I have experienced quite a lot of art over the course of my time in this world, most of which I have enjoyed - and even those works I haven't enjoyed, I have still felt glad that I experienced them nonetheless.
Wonder Egg Priority is not one such work of art.
In fact, I could even argue I regret having experienced it - maybe even that I feel ashamed to have experienced it, feel angry to have experienced it. I did not always feel this was about the show, and I really, really wish I didn't - and, until I had the displeasure of sitting through every agonising minute of this episode, I actually didn't.
Wonder Egg Priority was a gorgeous and unique show which I enjoyed for - most of - it's 12 episode run: It looked fantastic, it sounded fantastic, it had compelling characters, it had interesting mysteries, and it had Ai - so really, apart from a fucked up production which messed it's release up, it was quite a decent show. Though, notably, it lacked a proper conclusion - so, fans such as myself were left waiting for a conclusion to it's story; a conclusion that was announced to be granted with the release of an extra long special episode on June 30th 2021.
And so, I waited.
And it released.
And I watched.
And I watched.
And I watched.
And Wonder Egg Priority: My Priority was an insult. An insult to my patience, my intelligence, and my dignity, and the patience, intelligence and dignity of all others who watched it. With its very existence, this 46 minute slog renders its parent show pointless. Nothing you watched mattered, nothing you watched was worth your time - it was not worth caring about Ai and her journey, it was not worth caring about Rika and her struggles, it was not worth caring about Momoe and her accepting her identity, and it was not worth caring about Neiru and her path to understanding human connections. Nothing was worth it, because this god damned episode will not give you even the smallest satisfaction you could possibly ask for. Were you interested in the weird, freaky, interesting new foes introduced a few episodes ago? Fuck you, they don't appear, nor are they even mentioned. Were you interested in Frill as a character, maybe hoping she would be fleshed out like our other main heroines in some way or at least be given a motivation? Fuck you, she doesn't even appear besides one brief flash. Were you interested in Acca and Ura-Acca as characters, or in the "Warriors of Eros" they mentioned? Fuck you, they don't matter. Were you interested in Rika or Momoe as characters? Fuck you, they barely appear here. How about Ai, were you interested in our lovable main character? Maybe what's going to happen now that she's got her best friend back? Double fuck you, Koito was apparently just some bitch who wanted to fuck with a teacher and died accidentally like a dumbass. Were you interested in Neiru? Oh man, I feel really, really sorry for you. I really do. This show, however, does not: In fact, it has two words to give you: FUCK YOU. You see Neiru was an AI all along, and was a fake robot sister to Airu, the sister who stabbed her, who did so because she was a freaky AI thing - which, honestly, fair. Now, she is going to abandon everything established in the past 12 episodes of television and go off with Frill to do... Something? I guess you'll find out in the sequel this episode really, really wants to happen!
Alright. Were you at least interested in getting one last 46 minute send-off to a show you enjoyed, even if it was bad? I mean, that's all I was really looking for - some sort of closure, or maybe a sequel tease like we got. An episode that would use its runtime to make some sort of effort to conclude Wonder Egg Priority.
And yet, this episode does not do that.
Wonder Egg Priority: My Priority is a 46 minute special episode that insults you at every possible moment for caring about it, and it began doing so from the very moment it was announced: That is because Wonder Egg Priority: My Priority is not a 46 minute special episode. It is a 23 minute recap, stitched onto a 23 minute insult. You will sit watching it for at least 5, maybe 10, or maybe the whole 23 minutes before you realise what is actually happening, what you sat down to watch.
Wonder Egg Priority: My Priority was exhausting to watch and exhausting to remember and exhausting to write about. It is an insult, plain and simple. It would not surprise me if an announcement was made tomorrow that it was intended as one, that it was the creators' middle finger to the producers who fucked them over - and honestly, that would make me less mad. Because at least then, this episode would have a meaning. My time spent watching it would have meaning.
And yet, it does not.
I sat in front of my screen and my eyes took in a 46 minute animated video production that meant nothing, that said nothing, that was worth nothing. I sat, and I watched, and I came out of it upset, frustrated, angry, and, oxymoronically, empty. I beg anyone who reads this who hasn't already made that mistake to stay far, far away.