Onimai is a joy to watch, I don't often find myself smiling just from seeing great animation, this is one of the best production works I've seen in recent memory. It's a labour of love that is maligned by awful discourse surrounding its more "problematic" elements. I'm gonna be honest, I don't care about how potentially "problematic" this anime might be to some people. There seems to be this mob mentality that is compelled to brute force every element of an anime's identity in to a neat little box so that they can arbitrarily assign or dock points based on how problematic it'd be if this work was a 1:1 reflection of our reality. News flash, this isn't a work based in reality. That doesn't mean there aren't lessons to learn from Onimai. While Mahiro was originally a male neet, he is only around 16-17 years old when the story begins. This premise isn't some evil scheme to have the main character groom children under the guise of being a little girl. It's about a kid being given a second chance and reclaiming some structure in his life with the help of his sister. Even IF it were a story based around a full adult, the motivation behind this narrative wouldn't change. He isn't harbouring illicit thoughts about children or playing some long con to satisfy his male ego. This is a story of rehabilitation as his sister states.
While I wouldn't describe Onimai as an explicitly "trans" story, there's many examples throughout that people can identify with and attribute to some awakening to your true self. In episode 1, after being transformed, his sister makes him take a bath and wear a dress. There's a moment of pause at the realisation he likes how he looks in the mirror. Him being able to see himself as cute acts as a sort of reward and motivation to take better care of himself. It's easy to sink deeper in to self loathing and take less care of yourself when you're already feeling down, this scene is the first step towards reminding himself not only of how easy it is to simply do those basic self care things but also how much more comfortable you feel in your own skin afterwards. You see how much he enjoys this version of himself when he sheepishly tries to lean in to the role of the cute girl archetype, which he sees through his hobbies on a daily basis. He has to make excuses to his sister because he's embarrassed over how naturally these feminine behaviours come to him.
We all know that moe is an integral part of the anime experience, people joke constantly about how much they identify as cute girls and will use pictures of them as banners, profile pictures, etc, to signal who their favourite character is, and what their favourite series are. This goes deeper for many people, who use these personalities as extensions of themselves, an avenue to feel closer to the character and allowing them to express themselves more honestly. Finding cute things cute is probably the biggest example of this phenomenon and is something men struggle with as it doesn't conform to the "masculine ideal". This otaku centric perspective is at the heart of what Onimai is about. It is a story about opening up and accepting that we're all different and can't fit in to any neat little box society wants to put us in. You shouldn't feel ashamed for your hobbies or tastes no matter how "weird" they appear. This is ultimately what contributes to Mahiro losing touch with society and and retreating in to his room. He feels like an outcast because he didn't have an envrionment that nurtured his personality.
This anime loves to flip common dynamics on its head. Post transformation, Mihari is the one acting in place of Miharo as the "big brother", taking Miharo outside and exercising. Miharo express an inferiority complex over how talented his sister is at everything but despite this difference in self ascribed worth, he admires her and feels like he can star in the role of "little sister". It's this genuine sibling bond that drives the entire show, without Mihari, Miharo would be trapped in his solitude and as we later find out, Mihari is only as successful as she is because she desired to be praised by her older brother and wears the same hair clip he gifted her all these years later. There's a simple but effective scene where Miharo comes to a halt underneath the bridge's shadow and Mihari leaves the light to join him resulting in a double entendre "it hurts", referring to both the sentimentality of the scene and the pain in his nipples. It acts as both a reflection of Miharo's mental state and a funny bit of comedy. This anime is really effective at sneaking in great character writing with its comedy, there's a recurring gag where Miharo interrogates Mihari over why she doesn't dress up more and entertain her femininity, which is rich coming from the guy who is just discovering what the female experience entails. It even has Mahiro ask his sister what it even means to be "masculine", (shouldn't he know?). The writing gets really empathetic with this in episode 2 when Mahiro experiences his first period and now has context for what women have to deal with on a monthly basis, among taking care of long hair and other things. This anime is constantly pushing in that direction of mutual understanding and acceptance even in scenes that many people will quickly dismiss over being "gross" or "ecchi" in nature.
When Miharo first meets Momiji, he mistakes her for a boy and hides behind her because of the perceived security they provide. The fact that Momiji isn't a boy reinforces the series' theme about non conforming identity. She contrasts the male > female perspective that Mahiro represents. Momiji feels more comfortable wearing pants than she does wearing skirts or frilly clothing and is self conscious over this preference. It surprises her when Mahiro refers to her as cute and she has a complex over her flat chest. Mahiro routinely is called "cute" and seen as more feminine from Momiji's own perspective, this explains why she's possessive and gets easily jealous when her friends interact with them, she sorta lives through Miharo vicariously as they're her more feminine ideal which compensates for her more boyish personality. This dynamic is why they're often paired together from here on out.
This anime makes a point of celebrating halloween, new years, valentine's day and his birthday, all occassions he comes to love because of his fresh perspective and opportunities. Episode 6 has one of my favourite scenes where Mahiro says goodbye to his new friends and is self conscious about invading their group dynamic. There's a very intentional pace to the scene when they're walking in another direction from him and they focus in on the methodical steps as if the wheels are turning, that they're reflecting on going out with friends and considering the possibilities that stem from these experiences. He's begun to look forward to and desire doing more social things. It's a pivotal moment in his development where his anxiety over intruding on their friend group is met with assurance that he belongs. I really appreciate the quiet moments this anime plants at opportune moments. Such as when When Mahiro returns home from school and regales how his day went before breaking out in to a content smile, when he feels indebted to all she does for him and looks after her when she's sick.They're paced well and emphasise the emotional core experience.
Ultimately Onimai is a very comforting anime about cute girls doing cute things that has elements a younger generation can relate to. The fear and insecurity of sharing your hobbies and going outside, that it's ok to be who you are without worrying about appearances, and reintegrating with society. I feel that a lot of people dismiss this series out of spite, they don't want to try to even understand where it's coming from and try to meet it. It's very easy to take a couple scenes out of context and characterise the show as some perverse waste of time. You can twist and frame any work to fit your agenda. You won't hear critics bring up the sentimentality of a scene like when Mahiro shares a bath with his sister and the focus is on them reminiscing about their childhood, there's no lusting or ulterior motives. Onimai's conceit has explicitly always been about rehabilitation, the fact there's a couple ecchi scenes does not disprove this. The motive has never been to ogle at underage girls, it's all surface level observations about aesthetics and sensibilities. There is nothing sinister about this series, it's sincere and doesn't shy away from presenting itself firmly in the medium's more "controversial" elements. It's one thing if you don't enjoy this style, it's another to willfully misrepresent what a work is trying to achieve and regurgitate the same old talking points your favourite anituber said because it's the "cool" thing to do.
Anime is (not) trash, YOU are.