Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu, or "The Dangers in My Heart" (abbreviated as Bokuyaba), has been one of the greatest surprises I've had in my over 15 years in the anime/manga industry. It's the unequivocal proof that, even though the industry may seem saturated with works featuring similar elements, genuine and refreshing stories can still be crafted to surprise and excite us, breaking away from the established conventions they impose upon themselves. In this case, we're talking about a romantic comedy of opposites attract, something we've seen numerous times within the genre. However, it stands out for being a touching, nostalgic, and precious story with authentic and real characters. It subtly explores the internal conflicts of a young heart in the midst of self-discovery.
Despite Bokuyaba being a RomCom at its essence, balancing equitably and fluidly between its romantic and comedic moments, that's just its surface layer. Once we delve into its deeper layers, we realize that besides being a beautiful and captivating story of youthful love, it's also a tale about the changes we undergo during one of the most complicated and turbulent times of our lives: adolescence. It's a change that manifests both physically—where we see our characters develop their bodies, grow taller, change their voices, as well as attempt to alter their physical appearance by losing weight or changing their look with a simple haircut—and mentally—where our characters mature, learn from their mistakes, face their insecurities, take on more responsibilities, become more aware of their surroundings, and always strive to better themselves. But above all, it's the emotional change where we discover our preferences and fall in love for the first time.
~~ Kyoutarou Ichikawa (our protagonist) realizing the signs of his physical growth as his voice changes.~~Bokuyaba portrays impeccably and convincingly how the feeling of adolescent first love is; the nerves we feel when we're with the person we like, the anxiety to see them again, smiling unconsciously when they talk to us, and blushing relatively easily. We try to act differently than we would with others because we want that person to see how great we can be, to make a great impression. Staying up late talking on the phone, worrying when several days pass without seeing them, feeling jealous when they're with someone else—there's a plethora of mixed emotions that confuse us and make us doubt. It's a reflection of the inexperience we have at that age.
But beyond that, Bokuyaba also focuses on something very important that most of these high school romance anime forget or omit, and that's the building of emotional bonds that go far beyond love. While love is the predominant feeling throughout the story and the main motivation for both characters, it's just the tip of the iceberg because Bokuyaba prioritizes building a relationship on foundations as important as trust, respect, and honesty between both parties, mutual understanding, being aware of each other's problems, being an emotional support in moments of fragility, having the patience to wait or listen carefully when the other wants to say something, and being able to empathize with their situation and try to help them in a selfless manner. It's a story that goes beyond simply showing sweet or cute interactions between the protagonists; it's a deep emotional connection that feels real and human.
~~ A powerful and heartfelt hug between our protagonists stemming from a moment of fragility and vulnerability where both can be honest with their feelings.~~All of this can be seen reflected in its two protagonists. On one side, we have Kyoutarou Ichikawa, a shy, reserved, short, and friendless boy. At first glance, Kyoutarou seems to be the typical lonely protagonist without any outstanding qualities. However, as we delve deeper into his character, we realize that he is much more multifaceted than he initially seems. Kyoutarou is quite withdrawn and dislikes socializing with people, but he doesn't hold back when expressing his dislikes, he prefers to blend into the background and not get involved in others' affairs, although he often acts impulsively to help his classmates, despite being quite intelligent, Kyoutarou struggles greatly with self-esteem issues stemming from his past and a negative event that marked him, making him even more insecure and fearful, creating a complex of inferiority, as well as self-hatred and disdain. Throughout the story, we will see Kyoutarou constantly having to confront these internal problems stemming from his past, while simultaneously discovering these new feelings gradually blossoming within him, such as falling in love for the first time. We will be witnesses to how both aspects conflict internally within his own mind, causing him to wonder and question how he should act or what step he should take next to confront these new emotions. However, it is through this that Kyoutarou, unlike the vast majority of protagonists we see in romantic comedies, will progressively change. As he interacts with his classmates and makes new friends, he will open up to the world, revealing his most intimate and human side, his unknown facets, his phobias, and quirks. But no matter how much Kyoutarou tries to change, he will often stumble, doubt, or make mistakes, he will thinks doing it wrong and regress, he will feel afraid of this change and what it might mean for him and the relationship he is building because maturing is a long process and a path full of curves where we will constantly see Kyoutarou searching for answers to these new stimuli he has never before experienced.
