I have mixed feelings about Senpai is an Otokonoko. There are many things I enjoyed about the story, especially with the character growth for Makoto. Despite I view myself as female and haven't really questioned that, I still feel like there were times I have thought "But wait, what if I did feel like the other gender?" growing up. Perhaps not as much as someone who thinks about transitioning or like Makoto where Makoto can't decide which gender to identify as. Or both. I suppose I'll try using the they/them pronouns for Makoto for this review.

I suppose I'll go over first all the positives that I enjoyed about this story. First is an easy positive: the humor. There's quite a few moments of shocked faces or just situations that made me smile or laugh. It didn't feel out of place or ill-timed which was nice.

I really liked how this is a really character-driven story as well. It's nice to focus on the characters and just see them interact, and through those interactions, it leads to them changing and influencing each other. Makoto is a great protagonist and I felt the story did well at describing their conflicting feelings about gender and how they want to be accepted. No matter what, everyone has struggled at some point in their lives with trying to be accepted and loved. I admire Makoto fighting for their self-expression. Where the anime ends, I felt like it really completed Makoto's arc as Makoto finally confronted the mother. It's not exactly a clean resolution per se, but the chance to have an open dialogue with Makoto's mother feels realistic and shows maturity for Makoto as they starts to stand up for themself.

Ryuji was my favorite character. His struggle to find out whether his affection is romantic or not was an interesting dynamic to the usual love triangle. I really loved how genuine he was and the moment he dropped everything to help Saki whenever she called him was just such a great character moment. I honestly wanted to see more of his story, especially at the end. (I'll bring this up again later.)

Saki was a refreshing spark to the story as always. Her struggles were the other half of this story and there are genuinely heart-breaking moments when it comes to her life. Her divorced parents, her elderly grandmother, the desire to please everyone and the suppression of her own feelings. All of it just hits you so hard. Maybe a little too hard. For a majority of the story, whenever Saki questioned if her love was true or real or special, I felt seen. As someone who identifies on the aroace spectrum, I really saw Saki's struggle as something I've dealt with. I've questioned myself many times and I've cried over what I felt like my lacking of emotion. Seeing her go through something similar, it made me hope that perhaps this story was leaning in that direction.

But I was wrong.

SPOILERS BELOW

Here's the part where my feelings have become mixed. Up to the point where Makoto confronts their mother, I would've said the story is around 8/10. The art style was simplistic at times and maybe had chibis too often for parts where I wanted more emotive faces as characters talked, but overall I still enjoyed it.

But after the heartbreak of Ryuji confessing to Makoto, then the make-up on the Ferris wheel, it just feels like Ryuji's emotions got brushed aside. It was as if it never happened between him and Makoto. Which was VERY upsetting for me. I've never had 2nd lead syndrome so bad that I cried at the end of the story when I realized that there wasn't going to be more of a resolution or a separate happy ending for him. It still gets me choked up just thinking about it. I HATE it when there is a really decent guy who likes the MC and he does everything and because he's "not special enough", he ends up alone. Which doesn't seem fair to Ryuji or Saki.

Because Saki is such a sweet girl. She deserves love and kindness and I really wanted her to be happy. But she ends up being in love with Makoto as she originally confessed to. And that hurt me too. I desperately wanted to see a story where an aroace person can have a happy ending just being by herself. I really thought she was leaning towards that. I wanted to see some representation for someone like me. But it looks like that like all other stories. romance has to be the most important part of life for Saki. It may be simplistic for me to say, but Saki's romantic feelings for Makoto and Makoto reciprocating those feelings is what pushed Saki to start choosing for herself. She didn't feel inspired to choose to keep living with her grandmother instead of with either of her parents until Makoto confessed and she decided to finally do something about romance first.

I'm starting to ramble here I think. But it's hard to emphasize why it affected me.

END OF SPOILERS

tl;dr: Senpai is an Otokonoko is more of a story centered on characters than romance. As Makoto navigates school and interacts with Saki, they slowly learn what it is to express themselves and be accepted. Ryuji provides a nice contrast as someone more level-headed than Saki's more bubbly nature, but they both hold complex feelings over romantic love which creates an interesting love triangle. Makoto's growth as a character is really sweet and you always want to root for them. While the art style is a little lacking, the character dialogue does well to liven up the story and there's multiple times I smiled or cried over the writing. If you are looking for a story with character drama and a coming of age, this story is for you.