This review was originally supposed to be much longer, but I know hardly anyone will read it, so what the fuck’s the point? It’s time to stop the posturing — I don’t need a plot summary, I don’t need to go into Steel Ball Run’s relation to the rest of the series. Pretend as I may that my reviews matter to others, they don’t. The reality is that my reviews are ultimately for me.

So let’s skip the bullshit and get down to brass tacks.

Like virtually every work, Steel Ball Run isn’t perfect. There are numerous things it does poorly. Araki struggled with juggling a full cast of protagonists when Stardust Crusaders made its debut in 1989 and fifteen years later, that struggle continues. Characters such as Poco Loco and Sandman are given interesting backgrounds and elaborate introductions only to be brushed aside. Sandman started the whole damn part with a sympathetic and interesting background but he was promptly killed after being revealed as chapter whatever’s “monster-of-the-week” and amounted to nothing more but a stepping ladder for the development of Tusk. He’s one of the most disappointing characters of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and his treatment doesn’t sit right with me.

Funny Valentine is more interesting as a concept than a character. He’s interesting in that your thoughts towards him, how much you hate him, and indeed, if you think he’s justified, unintentionally say a lot about who you are as a person and what you think of imperialism. That said, his character itself is a bit of a nothing burger and his identity as the imperialist president who puts his country first at the expense of others could have been grafted onto literally anyone else to either the same or better effect. He’s certainly better than Kars and arguably Diavolo but he ain’t no Kira nor DIO. He’s either tied with Pucci or ranked just below him for me.

There are some things that Steel Ball Run straight-up does badly. This part marks the series’ shift from shonen to seinen. As far as I can tell, the only big difference is that the seinen publication allowed Araki to get away with a lot more weird sex shit. 14-year old Lucy Steele is the most prominent female character and the way she’s treated in the story is odd, to say the least. While she ultimately gets the final kill, she’s primarily used as a damsel in distress where she is subjected to kidnapping, getting pregnant with the MacGuffin, being forced to flee her assailant almost naked, and not one but two rape attempts. I really didn’t appreciate the way she was used. It just became exhausting and weirdly voyeuristic.

There are naturally, things that Steel Ball Run does well, great, even. It’s often cited as Araki’s magnum opus as a reason. The way Stands are implemented — being more mysterious and ominous than ever before — and the creative fights are just a few of Steel Ball Run’s strengths.

But that’s not what grabbed me.

Since I started watching it in 2021, even at its best, I always considered JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure a “turn your brain off” series. It’s not like Steel Ball Run did a complete 180 in that regard — more often than not, it’s just goofy fun. As much as you can analyze the significance of these characters hunting for Jesus Christ’s corpse to obtain ultimate power, they’re still hunting for Jesus Christ’s corpse to obtain ultimate power. Like Part 5, Araki gives the Big Bad the “Fuck You” Stand, so to beat them, Araki is forced to give the protagonist the “Fuck You +1” Stand.

Yet what Steel Ball Run does do is put in more character work than ever before seen in the series. Johnny Joestar’s life backstory, the guilt and self-loathing he deals with feels real in a way others don’t. The same can be said for Gyro’s sense of honor and justice clashing with his sense of duty. We’ve gotten backstories before, but this is the first time backstories have been revisited, this is the first time backstories feel like they continually inform the way characters behave in the present. Golden Wind featured pretty detailed backstories for every damn main character not-named-Trish but they very much were used only to establish the character before never being referenced again. It’s different here and it makes Gyro and Johnny feel, for a lack of a better word, real.

I admittedly don’t think Gyro and Johnny contrast as much as others may imply, but they do make for a good pair and I believe in their bond. Gyro’s death was heartwrenching, yet not overly dramatic. He and Johnny had a hell of a ride and I think “Last Train Home” fits Johnny’s trek with his friend’s casket just as well if not more than Joseph, Polnareff, and Jotaro’s departure at the end of Stardust Crusaders.

But that’s not what got to me.

What got to me was Johnny’s father showing up at the end of the Steel Ball Run race. In tears, he apologized for treating his son so badly, for warping his sense of self-worth as horribly as he did. My own words don’t do the quote the justice it deserves.

“I’ve come here because I’ve treated my own child horribly for years and years. And the whole time up until now, I never realized that cruelty. I know that apologizing isn’t enough to make up for scarring my child’s heart. But that… is something I finally now have come to realize. My child’s name is Johnny Joestar. He crossed from the far-off West coast all the way across the continent. All by himself. And now! Here! He’s finally made it to New York..”

And just typing it, just paraphrasing it fucks me up all over again. It puts everything into perspective, and wraps everything up. Johnny didn’t need to win the race; he got everything he needed. And it hits harder because you know he never have done it alone

Is this Araki’s magnum opus? I don’t know. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what that means, what that entails. All I know is that this affected me in a way that no other JoJo part did, in a way that few stories do. And that’s enough to make it my favorite part, as basic as an opinion as that may be.