On the other hand, we have Anna Yamada, our co-protagonist and the romantic interest of our Kyoutarou. Anna is a box of surprises, a completely unpredictable and very expressive girl who is completely opposite to Kyoutarou; she is quite tall, cheerful, charismatic, and very sociable, although she may seem a bit clumsy at times. Additionally, she works as an actress and a magazine model. The first impression she may give off is that of the "ideal girl" that every man would like to have. However, as we get to know Anna from Kyoutarou's perspective, we realize quite the opposite, showing us an ordinary girl with her own problems and flaws. Anna is a girl who has been "forced" to act like an adult, to mature prematurely, and to have more responsibilities due to her work. But Anna is still a 14-year-old girl, emotionally very unstable, who cries relatively easily, feels useless for not being able to help, and thinks she's not a reliable person because of it. Since childhood, she has grown up with certain insecurities and frustrations, seeing that there was always someone better than her in everything she tried. She is afraid that the people closest to her will eventually hate her for who she is, presenting a wide range of internal issues that will be revealed through her dialogues and interactions. Bokuyaba shows us that both Anna and Kyoutarou, no matter how "different" they may seem from a superficial perspective, are much more alike than they imagine, and that idealizing someone based on their appearance or status without knowing that person is one of the greatest mistakes we can make.
The development of their relationship is fantastic because there is a sense of progression and continuity, where it's gratifying for the viewer to see both characters grow personally as their romantic relationship evolves. Many RomComs seem to "live in the moment," giving us episodes that only aim to show something cute and disconnected. In these anime, you could watch the episodes in non-chronological order, and the impact would be minimal because the characters would act the same, and only the "setting" would change. In contrast, in Bokuyaba, it's the opposite; there's a continuous progression where you can see how the characters grow closer and fall in love as they meet at school and talk daily.
At first, they are just classmates, having short and direct conversations, both maintaining a certain distance with minimal eye contact and no physical contact, displaying a much more formal and respectful attitude. Here, we won't see our protagonists walking home together in the first episode, let alone seeing the girl in a bikini at the protagonist's house after only speaking a few times at school. There's no sudden intimacy that arises overnight because Bokuyaba develops their relationship slowly but steadily. Our protagonists go through various phases in their relationship: they get to know each other, talk daily, and become friends. Trust and intimacy grow, they become more comfortable being together, grow closer, take more liberties, start to become curious about each other, a curiosity that gradually transforms into interest, they want to know more about each other, from interest comes attraction, and then, love.
It's a romantic construction where even the smallest details persist throughout the story and are extremely significant to the characters. A small bottle of milk tea that the boy gives to the girl to calm her in a moment of guilt will continue to be present as a decorative element in her room in the next episodes. A small gift like a keychain will become one of the most important and valuable objects for the character because of its meaning, becoming a kind of talisman that accompanies them everywhere throughout the series. The same goes for many dialogues and interactions that directly influence each other, many doubts that linger in the character's subconscious for several episodes, they will regret having done something wrong or question what they could have done better, he understands that he is in love but he doesn't know what the next step he has to take is.
~~ Akita Kenjirou and Akita Kentarou, 2 dog keychains that both protagonists carry matching, but more than simple keychains, they are objects that represent their emotional bond. ~~Furthermore, it's a relationship that feels incredibly organic and human because of the way both interact with each other. When one wants to say something to the other, the other patiently waits to listen. When one has doubts about doing something, the other encourages them to move forward so they can do it. It's a relationship that constantly feeds off each other; there's no "passive and active" dynamic. In Bokuyaba, both actively seek each other out to talk or simply spend time together. Both have moments where they go on the "offensive" or "defensive" by saying or doing something that surprises the other. They both gradually open up to show their most intimate and vulnerable sides, becoming more aware of each other's personal problems and trying to help each other move forward and overcome all the barriers they encounter along the way.
~~ At a moment when Kyoutarou is unsure about taking "the next step," Anna subtly "pushes" him forward with her words. ~~It's a relationship that grows like a plant, where you have to water it every day and protect it from possible external dangers. It has been cultivated with a lot of time, understanding, and patience, a progression that gradually unfolds without haste, where neither of the two characters wants to make a misstep. Obviously, many doubts arise along this path; as I mentioned earlier, their insecurities are constantly in conflict, the fear that everything they have built up to that point might fade away will be present. They are two teenagers experiencing love for the first time, but even so, Bokuyaba shows us straightforward writing that doesn't beat around the bush, where misunderstandings or situations of total "breakdown" between them are resolved in a mature and natural way, without the need to prolong the conflicts or enter into vicious circles that lead nowhere. These are two characters who, thanks to the honesty and trust they both feel for each other, and obviously, the courage they muster at that moment, can resolve their problems by talking about them directly.
