Content Warning: Animal Death, Blood, Body Horror, Child Abuse, Child Death, Eyestrain, Gore, Misogyny, Psychological Torture, Rape, Sexual Assault, Violence

Part 5 - Golden Wind is something I've always struggled to enjoy. Back before the anime adaptation existed, I though it felt weaker than the parts around it. Part 4 and Part 6 have that JoJo's magic about them, so why was Part 5 always so out-of-place feeling? I couldn't answer that back then.

Now, coming back to JoJo's as an adult, and having forced myself to sit through the anime, I can answer that question confidently: It's just not very good. The protagonist is a Mary Sue in nearly every respect. The side characters lack any sort of cohesion. And while some of the fights are truly spectacular, most of them lack any sort of tension at all. It feels like we've gone backwards from Part 4, and even Part 3.

I hate to shit on things using meme formats, but Part 5 - Golden Wind is the epitome of "Do you have good writing?" "We have hype moments and aura."

I can't stand Giorno Giovanna.

As a character, he has so much potential. The secret bastard son of DIO, with connections to both vampires and stands. Isolated in an abusive household. A kid who grew up idolizing the mafia, manipulating others, committing crimes, and had ambitions for the very top at just fifteen years old. We had a chance to get a real anti-hero here. A cheat, someone with the muscle and might of Jonathan, and the powers and cunning of DIO.

And we got an obnoxious, boring, half-baked nobody that's as memorable as your sixth grade history teacher.

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that Giorno Giovanna would single-handedly be enough to shoot this part in the foot. He's the worst kind of protagonist in every respect. His motivations are quite frankly non-existent. His abilities - while I can't spoil them - are so obnoxiously powerful that there's no tension in any fight he's in. He has zero chemistry with any other character, and despite that, everyone else gravitates to him for reasons that are even acknowledged as bullshit.

I'm being harsh on him, I'll admit. But unless you're willing to invent a compelling character for him on your own, he's just got nothing going on. And that's made worse when you consider just how much narrative potential he has.

What a step down from Josuke, Jotaro, and Joseph.

Part 5 - Golden Wind is known for its fights, and yeah. While there's a good few duds, I'll admit that it's got some incredible highs. Kraftwerk, Grateful Dead, White Album; all of these fights show that the kind of combat you got in Part 4 - Diamond is Unbreakable can be improved upon. And Part 6 - Stone Ocean, is gonna push the boundary way further.

However, at the risk of being contrarian, I do think the quality of Part 5's fights is overhyped by the community. There's a lot of duds. Like, a lot. No-one gushes praise for Soft Machine, or talks about how incredible Giorno's fight with Babyface was.

That's not inherently an issue. Part 3 certainly had a lot of stinkers too (Looking at you Alessi). But when you had bad fights in previous parts, you at least had the character dynamics to look forward to. Wheel of Fortune might be a snooze fest, but you'll still get scenes of all the characters you like chatting, fucking around, and acting like friends. Part 5 doesn't have that safety net to fall on. When a fight misses, it misses hard.

Overall, my main recurring thought during Part 5 - Golden Wind was "What's the point?" What's the point of making Giorno DIO's son? What's the point of making drugs a central plot thread? What's the point of this fight, or this plot beat, or this conflict? etc. etc. etc. And this extends to even the big moments. Character deaths. Plot resolutions. Goal changes. It all feels so pointless.

I'm someone who's rarely apathetic about the anime they watch. I can pick up something like Kakegurui - an anime with a batshit premise and bizarre, senseless plot beats - and get invested. Hell, I love Showa-era Kamen Rider. You don't need beautiful animation, coherent narratives, and grand stories to keep me engaged. You just need a fun cast of characters, an interesting hook, and ideally some weird thematic bullshit for me to obsess over.

And that's where Part 5 - Golden Wind loses me.

The cast has zero chemistry. All the set-up is done via flashbacks, and outside of a scene or two, there's never any downtime where they feel like friends. There's no real stakes at play; Giorno's dream has zero weight to it, and the plot beats that set up the main villain don't have much going for them either. And compared to the parts surrounding it, Part 5 is pretty tame. You don't have the puzzle-solving fights of Part 4, or the convoluted bizarre fights of Part 6. It's all fairly standard, and I think that's why it lost me.

Also the only woman in the main cast gets a single fight. So y'know, not winning any diversity points from me.

I tried to watch Part 5 - Golden Wind when it premiered. I was a huge JJBA fan, and actively contributed on fan forums and discussions about the show.

I gave up after three episodes, and didn't come back to the franchise until a few months ago. And to be honest, if Part 6 - Stone Ocean never got adapted, I never would have come back and finished this.

Part 5 is hype moments and aura. I struggle to summarize it in any other way. There's elements here to like, and if you really like fan stories or fan art of this part, I wouldn't blame you. Hell, some of the best JoJo's fan art I've seen is Part 5 AUs.

But as is, Part 5 - Golden Wind is made for the lowest common denominator of shounen anime fans. Fun, even exciting, if all you care about is cool fights. But the second you're old enough to want something meaty to sink your teeth into, you'll realize that Part 5 has all the nutrition of an origami crane.