LOOK BACK

I held this off for awhile because I was depressed about missing it in theaters. I had everything planned, but unfortunately life had other plans. That said, it led me to ponder something after finally watching it. I don't usually write reviews, and I don't believe this properly is formatted as one, but I wanted to share my sentiments nonetheless; the following will be spoilers.

At childhood, our dreams aren't typically bound by the constraints of our minds. Considering ourselves to become strong and capable when we get older and also believing we can accomplish anything with the tantamount spirit. However, as we do get older, that once thought to be enduring spirit starts decaying under doubt. Thoughts can plague us, such as, "How can I accomplish this when only a handful of people can?" Or, "How can I achieve this when people better than me can't?" Or. "It's not possible; there's too much luck dependent on it, and I don't have that kind of luck." Or "It's too big of a risk; I can't attempt to do it; it's just not safe for my future.". If we lived in an ideal world, advice such as "Believe in yourself and keep working towards it; eventually you will meet that ambition." would be sound, but as we are aware, we do not live in that kind of world.

Fujino starts off invincible, being showered by the honeyed praise of her peers and family. She starts to believe she possesses innate talent at drawing and athleticism, claiming she could find a prospect in either endeavor. This quickly diminishes when she witnesses Kyomoto's work for the first time; she sees what is in her eyes a level beyond her reach by someone else of her age. That said, she doesn't want to admit defeat; that would solidify her as being ordinary and deny her perception that she is special. Therefore, in order to prove herself, she begins competing with Kyomoto without Kyomoto even knowing; this one-sided rivalry makes her strive to get better as an artist in order to show everyone she isn't just "average." This effort on her part is not met with any positive reinforcement; in fact, it is met with opposition; no one actually believes her drawing is doing good for her and says it would lead her to being a recluse in middle school. This piled with how she believes her art still can't compare to Kyomoto's; pitfalls into her giving up drawing manga, giving up on making that effort, giving up on that competition to prove herself special, to accept the ordinary of the people around her and be with them and like them. To grow out of her dreams, essentially. It's a lot like how many people tend to grow up: at childhood, being told you can be anything you want to be, praised for the littlest things, then come adulthood, everyone around you is telling you to accept reality and find a way to live realistically to what you actually can do.

Still, there was a light at the end of the tunnel for her, visiting Kyomoto to deliver the diploma leads to their first confrontation and that interaction between them is where Kyomoto tells her she is a fan of Fujino and her work. That same Kyomoto that Fujino challenged herself against to persevere against, that very same Kyomoto respected her and her efforts more than anyone else in her life. This small ember of admiration ignited the fire of her dream once more. Leading to the sequence that follows of her walking back home with glee through the rain to draw again. It isn't just beautiful visually but also beautiful for the emotions it encompasses from Fujino. The happiness that came forth after all the turmoil in her path knowing one person believed in her served as the spark to not give up on her dream. The parts of the film thereafter can all be written about in length, but this part is the crux of my review here.

Positive reinforcement; it sounds obvious that we are likely to retain or cover faith in our aspirations if there are people around us who reinforce the fact that we can in fact achieve those things or do measure up to the standard we desire. It's why, in childhood, the adoration and praise from everyone, which magnified with the young naivete, makes us actually believe we'll be capable of anything we set our minds to. When we lose that positive reinforcement, we lose a large portion of our optimism. There can be other factors to that loss too, but I believe one of the most important ideas Look Back seeks to emphasize is that any amount of support we can offer to another or any amount of support we can receive subject to our dreams and aspirations can help us gain some level of confidence to work towards them. There will never be a guarantee; there can be obstacles that don't just seem but are insurmountable, but perseverance—any trace amount of it—will come proxy from the support of others, and even if we lose those others, their memory and faith in us won't dissipate and keep giving us strength. All to serve as something we can look back on, all the while moving forward.

That's the end of that. I'm extremely sorry for how corny some or all of this might come off, but I felt like it matters little, and I'd like to leave something like this behind even if supremely corny. I am heading into the military in two weeks; it has left me very nervous and fearful on whether or not I can make it. Four and a half years of my life will be dedicated to that, something that dreads me since it was not a choice I wanted to make but came as a last resort to preserve any prospect of a hopeful future. I have aspirations that I want to accomplish; I don't necessarily have anyone who knows them, so no support to them either, but I would like to be that person for myself, as lonely as it may sound. By using this opportunity, I want to create one that paves the way forward for what I actually want to be, which of course I won't mention because this has been corny enough and I'd rather not embarrass myself any further with 3 AM emotional volatility. Thank you for reading, have a great morning, evening and night.