I don't read synopses or reviews or take recommendations (often). This manga I decided to read because it was a josei and looked artistic (idk, just my type ig. Don't worry I'm also current on One Piece lol). Not sure if this is an unusual thing to do, but it's what I tend to do. (Is it hypocritical that I'm writing a review then? Maybe...)

As I was reading it, I didn't realize it was an autobiography until many chapters in...and that drastically warped my perspective. Our lovely MC became more real to me (because she is real) and extremely relatable as a result. As someone who isn't exactly young anymore (cough late 20s) the nostalgia not only touched my heart but sucker punched me in both the tear ducts and cardiovascular system (heart strangled a little). Looking back on our teenage selves is a trial, the awkwardness, the hopefulness, the stupidity that can only be realized much later on- she encapsulated those aspects of growing up masterfully.

I wonder if most of us look back on our life in stages that resemble chapters of a book. She was able to splice down different aspects of her life into seamless periods that made sense as an intriguing story and not just a bland retelling. I could feel her passion for her art, the pain of making hard decisions, and the regret filled nostalgia of recounting past mistakes. This was not a manga where I had to remind myself to concentrate, I could only binge read it and pause to wipe my eyes.

I would like to say that autobiographical manga is woefully underappreciated- Barefoot Gen (the anime movies are also incredible for those who prefer anime), Rainbow, etc. They have an aura unlike fiction and are worth a read for those interested. Also, Josei tends to skew mature in it's themes and have realistic characters in general (showa genroku rakugo shinjuu, Paradise Kiss, etc). Some of my favorite works so I wanted to highlight them along with this review. The demographic and genres of this story revealed the depth of the work.

To end off my thoughts on Kakukaku Shikajika: this was the letter that she wished she had written to her sensei as a teenager to thank him for all of his unwavering support. And it's the fallible humanness in all of us that it came to be after he had passed. This manga is a reminder to us all to remember to thank those who have impacted our lives in both simple, complicated and beautiful ways. And also that sometimes our actions of love aren't felt until much later.

I'm going to leave it at that as I'm writing this at work and I'm starting to tear up. This one will remain on my mind for quite some time and I hope others will give it a chance. I'm off to read more manga that will emotionally wreck me, toodles.