My first contact with this work was over five years ago. I was still a carefree high schooler, and the world seemed to stand still for obvious reasons. Being as naïve as I was, I looked for something that would completely blow my mind and turn my worldview upside down. I may have been somewhat let down by what Evangelion turned out to be. Sure, I watched everything in a short amount of time and gave it a high rating, but I didn’t really “live” with what I had seen. Moving forward to the present, something has been drawing me back to revisit what I should have long forgotten. That inner voice, unfulfilled for so many years, could finally be sated by what it means to be human and to understand life.

Neon Genesis Evangelion, first released in 1995, is now widely regarded as a cult classic that changed the history of Japanese animation. Created and directed by Hideaki Anno, it continues to influence cultural circles to this day. Studio Gainax (R.I.P) was responsible for the animation and helped establish its lasting legacy within the anime industry. I believe that calling Evangelion just a “good show” doesn't do it the justice it deserves. For many, it was the beginning of a newfound passion.

Shinji Ikari is a normal teenager. He is sent into the center of the conflict by order of his long-absent father. Along with others, Shinji is forced to fight the Angels. That’s all you need to know about NGE for it to spark your interest. Its specific intrigues are secondary. One fundamental question remains: why does it work? Why does a story that sounds so cliché succeed so effectively? The answer lies indirectly in the structure of the anime, which clearly separates the first half of Evangelion, where battles with Angels take center stage, from the second half, where the focus shifts toward the psyche, motivations, and inner worlds of the characters. These inner states are sometimes exposed brutally and without restraint. Desires, obsessions, insecurities, fear, and loneliness are brought into the open. We are presented with a wide range of human emotions across different stages of life and become witnesses to feelings triggered by a variety of circumstances. The entirety of Evangelion is layered with religious symbolism, drastic scenes, omissions, and awkward silences, all of which deepen its already heavy atmosphere. Why had no one thought of this before? To tell a story about young characters meant to be heroes, and then twist it into something deeply psychological and realistic, is something anyone could attempt. And yet it had to be NGE, and thank God for executing it perfectly.

Episodes 1-13 serve as the first bite of a forbidden fruit. We feel that something is wrong, but we cannot quite pinpoint what. At the same time, we are fascinated by its slightly rotten taste with a hint of sweetness, and we continue to consume it nonetheless. Episode 14 marks a turning point. The rot begins to take effect, but at this point, we can no longer stop. Episodes 15-26 follow, and we have now consumed the entire fruit. The taste becomes unbearable. Eventually, something begins to click. We are witnesses to a catharsis, either in the form of accepting the disturbing taste, or rejecting what has been served to us and demanding something new that suppresses and replaces it. Thankfully, there is another fruit like that. Though, End of Evangelion is a topic for another time. Now I’d like to explain why I have come to appreciate and accept this clarity of atrocity.

Anime is a medium that allows it to be evaluated from many different aspects. I mostly focus on storytelling, but when it comes to Evangelion, I cannot ignore its audiovisual elements. The soundtrack is top-tier. Everyone knows the opening, everyone knows the ending, we all love them. They tie the episodes together into something exceptionally beautiful. The individual OST tracks are also memorable and fitting. I absolutely adore the visual style of NGE. The backgrounds are stunning, characters distinctive, heavy weaponry and EVAs striking. The animation itself is a masterpiece. Some action scenes remain impressive even by today’s standards. Now and then, you can catch signs of limited budget, especially toward the end, but it doesn’t significantly affect the overall reception of the series. I believe that where Evangelion shines, it does so with grace, making it fully worthy of admiration.

What I love most about Neon Genesis Evangelion is its human element. Shinji is not a hero. He does not act out of noble motives, but out of a desire to be seen and to compensate for his shortcomings. Most importantly, he is not a character first, he is a human being. You can also see this in: Misato, Rei, Asuka, Kaji, Gendou and Akagi. They are all human beings with their human needs. They hurt each other, seek support in one another, hate each other, depend on each other, desire each other and reject each other. Love, hate, fear, pride, sadness, excitement, lust, obsession, longing, anger, disgust, helplessness, fulfillment, joy. These emotions define what it means to be human. It is impossible to clearly define which of them are “good” and which are “bad”. They are us, and we are them. Sometimes we rule over them, other times, we are ruled by them. I love this approach to humanity. I love the feeling of life itself, because it is the source of everything. It is Me, You, Us, Them, Our senses, Ourselves in the eyes of Others, Others in Our eyes. It is love, hope, blessing, hate, fear, suffering. Everything is life. Life is life. A human is life. Death is life. Life is an infinite source of human possibility, and Evangelion is one of its clearest expressions. It is a love letter to life, to humanity, to itself, and to others. I don’t agree with the idea of merging all human hearts into one, but I am fascinated by it. I want it, but I also fear it. Still, I accept it all.

I accept my feelings. I accept my suffering. I accept my joy. I accept being hurt. I accept love. I accept myself. I accept my death. I accept my life. Neon Genesis Evangelion is a masterpiece. I feel a sense of emptiness after its ending, and I accept that too. Take care of yourself, and congratulations!