Content Warning: Flashing Lights, Misogyny, Nudity

Lupin III hardly needs any introduction. The characters are nearly universal in their popularity, and if you've seen even a single episode of Lupin III, you'll have all the backstory you need. Any Lupin III film should be a slam dunk. You've already got beloved characters and complex character dynamics already written for you. You just need to invent a fun mystery, outline a couple energetic action sequences, and if you're feeling generous, ensure that everyone has their "big moment."

And yet Lupin III: The Mystery of Mamo fumbles this, and it fumbles hard. It's a confused film, adapting and condensing a storyline from the Lupin III manga that's so tonally bizarre, it somehow feels out of place in a series with time travelers, aztec black hole generators, and a man who cuts planes in half daily.

Getting this out of the way first, the pacing is terrible. This film manages to feel glacially slow and breakneck at the same time. A prolonged argument that's repeating for the sixth time will get as much screen-time as an exciting action segment. You'll get a four minute long exposition dump that's ultimately pointless, followed by a two minute sequence that could have used four minutes of set-up. Out of all the Lupin III films I've seen, this one has dragged the most by far.

And a good bit of that frustration comes in the form of Mamo, our antagonist for the evening. Without spoiling too much, I cannot take this guy seriously at all. Not only does he look like a Dragon Ball villain reject, but every single reveal related to him feels like such bullshit. I know Lupin III is wacky. The second episode of the show involves a bulletproof magician. I get that. But Mamo raises the stakes so high that nothing has any impact. After the first half hour of "what the fuck??" comedy, you just feel numb.

Unfortunately, this sentiment influences every little bit of this film. There's a lot of weird, silly ideas here. Most of which I can't spoil. But you could make 10-15 good episodes of Lupin III off the ideas in Lupin III: The Mystery of Mamo. Which, honestly, makes the entire thing even more irritating. Instead of taking the time to explore all these wacky concepts, you get a mediocre movie which does none of them well instead. Yay!

This is the first Lupin III film ever, so you bet that they didn't decide to iron out the misogyny from the show. Maybe it's just that this is from the late 70's, or that Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro handled it so much better just a year later, but the sexism in it feels extra dated.

Fujiko is barely anything other than a sex object, and there's a series of shower scenes early in the film that are so over-animated compared to the rest of the movie, it's almost comical. She doesn't really do anything. Jigan and Goemon hate her, Lupin III tries to rape her, and the finale of the film has her kiss Lupin III while he pinches her nipple. I'm no prude when it comes to sexual content - Kakegurui is one of my favorite anime currently - but Lupin III: The Mystery of Mamo has that old gross cishet shmutz on the whole thing. These scenes don't exist because Fujiko is a flirty character, they exist because the directors/animators saw her as a sex object.

Perhaps the worst thing about the film is just how miserable everyone is. Unlike later films, everyone here hates each others guts. Lupin III likes Fujiko, Jigen hates Lupin III for liking her and tries to talk him down constantly, Goemon hates Lupin III for liking her, Fujiko dislikes everyone, Zenigata barely interacts with anyone, and it's just miserable. They're constantly getting into arguments, abandoning each other, threatening one another. It sucks.

I don't think having conflict in the group is a bad thing. Far from it. But it's frustrating to watch an hour and a half of bickering, no matter how much context there is. At the risk of sounding like an eight year old, I want Jigen to do cool things with his gun! I want Goemon to have some silly moments! I want Fujiko to do cool spy things! And I want Lupin III to smile and laugh and effortlessly be a fun thief! Having everyone hate each other all the time is exhausting, and I'm not watching a Lupin III film to watch Lupin's attraction to Fujiko tear the group apart. I want to watch them be thieves and steal things and argue a little but make up before the big heist.

To cut a rant short, everyone arguing all the time eats into the time they could be using for fun thief segments. And I don't think the arguments build to anything of worth.

Lupin III The Mystery of Mamo is a strange, confused, misogynistic, forgettable little film. It doesn't really go anywhere, the adventure isn't that fun, and after watching it I wished I'd just watched five episodes of the show instead.

Is it terrible? No, the baseline enjoyment I get from watching Lupin III material is enough to keep me interested. But ultimately I think we're better off pretending Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro is the original Lupin III film, and leaving Lupin III: The Mystery of Mamo to stew in the past.

Ironic, considering Mamo's goals, but ultimately fitting.