Is there even a point to me reviewing the third season of Oshi no Ko? Besides tradition, I mean? I've spend the last couple years slandering this turd of a show to anyone willing to listen, and even I'm starting to get sick of it. What more is there to say about this shallow, laughably hypocritical thriller that claims to explore the dark side of the entertainment industry while perpetuating all its worst instincts anyway? At this point I risk being tedious and beating a dead horse just to feel morally superior, and that's a real shitty way to approach art, even art you viscerally dislike. I should really just let it go, stop watching and let the fans enjoy their slop in peace. And yet... man, there IS something about this show, isn't there? Something that keeps me coming back, despite all my complaints, curious to see what happens next. This show may be bad, but it's an interesting kind of bad, and that at least makes it worth discussing, if only to figure out how and where things went so catastrophically wrong. And season 3, in particular, has been a fascinating entry in Oshi no Ko's history, a turning point that I think will come to define people's opinions on this show when the dust finally settles a couple years down the line.

The story picks up a few months after season 2's cliffhanger ending, enough time for our star-crossed twins to be settling into their new roles. Aqua's a pretty in-demand young actor who seems pretty satisfied with giving up his revenge. Ruby's star is rising thanks to her perfectly stage-managed quirky personality, while her inner cynicism and rage continues growing. Kana, Akane, and everyone else are doing pretty well for themselves too. It's as nice and stable as anyone could possibly hope for in Oshi no Ko's world- which means, of course, it won't be long before everything comes crashing down, Aqua realizes that the murderer he was chasing isn't actually dead yet, and the overall scumminess of the industry pushes everyone into bad situations that blow that peaceful comfort wide open. By the season's end, Oshi no Ko's endgame has officially been set up; one way or another, the secrets and lies of Ai Hoshino will be dragged into the light. And no one, least of all her children, is ready for it.

I'm being vague to avoid spoilers here, but if there's one thing I do appreciate this season for, it's in how thoroughly it destroys any chance of the characters returning to normalcy. Oshi no Ko's murder mystery has taken a backseat for most of its run, but now it's finally in the forefront, and it fundamentally changes every character's standing in the show. By the season's end, everyone in the main cast has been torn away from the somewhat stable lives they were building, and it's clear there's no going back. That's exciting! That's tension! Even after Ai's murderer is brought to justice, none of them will be the people they used to be, for better or (mostly) worse. Aqua especially makes some really nasty choices here that mess up his relationships with the people around him, and as a Day 1 Aqua Hater, I could not be happier. Any time this shitty Light wannabe is having a bad time is the highlight of my day.

But of course, this is Oshi no Ko, and all my words of praise must come with five different disclaimers for how it fucked it up regardless. And what season 3 has made clear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that this show utterly failed Ruby as a character. Remember when we thought both twins would get equal booking as protagonists? Exploring different sides of the industry in parallel thematic arcs? Yeah, we all know by now that didn't happen and Aqua's had like ten times his sister's screentime at this point. Season 3 is the first time Ruby's been in the spotlight, and she's at least more entertaining to watch than Aqua. Her exaggerated public face contrasting with her inner disillusionment bordering on psychopathy is a million times more compelling than Aqua's cringey brooding. But there's only so much it can do to flesh her out into a real character after all this time, especially when it still spends so much time with Aqua as well.

Here's what I mean: there's a moment late in the season where Aqua does something really fucked up that completely turns Ruby against him. And it should be this wrenching, heartbreaking moment of a meaningful relationship being shattered. But all it does is highlight the fact that Aqua and Ruby really... don't have a relationship anymore. Ever since the prologue, they've interacted a total of maybe 5 times, and most of those were quick jokes without any real weight. Who are these two to each other anymore? Siblings? Strangers? Are they still affected by knowing they're both reincarnated? Shouldn't this be the most interesting, complicated relationship in the entire show? I mean, if we absolutely must pair up a former pedophile with the terminally ill teenager who was in love with him, why not let that be messy and complicated and interesting? But instead, we've gotten basically nothing, and thus this moment of grand betrayal doesn't feel like it's betraying much of anything. You might as well stab a blank piece of paper and pretend you just knifed your closest friend in the back.

