Neon Genesis Evangelion is a poorly executed excuse for a psychological deep-dive. It puts themes over substance and as such lacks any type of development or actual plot. Instead it just introduces new elements every couple episodes or shows a character having a breakdown and then calls it a day. Case in point: Kaworu.

After a series of monster-of-the-week episodes that go absolutely nowhere in terms of developing the plot or Shinji's character, Evangelion suddenly devolves into what I can only call a pathetic display of teenage pretence at deep thought and nihilism. We see Shinji sitting on the ground, crying, as the people in his life stand around him and watch. I can perfectly see how a preteen who's just picked up his or her first authorial pen might write something like this, but it is not something anyone who is over the age of 14 should waste their time on.

Philosophy is not all Evangelion has a go at, religion is another victim. The show pretends at biblical subtext and motifs but, to anyone who's ever taken the trouble of opening up the Christian "good book", it'll be evident that the author himself did no such thing. Calling your monsters "angels" and adding some crucifixes here and there does not make your story intertextual. I myself am not a Christian, but if I was, I would be offended.

Then there's the actual execution of the show. I think that mentioning the elevator scene is more than enough to prove my point; two characters standing still in an unmoving environment for over a minute is not animation. It's looking at a .png, and shouldn't be included in a medium as expressive, rich and open-ended as animation, especially from the studio that also animated Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and FLCL. How this scene can be attributed to anything other than running out of budget is beyond me. Not to mention the horrendous German spoken by Asuka's VA in both the original Japanese and the English dub. Could they not find a consultant or a VA with any experience speaking other languages?

Finally, we can't discuss Evangelion without discussion the author: Hideaki Anno. Anno's predispositions seep into the show so thoroughly that, at times, it feels like that moment at Christmas dinner when you're alone with the uncle who can't help himself from making mildly misogynistic insinuations every couple phrases he speaks. Every single notable female character suffering from internalised misogyny can be interpreted only one way, I think.

At the end of the day, Evangelion is an overbudgeted yet underwhelming vent from a deeply troubled (and troublesome) man with delusions of artistry. It is a preteen throwing an emotional tantrum. If I wanted to see that, I would go find me a spoiled brat in some park to watch. And yeah... I'm not doing that. Thanks but no, thanks.