I believe that a person will be able to tell whether they will love Himegoto from the moment they read its AniList description (which you should read now if you haven’t). It is a premise that immediately calls out to its target audience, and if you’re like me you’ll be screaming “Oh my God I need this NOW” at every line. If this is you, drop this review and start reading it now, I can already guarantee you will love it. There’s no cause for worry if you don’t have that instant personal connection though, because Himegoto is an excellent manga that can stand on its own merits.
“There are two worlds, that’s what allows us to live healthy lives. Two completely separate worlds.”
Himegoto: Juukyuusai no Seifuku is Bokura no Hentai meets Kuzu no Honkai in college. It is a story about gender and sexual desire, but more fundamentally it is a story about secrets. Himegoto is about the parts of ourselves we shamefully keep hidden from society, the parts of us that we feel the need to satisfy in order to breathe, the parts of us that make up a separate world, never to see the light of day. Each of the three main characters has a secret, and each will often make terrible but very human life decisions because of it. And as the subtitle “Juukyuusai no Seifuku” implies, the centerpiece of all of this is the female school uniform, fully explored in its meaning to our college age protagonists as a symbol of youth, innocence, value, and femininity.
The three main characters of the story—Yuki, Mikako, and Kaito—all have distinctly different issues. But they are also constructed such that their traits result in each possible pair of the three bringing a unique dynamic to the table. Yuki and Kaito are gender foils: Yuki is a naturally tomboyish woman who wants to express her feminine side but finds it difficult to do so, while Kaito is a trans woman (or crossdresser depending on your interpretation) who holds disdain for her own male traits. For Mikako, who indulges her sexual “dirty” side, the purehearted Yuki seems to fulfill some sort of need for her that she does not quite understand, yet can’t seem to satisfy her whole self. Both Mikako and Kaito cling to the final traces of their youth, but for different reasons. And as the story develops, many more details are introduced that add additional nuances to these relationships.
Put the events of Himegoto on paper, and the story seems like a total mess. It frequently breaks two unspoken rules of good writing: avoid misunderstandings and avoid coincidences. But while the story seems messy, it’s surprisingly tight in that every situation that the characters pull themselves into shines a new light on some aspect of them or changes up their dynamics. Very little is wasted. Even when you have a misunderstanding plot going on, the misunderstanding intersects with the different goals of the characters and leads them to complicate things further by actively taking actions to try and manipulate the situation in their favour. There is a lot that goes on in the little details behind what the characters say and how they interact with each other, and while reading I found myself constantly messaging my friend to share the things I picked up on or to unpack aspects of the characters. You don’t have to be a character analyst to enjoy Himegoto though, as many of these aspects become quite clear by the end, but while rereading I still notice new details, sometimes only after reading a chapter multiple times.
While the weaknesses of the plot writing are often smoothed over by its results, a few caveats still stand. One that is particularly worth mentioning is its inconsistent treatment of sexual assault. Sexual assault is treated fully seriously at some points in the story, but there are also incidents where characters do things that would be regarded by anyone as sexual assault and yet are brushed aside afterwards. This leads to a rather ill-conceived scene where Character A comforts Character B after the latter had just experienced attempted rape, despite having forcefully groped her a volume ago. It's not enough to ruin the story for me, but it is something worth being aware of if you plan on reading it.
One of the key strengths of Himegoto is how human the characters feel. Their personalities are very much larger-than-life, but their problems they face, the sentiments they hold, and the ways they react to their situations are fundamentally grounded in human feelings. They don’t fit into neat character archetypes or idealized portrayals of their issues, but instead are messy and complex in human ways. And importantly, their growth is incredibly human too. The characters don’t follow neat and smooth arcs where they gradually improve or get worse and then get better. They don’t turn into fixers for each other’s problems. Instead, they are constantly backsliding and changing the ways in which they cope with their issues. And the eventual resolution highlights the central idea of this story (implicit thematic spoilers, no details):
Himegoto is a manga that could have easily been a dumpster fire, but it is a testament to Minenami’s stellar character writing and presentation that made it work so well. The story is a rollercoaster that will have you constantly clutching your head at every new messed up turn of events, and yet manages to do so with such earnestness and care that it never feels like the author has lost their grip on the work. For me, it was an incredibly personal journey, not for a specific character, but for the myriad ways in which all three main characters touched upon and explored things about myself. And I am so glad that it exists.
EDIT: Gender marker for author changed to neutral due to conflicting info (official localisation of Boy's Abyss says male, JP wikipedia says female, although source is not given)
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