Well I'm finally reviewing the first film in the series here. I would like to start by saying that the heavy spoilers will indeed be marked. First off , this film wasn't quite what I had expected and I mean that in both a good and a bad way. It is good that it somewhat subverted my expectations but it is not necessarily good with exactly how it did so. While I of course had expected the love triangle between Madoka , Kyosuke and Hikaru to be resolved in the way it was yes I did not expect there to be this much drama and pain for all three of them. Hikaru in particular is in for a rude awakening in this film and although she certainly could be abrasive and obnoxious she was still a character that had endearing points and was lovable in her own way so I really ended up feeling pretty bad for her here. Now if you've seen the TV series and ova's you know that at this point when the first movie takes place

Spoiler, click to view

Kyosuke and Madoka are officially together

So at this point it has been a little bit since the ending of the TV series. Around this time Kyosuke and Madoka are concerned with exams and Hikaru is concerned with her upcoming play. Now it's been a few years since the begging of the series and these characters have truly truly bonded and become immensely close. Not only is Kyosuke in love with Madoka but he cares deeply for Hikaru and even at this point he has been yet unable to come out and tell her that while he cares for her he is indeed in love with Madoka. Hikaru is still under the impression Kyosuke is her " darling " and feelings are going to come to a boiling point here between the three and I will say it is NOT pretty what ends up happening. As Hikaru is visiting Kyosuke

Spoiler, click to view

he allows his tender feelings for her to get the best of him for a split second and allows her to kiss him. What's even worse is a while later Hikaru proudly brings this up to Madoka while unaware of the fact Madoka and Kyosuke are actually together.

Madoka confronts Kyosuke about what happened over the phone and breaks down sobbing and quivering while finally admitting the pain in her heart she had always tried to hide. The pain she feels trying to lie to herself and allow Hikaru to have Kyosuke. For years now Madoka had been lying to herself and telling herself it was ok if Kyosuke got with Hikaru but when faced with this she is at her breaking point and it's agonizing to see her like this. After this Kyosuke decides to not only tell Hikaru the truth which is that he indeed has always been in love with Madoka but what to me felt simply too cruel he decides to

Spoiler, click to view

try to break off his friendship and interactions with Hikaru completely. He at this point essentially shuns Hikaru and pushes her away. He won't tell her anything anymore , he won't pick up her calls and eventually he will not even look upon her and it's just utterly painful to watch.

Now here is where I would like to note the absence of the character Yuusaku. While it's true Yuusaku is mostly comic relief and is a butt monkey type character who's misfortune is often played for laughs it's also true that he was important enough to be included along the three mains in the second opening theme and has a number of centric episodes and plots that focus on his feelings for Hikaru. In fact one of these episodes his suffering is actually played mostly straight and we are meant to take it seriously that he may be considering hurting himself. According to the director Yuusaku was absent from the film because " the film focuses on the love triangle between the main characters " but in my opinion this was a big mistake and is my biggest complaint with the film. Yuusaku would be the perfect character to help the narrative as we see things from Hikaru's point of view as she comes to terms with the fact that Kyosuke does in fact love Madoka and that her feelings are unrequited. In fact at this time Madoka and Hikaru are drifting apart and Hikaru says something along the lines of " why does Kyousuke love you when you haven't done anything for him?! I would do anything for him! " To which Madoka scathingly replies " I suppose it can no longer be the three of us. "

Hikaru's words earlier show that now she is actually feeling exactly what Yuusaku felt every time he had to watch her with Kyosuke. Yuusaku who had been a childhood friend to her and Madoka , Yuusaku who had always sought after her and had to watch her madly in love with another boy for at least initially the pathetically shallow and simple reason he made a basket! When Hikaru says why does he like you when you've done nothing for him " this is literally exactly word for word what Yuusaku had been enduring all this time. The fact that the director didn't realize how important this could be from a narrative perspective to maybe have Hikaru at some point think something along the lines of " so this is how Yuusaku feels/felt " is very frustrating to me. Yuusaku at least needed a name drop in this film but instead we don't even know where he is. I just feel it was a wasted opportunity in which we could have Hikaru start to show more self awareness and empathy towards others especially towards male characters aside from Kyosuke. So for me while Yuusaku is certainly not the most important character his absence and the lack of even a simple mention are a giant plot hole and huge mistake from a narrative standpoint.

Perhaps one of the most painful scene in the film

Spoiler, click to view

is when Hikaru tries to come to Kyosuke's house only to be shunned. Kyosuke is trying his damndest to push Hikaru away and he ignores her and shoves her off of him. Hikaru is left out in the rain crying while Kyosuke goes to a coffee shop , gets a coffee and basically sits there as she is left outside in utter misery. Kyosuke cries into his drink and says " goodbye Hikaru. "

Finally as the film rolls around to it's end we reach a particularly sour note for me. Hikaru's play had been something everyone had been waiting for and was an extremely important event in her life where she wanted her best friend Madoka and her " darling " Kyosuke to be present. Instead here we are , their friendship essentially shattered and in broken pieces on the floor. As a final slap in the face

Spoiler, click to view

just as I was expecting things to finally finally turn around we see that Hikaru's play is going on and surprise surprise Kyosuke and EVEN Madoka are absent and have completely blown it off. What hurts the most here is this seems so out of character for Madoka but I guess they wanted to hammer home how much pain she had been in and that her and Kyosuke wanted to move on with their relationship.

Now I want to ask something about this film overall. This is a rhetorical question mostly but anyone who actually feels like providing their own opinion by all means drop me a message. What I want to ask is do you consider this realistic? What I mean is are the events here a realistic approach to what happens when friends drift apart and or when a love triangle is resolved and one person suffers? Personally I would say yes this is indeed a realistic approach. In fact it is painfully realistic and I cannot even call it bittersweet because Hikaru is just taking the hits so hard here. For me this movie while I found it of course to be incredibly engrossing was overall frustrating and painful to watch at times. To be blunt this movie ALMOST ruined the series for me and had it not been for the events of the second film which for me rectify everything that happened here I would have ended up finishing what ended up being one of my favorite anime series on a sour note. If you actually read this through to the end I want to thank you for your time and I implore you to go watch not just the film but the entire series. I will be writing my review of the second film and the climax of the series soon so please look forward to it.