Name: I cried thus I feel alive. Cannibal magical: Fate and one's place in the world
Item: Hitokui Magical: Satsuriku Kijutsu no Niounomiya Kyoudai
Rating: 100
Author: solarplateaus

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Hitokui Magical: Satsuriku Kijutsu no Niounomiya Kyoudai

a review by solarplateaus

solarplateaus

3 years ago·Dec 4, 2022

100

/ 100

Zaregoto:Hitokui Magical SPOILERS ahead

"On that note, have you ever thought of yourself as the protagonist of a story? You do not need to have much conviction about it, but have you ever, at least once, thought of yourself as an existence somewhere in an enormous story? Too predestined to be just a chance, too inevitable to be just an incident, too karmic to be just a coincidence, too fated to be just an accident, anything, anytime, anywhere, when something abnormal occurred around you, having thought that, have you never ended up thinking that?"

"Each and every person has a predefined role. There is no pointless person, everyone is a cog for the world. Even the tragic cog just spinning in place in a completely meaningless location, even such hollowness greatly affects its surroundings"

At the very beginning, the story puts us into this tricky dilemma of fate and immortality, where one must question if the life they have been living is some kind of predestined, harmonised story or some kind of simulated world where no matter the resistance, the result always standouts the same. And if such a story exists, is it possible for someone to break outside of it? And if one ables to do so, if one has already conquered their fate, then aren't they logically dead? And if they're still alive and breathing, it won't be a far-fetched idea to call them immortal. Such is the absurd logic of this book which is pushed to its extremity by its flashy cast of characters.
ii talks with two such people who have broken the logical confinements of life and are existing out of the harmony of the world and are isolated to the point one can call them dead.
He ponders if fate truly exists, then he would be the same pathetic guy no matter how much he tries to change or run away from it. Lots of people around him have died, and this won't change no matter how much he tries. Opposing destiny is meaningless, as doing so will throw one out of the very system of the world. This situation once again puts him in a state of confusion.

Further down into the story, the tragedy of the laboratory proves to be ii's breaking point. His presence has been deemed as the one who indirectly kills just by existing and it continues to be so. Once again he has killed those close to him. He might as well commit suicide. But he's far too frail for that. He makes a deliberate attempt to flee the crime scene and, ultimately, his fated role. He is a cog—a mediocre detective, and his job is to observe and solve each murder mystery he encounters. But he's grown tired of it now. He does not want anyone to be harmed. He doesn't want to hurt himself. People die all around him; he is, after all, the detective in this story. But he is sick of this role. He doesn't want the people around him to die. He is fed up with his own fate. He is tired of playing his part in this story. Aimlessly floating in a sea of isolation. Like an aimless equation. Running away from fate. Declining the death. Like a living corpse. Alive, but dead. Damaged good. He should just die and disappear.

__"....Miiko-san"
I touched my cheek.
It was wet and sticky with blood.
"I….have found something to do"
"Is that so?"
"Something I have to do"
"Is that so?"
Miiko-san gave a small nod.__

"I was the weakest, so I was the strongest.
I was the strongest, so I was the weakest."

But after his heated argument with Miiko, he realises something insignificant but crucial. All of his friends and all of the bonds he had formed were the result of his tragic fate. He didn't have to change his fate, nor did he have to flee from it. He had to confront and face it. He had no choice but to accept his fate. All of the tragic events of the past may have rendered him humanity's weakest, but they also provided him with the strength to stand alongside humanity's strongest.

"I don’t even know if I’m alive or dead.
Vague and unclear, half-assed and hazy, not choosing anything and letting myself go along with other people, I led an uncertain life without deciding, that’s why--
“....I don’t want to die-----”
Like that.
I realized that I wanted to live.
I learned at what moments I cried"

In all of this nonsense of fate and death, ii is the one who has finally affirmed his place in the world. It could be the same as before, or it could be different. People around ii may or may not die. But he has made the decision to move forward. He is finally maturing. He is gradually gaining an understanding of others. He is learning not to betray his friends. He is learning not to injure himself.
He is still alive because he does not want to die. Because he cried, he is still alive.
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There are many strange and quirky people in the world who compromise their uniqueness in order to fit in with social groups. I believe that the rules and social norms set by society or a community mitigate the individuality. Zaregoto is a story about such oddballs and their place in society. If they want to change just to fit in with the surroundings, that depends whether they find their own answers to a question.
Essentially, people live in one of two ways. Either they live in awareness of their own worthlessness, or they live in awareness of the worthlessness of the world. Two ways. Either you allow your value to be absorbed by the world, or you chisel away at the world’s value and make it your own. Which should take precedence, the value of the world or your own value?