This review contains spoilers.

I did not expect to see an instalment of the Goblin Slayer franchise that is even lazier and more devoid of life than the TV series, yet here we are; witnessing a movie that begins with an approximately 25-minute recap combined with a voice-over narration from one of the characters. Of course, the scenes this movie decided to show us once again are only the most crucial moments, like the infamous rape scene from the first episode, the Elf character almost being raped, and Priestess lying naked beside Goblin Slayer. I am sincerely thankful for bestowing on me the opportunity to see these scenes for a second time. Without the said summary, I would unquestionably forget what every female character in this series boils down to; tits and rape. The movie reminds me of that yet again, merely 5 minutes after the recap, by implementing a tedious bath scene. Yeah.

As this instalment labels itself as a movie, I was eager to see improvements in the production values, yet, to my immediate realisation, there is no positive change to be found here. In my write-up of the original, I was a tad lenient on the art style in comparison to others though showed my immense disdain regarding the CGI, to sort of balance things out. Goblin's Crown suffers from the same issues as far as the visuals go, and that is all I can say about that. There was and still is no personality or uniqueness when it comes to the art style, and the CGI is as wretched as ever. We can quickly spot it whenever an action scene takes place, and be delighted by the sight of appalling animation, horrendous camera movements and uninspired colour pallet. Naturally, Goblin Slayer still looks like a walking-talking trash bin whenever he is on the screen. He and various goblins effectively ruin anything resembling tension or excitement with their horrendous CGI bodies, armour pieces and blood. Lovely.

The same absence of development applies to the cast. Over the course of 60 minutes, we learn nothing extra about the main characters, and we meet new folks who are either killed on the spot for the sweet shock value or given the most basic personality and purposes. Ah yes, there is nothing more satisfying than seeing an individual whose entire character amounts to having flashbacks and mental breakdowns so unconvincing, that it is unbearable to watch. For instance, at one moment the main new girl remembers all the nasty and deplorable stuff that happened to her, and a second later she is all good because Goblin Slayer muttered something about killing every single goblin. So motivational! In the bargain, we can sum up the plot of Goblin's Crown in one, compact sentence. Find the girl, dump irrelevant exposition about a God of some sort on the viewer's head, show raped women, kill goblins and jerk off to the Goblin Slayer's amazingness. It is that simple, yet has as much entertainment value as a funeral.

And you know what? It ultimately does not matter. As much as I loathe the TV series, at the very least it knew how to hold my attention and maintain my interest in it. This movie, on the other hand, feels like something so insignificant and meaningless, I was bored to tears through and through. It made me bloody exhausted, and that is all there is to it.