I'm not the same man I was before I watched Hanoka.

I've got to give credit where credit is due--I've seen very few works of fiction after which I view the world so differently. Many times a good series has caused me to reflect on my own outlook on life and what I can do to improve as a person, or simply elicited entirely new emotional reactions that I never knew prior. The way Hanoka manages to set itself apart from any other anime I've watched is simple: it is so laughably bad that I don't know if I'll ever watch something comparable to it ever again. It's the statistical outlier on the left side of the bell curve. The 1st percentile of anime. Hanoka does what no anime has ever done, and for that it needs to be discussed.

One key factor worth noting before getting too deeply entrenched in my puzzlement about Hanoka: the entire series was made in Flash. The same Adobe Flash that we all know and hate. I'm willing to admit that this probably created many setbacks in the animation process that resulted in a lower quality end product. They tried their best (?) given the limitations that animating in Flash likely poses, and that's commendable, maybe? However, a counterpoint:

Why would you make your anime in FLASH? For what purpose?

Such is the reason I don't feel too bad about raising concerns regarding the animation quality. Flash wasn't made to do that, and purposely choosing a sub-optimal medium doesn't excuse poor quality when other options exist, such as the option to not make a TV anime.

What's it even about?

Does it even matter? Does one gain any deeper understanding of the plot than what they read in the brief and uninspiring synopsis? Such thoughts have plagued my every waking hour in the aftermath of watching Hanoka. I don't know if I could give an explanation of "what it was about". The show doesn't divulge such information. It's fascinating to consume a story that has zero exposition as well as no other plot elements to supplement the lack of typical introductory scenes of some kind. It throws off a balance that I didn't even know existed. I've taken for granted the fact that most stories have a well-defined beginning and end, or at the very least a vague notion of such a thing.

Hanoka doesn't afford its viewer those kinds of luxuries. One can expect there to be an ending, sure, but it's hollow. It doesn't feel like a victory, because the viewer hardly knows what it took to get there besides an hour's worth of nigh incomprehensible battles and scenes that were probably supposed to be emotionally moving but weren't. It functions as punishment for even considering watching Hanoka in the first place. "You blithering fool," the story seems to tell its viewer.

I'd be a much happier man if I could simply summarize the plot for 2200 letters and click Save. But the truth is, I don't know what I'd be summarizing. There's a guy and a girl and they...kill the bad guys? If an elementary school teacher showed their students the synopsis to this anime and asked them to write a short paragraph about what they think would happen, it'd be a more accurate plot summary than anything I could muster, even having watched the show. I will forever be bedeviled by Hanoka for as long as I walk this earth, for I must denounce its inadequacy while being unable to form the words to properly do so.

~~9/100 instead of zero because I thought it was kinda funny~~