Have you ever hated an anime for how much it draws you in and makes you want to keep watching? Usually I would love a show for being able to do that, but with Nana, I hated that about it. I hated it because after almost every single episode, I was left with a sad feeling, but in my heart the only cure was not to drop it, but to carry on until the end to find out what happens to the characters. I physically couldn't leave the characters alone. Watching this was like the Black Stone cigarettes that BLAST was addicted to.

I don't like watching dark shows these days because I don't like feeling negative because of TV shows, but I didn't know Nana was going to be THAT dark. But once I'd started it I couldn't get enough of it.

That's all I want to say to those who haven't watched it. The rest of this review will have (anime only) spoilers, because my intention for this is to be an account of my retrospective thoughts rather than a structured review. I will write the things that stuck out to me the most; the main reasons why I felt like I said in the opening paragraph.

I'm not sure if I've ever felt the emotions of characters in an anime as much as in this show. I don't know if it's the OST, the long length, the visuals, the character building, something else, or a mix of all of the above.

The first time I really felt that was when Hachi found out that Shoji was cheating on her. It made me cry unbearably. Why — hadn’t I already seen him cheat on her during the past few episodes?! I think it was just that she was such a well developed character (as with all the characters) that I unconsciously put myself in her shoes and genuinely felt what she would have been going through. Even during the hours after I finished the episode, in the shower etc, I felt sad, like when I go through something sad in real life like a break-up and my heart feels heavy.

Episode 17 was another episode where I could feel Hachi’s emotions inside my body. Her anticipating Ren noticing Nana during the concert really reflected my anticipation. I didn’t cry this time, but the whole atmosphere of the concert - the song, Reira’s vocals, the lighting - really made me feel something I don’t think I’ve ever felt while watching a work of fiction before.

But I think another factor to this is the character design. Let's look at Takumi. It's known that in media (and even classical paintings/literature) a way to make the viewer sympathise with the villain is to make them look extremely attractive. Look at Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7 for example, or Alexandre Cabanel’s “The Fallen Angel” painting. But I don't play Final Fantasy 7 having a life crisis because Sephiroth is hot and I want to side with him, because I hardly find it easy to side with someone who wants to destroy the whole planet. But if you put a man that looks like Sephiroth in a relatable, everyday world, and make him more 3-dimensional like he could exist in real life, the conflicted feeling between being on the protagonist's side and the villain's side becomes harder.

I hated his character so much because as a 17 (juu-nana) year old girl, whenever he would sweet talk Hachi it felt like he was sweet talking me through the screen. Sometimes I would have a little hope that he would actually be a nice person, but I hated whenever that thought cropped up because I didn't want to sympathise him at all.

Now let's look at the themes of this show. I thought the theme of friendship was so well done in this anime. Hachi initially being jealous that Nana likes Misato-chan more than her is so realistic and not something I've seen before, so I'm glad they covered that.

However, contrary to what I originally thought, as the show went on I came to believe the main theme of this show isn't friendship; it's loneliness. In episode 27, Hachi said that she only contacts Takumi when she is lonely, and at the same time in that episode, Reira suddenly contacted Shin to meet her. Later on it's explained that Reira used to like Takumi and he never liked her in that way, which made me think that Shin may be her coping mechanism. Not only this, but almost all of the characters come from broken homes. As a shoujo fan it was sad watching a show where love is presented in this way (as opposed to a romantic story about “true love”) but a well-needed life lesson.

After Hachi became pregnant from a man she had conflicted feelings about and Nana got cancelled before her band even debuted, I felt this anime also became about how achieving your dreams is not as linear or smooth-sailing as we believe when we’re young.

In conclusion, Nana was a deep, complex show that made me feel emotions towards fictional characters like never before. In Nana, Hachi admires Nana and wants to be like her. It’s funny because after watching this show, I admire the mangaka, Ai Yazawa, and want to be able to create beautiful works like she does.