Speaking of characters, in Bokuyaba, we have a cast of teenage characters who, incredibly, act like teenagers, where Norio has fantastically captured what the school environment is like at that age. It's not a story that drastically infantilizes its characters with the aim of making them "extremely pure," where we see 14-year-olds acting like 7 or 8-year-olds. Here, we see 14-year-olds acting like 14-year-olds. I mean, who hasn't made dirty or perverted jokes with their classmates? Exactly. In Bokuyaba, there's an excellent representation of everything that involves that school environment, both in groups of boys, where we see they are much noisier, unbearable, and more perverted, with hormones raging, liking to act "cool" in front of the girl they like, having a much rougher and prouder attitude, etc. As well as in groups of girls, where they have closer behaviors among themselves, more contact, take more liberties, are much quieter and less noisy, have much "sweeter and fluffier" interactions, etc.
But above all, what stands out most about the secondary characters of Bokuyaba is that they are an excellent complement to the story. Not because they really have any kind of individual development, but rather the opposite. They are an excellent supporting cast for what really matters: the main couple. Where the vast majority of anime would insert their secondary characters as "destructive" elements or ones that constantly intervene, unnecessarily prolonging things, creating misunderstandings, or hindering the progress of the relationship, here it's the opposite. We have a cast that, in addition to being excellently characterized with different personalities to give us a broader and more diverse comedy, helps the couple directly and indirectly. From the friends Kyoutarou makes during his school journey to the beloved Nigorikawa, who appears as a kind of alter ego of Kyoutarou in his introspective moments, as well as Anna's friends or her parents. But the ones that stand out the most are Kanna (Kyoutarou's sister) and Moeko (one of Anna's best friends), two characters who, although we don't know them in depth, manage to be endearing and beloved characters. Because both are aware of the situation between our protagonists and will show very noble gestures towards them. Instead of interrupting them, they will give them the private space they need by leaving them alone so they can talk or inventing an excuse for them to stay together. In moments where something stagnates or there are doubts, they will be the first ones there to push our couple to take the next step. The supporting characters in Bokuyaba are everything we need in a romantic comedy: charismatic and funny characters who, at the same time, don't steal the spotlight from our protagonists. And although many of them are aware of the situation between them, they don't interfere and give them the necessary time to flow and continue advancing their relationship at their own pace without feeling pressured or obligated to confess prematurely.
~~ An intimate conversation between brother and sister, where Kanna will help Kyoutarou realize what he really wants to do from now on. ~~Another thing I would like to talk about regarding Bokuyaba is the naturalness and expressiveness that the work has in all aspects. There are many school romance anime where you hear two characters having a conversation and you feel that deep down it's all very artificial. Let me explain; there are conversations where you hear one character and immediately hear the other, and you feel that what they are talking about is something "written by a scriptwriter," where the voice actors follow the script "to the letter," it's all very "robotic" and "plastic." In Bokuyaba, it's the complete opposite, and this is due to many factors involving direction. Here, the use of timing is masterfully handled, as well as fluidity and spontaneity in their conversations. Many times, one character is speaking and the other interrupts, or both talk about different things at the same time, they will also be surprised by each other's unexpected responses or actions, the rhythm and dynamics of their conversations are unpredictable. Here, we are not facing two characters "reading a script"; we are facing two "people" speaking naturally, and we see this reflected in their small everyday chats that often aren't even important to the story but are there. There are many times when both fall silent because they can't follow the thread of the conversation or run out of topics to talk, they stutter or overthink things, even going to say something but then regretting and retracting, showing gestures of nervousness or guilt, sweating in their hands, changing expressions on their faces, gesturing and body movements, sometimes moving their fingers or balancing their feet—gestures that speak louder than words-. It knows how to portray genuine feelings of discomfort and shame, convey powerful tension, and give us wonderful and unforgettable moments of emotional catharsis, all accompanied by fantastic voice acting from the seiyuus (mainly those of Anna and Kyoutarou) who have managed to immerse themselves so well in the characters that they know very well how to make a perfect intonation in their voices to transmit the essence and feelings of each scene.