The fact of the matter is, Oshi no Ko is just completely incapable of escaping Aqua's shadow. Yes, I know I say that with every review, but it's not my fault it keeps being true. Aka Akasaka is so in love with his little edgelord that it crowds out anything potentially interesting or compelling about the story he's set up. Ruby is robbed of her rightful role as co-protagonist and not allowed any time to grow into her own because the show would rather spend that time sucking Aqua's dick instead. Kana and Akane, whatever other accomplishments they have, are perpetually stuck in the orbit of the least compelling harem of the decade. There's a reason season 2's Lala Lai arc is widely regarded as the series at its best: it's the arc where Aqua is the least important factor in the story for once. And unsurprisingly, all of season 3's best moments are likewise light on his influence. The final double-length episode is centered on Sarina and Miyako's backstories, and they're genuinely moving! It's the most I've cared about any character in this show! But the second those flashbacks are over and Aqua gets involved again, all that interest dribbles away.

What's fascinating, though, is it feels like season 3 is trying to be more critical of Aqua for once. In the past, his scheming and desire for revenge have been framed to be cool and edgy, and it's just been insufferable. But when he slips back into the darkness this season, it suddenly feels much, much more self-loathing. Every time he tries to play the all-knowing manipulator with the situation dancing in the palm of his hand, he looks and sounds like he's thinking of blowing his brains out. He is suffering trying to play the asshole. And you know what? It's kind of compelling! After happily playing the brooding badass for so long, his taste of normal life has made him realize what a miserable role it is to fill. He's a broken man pushing away the people who care about him, hypocritically trying to spare them from the misery he gleefully inflicts upon himself. That is so much more interesting than treating him as a Lelouch figure. And if Oshi no Ko had been willing to acknowledge his flaws from the start and build his character around them, it would've been a far superior show.

Sadly, even this well-intentioned effort is only a half-measure. Oshi no Ko is still Oshi no Ko, and it can't help but glaze Aqua to high heaven even as it's trying to highlight his cracks. There's a scene in episode 2 that's literally just two straight minutes of Akane's internal monologue talking about what a Wonderful Super Awesome Boyfriend Aqua is, and I swear I almost threw up in my mouth listening to it. It's unbearably cringe. But at least she gets off better than Kana, who at this point only exists to be put in physical or emotional peril so Aqua can swoop in and save her yet again. And to add insult to injury, there's a moment where it feels like it's actually trying to address that; Kana gives herself this big pep talk about standing up for herself and not relying on Aqua to fix all her problems anymore, because she's strong enough to take control of her own life and protect herself! ...and then the very next episode Aqua swoops in to fix all her problems anyway.

I swear, this show feels like a parody of itself sometimes.

But at this point, I've long since stopped expecting any better. Why should I scream and stomp my feet at Oshi no Ko doing what it's always done? I know how this show operates by now: it talks a huge game about Lies and Truth and The Entertainment Industry but is too chickenshit to say anything actually meaningful. So we get a subplot about sexual harassment in the cosplay scene by people who take skimpy outfits as an excuse to degrade the women wearing them, but it's all swept under the rug with a cheap "Everyone Learns a Lesson" type of ending. Ditto a scumbag director who offers roles to any actress desperate enough to sleep with him, but ultimately is presented as Not Really Such a Bad Guy. In the past I'd have more righteous anger for stuff like that, but now? It's all par for the course. Just more evidence that this show is, and has always been, a cheap approximation of "depth" that indulges in all the toxic practices it pretends to criticize. This is all Oshi no Ko is, and all it will ever be. There's nothing left it can do to surprise me.

Well, there is something. One final, glorious trainwreck that would turn Oshi no Ko's final season from an obligatory snooze into an all-time iconic disaster. And judging by the cackle-inducing midpoint of the final episode, it seems like this adaptation is, in fact, planning to follow the manga's footsteps toward this catastrophic conclusion. So you know what? Fuck it. I'm all in. I want to see this thing crash and burn so spectacularly you can see the impact crater from the moon. Oshi no Ko may not be a good show, but now that the fires of my anger have dimmed enough, I can at least acknowledge that it's an entertaining show. And if it fumbles this landing hard enough, then perhaps the sheer joy of watching such a massive trainwreck unfold before my eyes will make the whole miserable experience worth it after all.