This review will contain spoilers.

I don't remember how old I was when I first watched this movie. Maybe it was during the lockdown, maybe it was a bit after or before, I really don't know. Which is strange, considering that I can't remember how I was before watching it. It's almost like I've always watched it, ever since I was born, at it has been engraved in my soul ever since.

There's not much more than can be said about A Silent Voice that hasn't been stated before multiple times. Boy bullies deaf girl, boy regrets later and tries to reconcile with girl. And it's as beautiful, as touching and as vulnerable as everyone says it is.

There's something that invokes such a fragile feeling in me while watching this; maybe its the animation that almost feel like a sentient canvas, flowing seamlessly on the screen. Maybe it's how the story corporates guilt in its most primal and devastating way possible, maybe its how the soundtrack translates all of that into a simple piano. Maybe it's how this movie is looking directly at me, staring into my very being and talking with me. But before I talk about that, I have to talk about everything else.

At first glance, the selling point is undoubtedly the animation. Kyoto Animations put so much care in what they do that their drawings make you feel everything. I'm not specifically talking about the emotional feel, rather just the physical feel. You can feel the heat, you can feel the rain, you can feel the breeze, something even live-action movies very rarely achieve. But you can also feel the guilt, you can also feel the shame, the yearn. You can feel the desperation, be it from Shoya's mom when she finds out he wants to kill himself, from Shoya himself trying to make up for Nishimiya, from herself trying so hard "not to be a burden", from Ueno trying to go back to how things were, not only thanks to the overall beauty of the drawings, but the art directing as well. In that aspect I have to give huge props to the directing and voice acting as well.

Miyu Irino as Shoya is exceptional: he hits every scream, every sob, his tone is perfect. Again, you can feel everything, even if it's left unsaid. Saori Hayami, as Shoko, is a much subtler performance, but that almost makes her even more impressive. Expressing as much emotion as the other characters while mimicking the dialogue of a girl with impaired hearing is surreal. All voice actors come together to give life to their character's words, their wishes, themselves, all alongside the directing which man, its so good. Like for real, it's bizarre. I've never seen camerawork (we're talking about an animation here) that manages to express so well anxiety. How the camera pans to the ground when we're in Shoya's pov is so amazing. And the "X"s. Yoshitoki, you are a genius. It's so simple but work so, so well.

And finally, the story and the music. This is an unique movie where I feel like I can't talk about one without simultaneously discussing the other. As I said, boy bullies girl and wants to make up for it. But here's the thing: boy thinks there's no escape. He feels like he has sinned so greatly, his entire life will serve as punishment. He thinks himself as repugnant, a villain. Shoyo cannot let go of the past, he cannot let go of his actions and therefore, he cannot grow, something he desperately needs. He feels he has stripped Shoko of something so important, that he must strip himself of the most important thing he has: his life. He is missing something in himself, that love. That's when the soundtrack comes into play as well.

This soundtrack is a dialogue. It speaks with you, it is complementary. It is the exclamation point at the end of the sentence, it's the final stroke of the pen before the end of the sentence. Not only does it obviously set the tone with happy music during happy scene, but it elevates it to another level. Like how inv(l.i) leads the scene with each note, how acc gives that feeling of freshness among the other depressing tracks just like the scene it's played over, how van (personal favorite) perfectly incapsulates that serenity of proximity, the surprise of intimacy; the feeling when what you thought you hurt the most tells you "thank you". And how the start and the end of the movie play the same song, but the start is incomplete; Shoya has not completed his own song, and it is only when he finally looks everyone in the eye, he finishes it, and that's when lit(var) is born.

All I said before had to be discussed, because they are all the pillars of the story. Even the plot itself works as a pillar to something greater. A plot filled with sadness and light. Shoya and Shoko are both tormented by their pasts, by their actions. One cannot forget what he has done, and blames himself for all unfortunates that have happened to him, the other blames herself being a burden, since others cannot comprehend her, neither can she. Both blame themselves for existing, both want to die, both want the other to live. Suicide is selfish. You are sending your pain to others. You cannot find a way out, no matter what you do. But you are so, so important. You can only think yourself as a burden when you still have love and compassion within you. You cannot exist alone, that is something both our characters find out. Shoya can make up to Shoko by just existing next to her, being a source of warmth. Shoko can make up to everyone by realizing she doesn't need to do so. They don't need to blame themselves for all eternity. They have grown. They can forgive themselves now. That is the main message I got: everyone will grow. Everyone will change. You can forgive yourself.

I feel like this movie was made for me. I know it wasn't but still. It speaks with me in a language I thought only I spoke. It welcomes you with open arms to the vulnerability of it all, to all the beauty and pain, and to all the change. This movie has affected me in ways I cannot comprehend myself. I disintegrate whenever I watch it because maybe, my suffering can be as meaningful and as beautiful and as grotesque as this. Maybe I can change too. "I want to fix what I destroyed". "It's the time you spend trying to change that matters". "I want you to help me live". These words resonate with me to a molecular level. It is enchanting, bewitching. And warm, so warm. Watch it.