Alright, alright, I'm back from my overly long break to finally review some more anime. This is also the last garbage meme I'll review before going on to some more serious (and, should I say, worthy) material.

And wow. Just wow. With Utsu Musume Sayuri, we're in for an experience. Screw my usual no spoilers review policy (this shit is 3 minutes long after all).

The number one rule of watching Utsu Musume Sayuri is do not watch Utsu Musume Sayuri. The number two rule is do not, under any circumstance, watch Utsu Musume Sayuri.

Like, what is the point of this? Why was it even made?

So that you can understand the magnitude of this disaster, I'll explain. Utsu Musume Sayuri is roughly divided in 3 parts.
The first half or so is clearly intended to be as WTF-inducing as possible, and presents the... uh... characters? Nah, I'm being too generous. It presents the... things that are on the screen. It tries way too hard and desperately to be as weird as possible in a pathetic attempt to grab attention, but with the flat, emotionless narration I couldn't be bothered to care, so I wasn't as much shocked as I was bored. Yes, yes, deformed designs, the father was inside Sayuri's head or something, wow, shocking, I don't care, please get me out of this. And no, the narration doesn't really say anything worthwhile. "This gotta be Sayuri". If you say so...
The second part is where shit really hits the fan, as Utsu Mayume Sayuri just downright turns into hentai. Yeah, it's one of those. There's a round of ass fingering and one of ass spanking. It's as gross as you can imagine. In fact, all the... things shown in the first part, considering their bizarre, non-sensical designs and positions, they are implied to be participating in the world's worst animated orgy ever.
And I dare you guess what the last 30 seconds are. Exposition. Backstory. No, I'm not kidding. There's a slide presentation with backstory about Sayuri's mother, which raises one, very interesting question.

Who cares???

There isn't a single aspect in which Utsu Musume Sayuri isn't the worst. In a sense, it's so simple and short that there's nothing to analyze here. There's what I'd call a proto-story, or a timeline of some sort, that not a single human being in this godforsaken planet could be bothered to care about (clearly including the creators themselves). There's sound, strictly speaking, mostly the aforementioned emotionless voice, some bad whisper effects (for emphasis? I think I'm trying to make too much sense of this), and sound effects likely ripped from some copyright-free library at their minimum quality. Animation? Horrendous, amateurish, trash.

Utsu Musume Sayuri is PTSD-inducing. I'd rather be hanged upside down in the ceiling of an abandoned basement while a bunch of starving piranhas try to bite my nose than rewatch this shit. I'd rather have to fight a swarm of heat-seeking killer wasps than to rewatch this shit. I'd rather do cord-less bungee jumping than to rewatch this shit.

Why would anyone waste who knows how much time on making this trash is beyond me. Do yourself a favor and pass. Follow the two rules above and you'll be save.

Veredict: -1/100. Utsu Musume Sayuri is an insult to the viewer's sanity. I'll even bump the score for Mars of Destruction if needed. Fuck this (literally, I guess). I'm done.