Another notable aspect of this show is its production and adaptation. Although I consider the manga a must-read for every fan of the work since there is much more information about the characters and contextualization of all the subtext the story possesses, the adaptation it has received is masterful in every sense, providing a completely new experience with fantastic adaptation where they have managed to add small changes and details that often make the scenes more impactful or emotionally weighty. There are precious moments of intimacy and an appropriate pace for each situation to flow naturally, accompanied by a wonderfully orchestrated soundtrack by Kensuke Ushio, which perfectly captures the characters' feelings throughout the entire story. There are pieces for every type of situation, from ones that start with several instruments timidly playing out of sync but gradually try to connect to create a coherent sound and a melody that represents moments of approach and discovery of new feelings, we have melodies that are tranquil and friendly, with slower and more varied sounds for everyday moments, others that are soft and calm but maintain a certain degree of intensity for scenes of greater intimacy, and others that, although starting slowly, progressively escalate in intensity until they explode into a wonderful and powerful melody alongside the uncontrollable overflow of emotions from our protagonists. All of this is accompanied by real scenarios, fantastic art, and the use of lighting and colors that are often used as visual metaphors, where we see Anna being illuminated by a bright ray of light as a representation of the salvation Kyoutarou has found in her, creating unique and immersive atmospheres, with orange and reddish sunsets in more impulsive and overflowing scenes, and blueish evening skies in calmer and more contemplative scenes, all thanks to the direction of Akagi Hiroaki, who has known how to transmit the essence of the manga and its characters perfectly.
~~ The uncontrollable overflow of Anna's feelings in the form of tears in a powerfully emotional and moving scene. ~~Norio-sensei is a meticulous author like few I've seen, and this is reflected in Bokuyaba. The amount of subtext in the story is monumental, but unfortunately, very few people realize it. This is due to many factors regarding the translation. There's an immense amount of wordplay that is impossible to convey meaningfully in our language, several hints or "hidden" messages that go unnoticed by the audience, various actions where there are more intentions than it seems, the use of certain words and the misinterpretation that characters may have when hearing them, certain conversations that seem inconsequential but will gain relevance in the future, or that the characters will remember. It's one of these stories that you can watch over and over again, because, besides being a very dynamic and entertaining story, you gradually realize all these almost imperceptible details the first time you see it, details that greatly enrich the work on a personal level.
Bokuyaba is a story that keeps you on the edge of your seat for all 24 minutes of each episode, a rollercoaster of emotions that leaves you eagerly awaiting what will happen next, much like an action shounen would do, but not because it has frenetic action or epic moments, but rather because you want to see how the story unfolds, you want to see if the protagonists will be honest with their feelings, if they will be able to take the next step. Many times, the narrative itself will play with our anxiety and make us think that our protagonists will take a step back or cowardice at the last moment, or at least that will be our sensation for a few minutes. And just when we let our guard down, we'll see how our protagonists, with great courage and determination, take that step we've been eagerly awaiting, with powerful cathartic scenes where emotions are running high, beautifully orchestrated scenes that transport us directly into their world.
Personally, I have to admit that I quite like romantic comedies, but lately, I was feeling tired of seeing "more of the same." I mean, stories like Takagi-san, Nagatoro, Sono Bisque Doll, Sukinako, Komi-san, among others, are very nice, entertaining, and with some, I've even been moved. But I feel like they're missing something. Perhaps substance? Perhaps more credibility in their interactions? I'm not really sure what it could be, but Bokuyaba has shown me something completely different from all these romantic comedies. When I watch an episode of a romantic comedy and finish it, I'm left with the feeling that "it was a nice episode," but with Bokuyaba, I found myself saying every time I finished an episode, "this was truly beautiful and captivating." It has managed to awaken feelings that I thought had already died within me.
I could be writing for hours and hours about this work, but to not drag on any longer, to summarize my review: Bokuyaba is a teenage romance story that explores the conflicted and turbulent heart of adolescence. It's about change, growth, and maturity, about creating emotional bonds. It's a gripping, addictive, and captivating story that leaves us with a sense of nostalgia, with powerful personal messages and life lessons: learning to love and accept yourself. 10/10
