I will preface this by saying this is not a real review, but rather a collection of disparate thoughts I had on this wonderful manga. Also, the score on the bottom is the default score left as is. I don't rate and give number values and I am not allowed to remove it despite my wishes. So I leave it as is.

So the tl;dr is essentially that I think this manga is incredible at captivating my emotions and giving such a great sense of the process of grief and loss. And using that and beyond that it gives the such a great sense of the anxieties, troubles, and differences among people that they hold. I lack the capacity to fully articulate why I felt that way reading this. But I can point to some specific parts of the manga that I wish to expand on.

The first is chapters 7-8. Seeing the way the manga opens up and shows the way Asa first handles her grief. Where she's not openly or heavily grieving. But it's clearly affected her and she's adjusting to her new life with her aunt and no parents mostly. Reading that reminded me of a thought I often have myself. Whether I would cry or really care if one of my close loved ones would die. I've had people around me die, but I've never had a super strong bond with them to have really grieved them myself. It was mostly just pangs of regret down the line when I think of them. But I've always wondered what if my parents died, how much would I care, would I cry? I could relate a lot to the early presentation of Asa's grief cause of this as she's still finding her way. But then with chapters 7-8 Asa finally shifts from adjusting to life with her aunt to returning to her school for graduation. Textually it's presented as her wanting a moment without her parents death hanging over her and others simply thinking of her as the girl with dead parents. But it also represents the first time she's forced to actually go back to regular life and interacting with society at large. It finally hits her how real the loss of her parents is and everything comes crashing down on her releasing the emotions she kept. She lashes out in anger before breaking down in tears finally and then recognising the support she still has in her friend. Writing it out like this it feels like a very standard beat, but reading it made me cry and this is when I really realised this manga was going to be something.

Chapter 14 was also another standout one I thought. Having to now make decisions for herself with no feedback from her parents. Only to be paralysed by frustrating memories of their own views and differences but knowing that they still wouldnt be there. It was so well done and had some amazing sequences. Like the sequence where she's discussing clubs but then we get a flashback and it returns. It was so well executed and did a lot to just demonstrate those feelings of suffocation and frustrations but also sadness of not actually being able to have those interactions again. These following pages are a good showcase

and then a few pages later for the same scene we get another great sequence It's just the mangaka's sense of storytelling and knowing how to show it all is incredible. Without even explicitly spelling it out to the viewer there's so much emotion merely conveyed in the way the story is presented.

Chapter 23 is also another brilliant one I thought. By using the diary it humanises Asa's mom and shows us a glimpse at her own life and troubles. BUt all while Asa is trying to reconcile her own feelings and questioning the love of her own parents. Hard to fully put down into words the way I felt reading this chapter. I really liked seeing Asa's mom and how she contrasts with the characters we've seen so far and the image that was already put towards us from other characters. And then it ending with her professing love for Asa but asa being unable to reconcile it with her own grief addled mind. Honestly just re reading it brings me to tears.

This is then immediately followed up with two very good chapters of Asa running away and then Makio trying to find her again. The way it ends just always moves me to tears. With Asa finding relatability in the novel Makio writes and then just breaking in tears once again.

A lot of this manga can end up feeling very cyclic now that I write some about it and think on it. But it hardly feels repetitive while reading. And knowing the nature of grief it makes sense, its never just resolved suddenly. It comes and goes and thats shown so naturally in this manga. One of my favourite recurring threads is Asa's anxieties over whether her dad really ever loved her at all. He was a reserved person who never spoke much to her and others so Asa is just left with questions. It's a question that just keeps popping up within Asa that the story touches on and doesnt with chapters in between. It's a kind of anxiety I can relate to and Asa without ever being able to confront her ad would naturally always wonder. Another thing I loved was the way the manga presented Makio and her own grief in relation to her sister whom she hated. Shes incredibly resentful and it never goes away as it makes sense but you can get the sense of ti dulling as she learns mroe of her sister and starts to relate in a sense to raising Asa. And honestly even beyond the greta representation of grief that's where the manga truly shines. The connection and love and bond formed between Asa and Makio. It is incredibly touching and heartfelt.

Unfortunately it feels I've more described what happens in the manga than really reflected on what it did to make me feel a certain way. I'm not too smart when it comes to talking about stuff like this. But I find what really makes this manga work is Tomoko Yamashita's grasp at the art of comic books. She has such a great sense of storytelling and utilising this medium to tell her story. It's honestly just another example of the kinds of stories and art I love this medium for. Even beyond the pages I've posted, there's just a clear ability Yamashita shows in her comic booking that is a step above what I see from the average manga or comic. It just helps sell the impact of this story and characters.