bebop became my favorite anime at that time out of how bizarre, different, and refreshing it was for me. I didn't care about anything else. Growing up in America, as a kid, whenever I went to a VHS rental store as a kid, the first thing I'd do was run to the anime section and just stare at it. I don't remember what was on those shelves, but it looked cool, and had an impact on me. As for Adult Swim, Paranoia Agent would come on even later at night. I never had a chance to meet it.

It would be several years later, though as I said, I could not understand what Satoshi Kon and the staff were trying to say. In my confusion, I felt disappointment, and frustration that was more out of ignorance than anything else.

Watching it again recently, and twice over during the editing, I was moved to tears by it, and by how much of a fool I was to think it was terrible. Maybe one day, I'll be recognized as the great fool I am and maybe a statue will be made; a statue of the greatest fool for all to laugh at.

For Sagi, It's about the pressure of work. The pressure of being good at what you do, and the jealousy and torment that comes along from terrible co-workers. In my other job, it's retail, and the world of that is like a high school. It's not about who works the hardest or the least. It's politics. You have the play the game. You can be the hardest worker, and be taken advantage of and worked like a dog. They can be the laziest, and yet if they are the favorite, it is them who will get the promotions and favors. There is a game you have to play. Some look down on people who make less money. I'd say, that if the job helps humanity in any way, it was dignity and worth. Still, sell your labor to exploitative corporations, but don't sell your soul!

For Keiichi, the detective who fell, he had to face many hardships. The ideal marriage was shattered by a failed pregnancy. His struggle to solve the case of Shonen Bat ended in disaster and losing his job. At first, it seemed fine to fantasize. He felt he lost his place in human society, and felt he had nowhere to go as he worked several jobs at that point to make it financially. He had to face the fact that loving somebody in this world isn't forever. As he found a way to escape in the fake town of fake people and happiness, he realized that this was all a lie. He realized he had to acknowledge his misery, and to not let it win, he decided to stop running away. He lived on because of his tragedies, because that is to be above them. He must move forward and find a better way, because it's better to be a realist than a fantasist.

Wake up and admit your life is terrible. Say sorry for your mistakes and make the struggle to move forward. Break out of the comfort zone, and follow the rightful advice you've covered your eyes and ears to every time. Then, you can take that first real step forward with your eyes finally open.

These are only two characters from this series. The viewers will have to prepare for the fates of the rest of the cast, as disturbing as they are.

Satoshi Kon once again creates a work that though it appears to be horrifying and bleak, is trying to shake you and to wake you up from your misery with inspirations and motivation.

Something I enjoy about this series is how it has very strong episodic episodes. There's the one about the chaos of mania of gossip, another written very well about three friends who want to die, and find out by the end something even more disturbing, and yet another episode as a critique of anime production and how this careers is killing the staff, all worth it for the finished product.

Once again, as in Millennium Actress, Susumu Hirasawa delivers another great soundtrack that continues to show the viewers how he can create something so fitting, immersive and creative to the work.

The problem with this series is that most of us in the West saw it as kids, and could not grasp this series and how deep what it's trying to say is. I made this mistake, and learned so much on this re-watch.

As the world crumbles, in fiction here and in reality, people lose their minds, in here and in reality, and find ways to escape. However the series reminds us, that for many of us, the insanity of escapism will never be overcome. It's tragic. Paranoia Agent a warning, to wake up from your paranoia, because most never will.