Name: still my biggest disappointment
Item: Gunjou
Rating: 40
Author: bortacina

still my biggest disappointment · Waifora

I've read this years ago but I'm that petty and there will be some spoilers ahead...

~Plot~

At first glance, the story is so interesting. Soko, who is the main character, has a not so great past, family issues and definitely a terrible husband. She has an abusive husband and at one point she just can't take it anymore and asks for help. And of course she gets help from none other than your local insecure lesbian, Chiyomi. Chiyomi is an old friend of hers and it is very obvious that she was in love with Soko. Knowing this, Soko uses Chiyomi to try to save herself from her miserable life. Like I said, the plot is very interesting and there's nothing I love more than two lovers killing the abusive husband and running off together. However, the story sadly isn't just about this

~Problems~

Everything starts to get worse after Chiyomi kills Soko's husband. There are just so many things wrong with Chiyomi that I geniuenly don't know where to start. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting to see a normal relationship in this manga and I was actually into the toxic relationship they had. But the execution of this was not for me.

Spoiler, click to view

- First of all, Chiyomi, a lesbian that had partners before, thinks she lost her virginity when she has sex with a random dude... What's more, she also thinks she's not enough to give pleasure to Soko because she doesn't have a dick. She says that when they're having sex. People can internalize homophobia and insecurity, I get that but I felt like it was handled so clumsily.

Then there’s how Chiyomi is portrayed overall: she’s shown as this predator who can’t control herself around Soko, to the point that—if I remember correctly—there was a non-consensual moment between them. It plays into every harmful stereotype: the oversexualized, desperate, obsessive, unstable lesbian... This was the biggest problem for me and made no sense to me. Genuinely felt unncessary. Maybe I’m too sensitive about this stuff, but as someone who wanted to like the twistedness of their relationship, it just felt cheap and I guess out of character?

~Anything good to say?~~

I actually liked the visuals. The art wasn't perfect but it was very unique and pretty, in my opinion.

~Overall~

The plot is very interesting so it's a shame that Nakamura decided to go this way with the story. I wasn't expecting any sort of happy ending to begin with but overall, this just wasn't for me. Mainly because I couldn’t care less about the characters at some point. Their emotions felt hollow and their motivations inconsistent... I really wanted to like this manga but I couldn't. Despite its promising plot, the problems I've discussed ultimately prevented me from fully connecting and engaging with the story.