…I get it now.
For those of you who know me personally, that means something to you. But for the rest of you, I’ve got a bit of explaining to do.
My maiden encounter with the iconic black comedy Watamote: No Matter How I Look At It, It’s You Guys’ Fault I’m Not Popular! was directly off the tail end of having finished Welcome to the NHK, as I dug around feverishly for other shows that would speak to my experience with social anxiety. Of course I’d seen the main character Tomoko before, on various occasions, donned by many an Instagram profile as their picture, but beyond that I had not an inkling about the show she comes from. When I finally sat down, watched it, and faced my feelings afterwards, I was… torn. It’s both one of the most realistic depictions of the disparity between one’s perception of self and their reality as a result of social phobia, and also one of the cringiest, innards-twisting experiences I’ve ever had to sit through. You get to watch Tomoko’s feeble and outrageous attempts to integrate into normal society as a high schooler wrought with social anxiety, as well as her cripplingly embarrassing failures with each attempt. At first… it just seemed cruel, to depict a character with my own mental handicap in such a way that the viewer is meant to derive comic relief out of her suffering. And I think that was many people’s first impressions of the show, judging from its mixed perception. But I think I had it wrong.
As someone with social anxiety so disparaging that I constantly am tempted by the thought of going full blown hikikomori, Tomoko’s uphill climb is deeply compelling on several levels. First, you have her unfaltering resilience, as she gets up every morning with some new hair-brained and hilarious tactic for scoring a few social points. My problems initially with the show was that it never seemed like it progressed beyond this, but on rewatch I notice that with each new plan, Tomoko’s sights become gradually steadier and more rooted in reality, and that’s where I think a large amount of the hilarity comes from. It’s basically the show looking at me and saying, “You remember all this from high school? You were doing too much, kid!”. She even manages to catch another character’s awe by the end of the show, even if her anxiety is never resolved (an unfortunate reality, by the way. Things getting easier to deal with does not mean they go away, ever). Secondly, I was confronted by what it really looks like to shift blame on everyone but one’s own self for one’s inability to adapt to social environments. Tomoko finds herself bitter at passing bits of mundane conversation, deflects her insecurities and projects haughtiness on everyone else, manipulates and lies to her friend (yes, just one) and family, and then is forced to ponder why it all goes wrong when none of it works.
It's a shockingly realistic character study that might seem overly dramatic or exaggerated to the average person but to someone with many of her specific struggles still pervading throughout my own life, it’s immensely valuable for my own growth. It points the finger and laughs at every wrong step I’ve taken, whether that’s passing blame on others to avoid responsibility or doing the absolute most to appear likeable. And the even grimmer, yet funnier part? Tomoko moves through life as a hormonal mentally unstable teenage girl with no therapy, no medication, and a family that can’t possibly understand why she is the way she is (I never stopped laughing at every interaction with her brother, who is so understandably fed up with her shit). I can feel Watamote giving me the side eye and remarking about how significant progress can be made even in the worst situations, yet also saying “This doesn’t have to be you, lmao, GO TO THERAPY”.
If you don’t or have never struggled with social phobia, you probably won’t get much more enjoyment out of Watamote: No Matter How I Look At It, It’s You Guys’ Fault I’m Not Popular! than you would watching compilations of the same guy getting kicked in the balls over and over, but for those of you that do, it’s a valuable use of your time. You might get either a good reality check or a fun time full of self-aware laughter. Either way, it’s a good show at the end of the day.
Score on first watch: 54/100
Score on second watch: 77/100
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