(Minor spoilers here and there, but FULL spoilers in the 'Ending' section)

I think it’s pretty obvious to me by now that I really have a soft spot for ‘unique’ historical manhwas, one that deviates from the expected royal setting, which could be a bad thing in the long run because now my expectations are getting higher and higher… I’m not usually into horror BL, as much as I enjoy horror as a genre. My main gripe is the characterisation of those within such stories, I have a pretty high and I’d say reasonable standard and a line that I wouldn’t want the characters to cross. But surprisingly, Lewellyn’s character, someone I thought I would find disturbing, wasn’t at all… In fact, the entire story had me lost for words and took a turn I did not expect at all…

The ending on the other hand, was the most surprising... at first!

(That is to say, if there's anything to takeaway from this long review, its the 'Ending' section at the end of this review)

~ Characters

FIRST, Shavonne's character. In all honesty I didn't have much to say about him especially in the beginning, it just felt like we were reading from his POV which granted, was a treat in of itself since all of the mysterious surrounding his life and Lewellyn, as well as his misfortunes and misery felt really personal. It was only during the flashback chapters that switched to Lewellyn's perspective. By the end of the story, I was so tired for Shavonne I wanted to give him a hug. He's so unlucky to have been born into such a life, and the fact that the events of the prison were simply a coincidence and the aftermaths were consequences he had to suffer for a decade, it just felt unfair, and I could understand his conflict between regretting having met Lewellyn, while yearning and loving him Simultaneously.

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The first 20-30 or so chapters had be fooled if I’m being honest, it was a direction I liked and was interested in. Lewellyn’s character was what I had originally expected, a serial killer! Now I don’t condone murder, obviously, and I had originally thought the story would be about Shavonne navigating his relationship with a murderer and slowly losing himself because of his conscience or morals. But then the more I read the more I started to feel like Lewellyn wasn’t exactly evil. Like yes he’s cynical, blunt and uncompromising, and he 100% does not care about what others think and what might happen to him as long as Shavonne pays attention to him. So yeah, he’s messed up but he’s not evil…

He never harmed Lewellyn, instead ‘protecting’ him (albeit, in a dubious way), and when Shavonne first rejected him, he didn’t do anything… I know that would’ve been a standard for normal people BUT I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE WAS INSANE… and I really thought he would be the very least controlling but he's just possessive and protective… Even before the backstory came, when the two finally became lovers and Shavonne had that new job with Turner, the whole monologue Lewellyn gave about not hurting Shavonne’s past lovers just because they’ve been together, but he 100% WILL hurt him for attempted rape revealed his character and his values as a lover. AND THE FACT THAT HE ASKED FOR CONSENT WHEN THEY WERE GETTING INTIMATE (Not just sex but touching was something he wanted consent to) LIKE BIT*CH IF F*CKING LEWELLYN CAN DO IT WHY CAN’T A NORMAL KOREAN MEN DO IT IN THE 21ST CENTURY???

You don’t understand I’ve skipped on SO many manhwas that were said to have had a good story just because the love interest had attempted SA or rape, so I was so happy about how Lewellyn's character turned out and I applaud the author for not going towards that direction. He’s mentally messed up in the head that cannot be refuted but I’ll be damned if I don’t give him credit for being a possessive, but loving and caring partner to Shavonne, like I COULD NOT BELIEVE how obedient he was when Shavonne was working with Turner that I was genuinely starting to feel bad for him being left at home all alone like a sad puppy…

~ Story

Which brings me to the backstory… If I’m being honest I lowkey don’t want to recall what I just read just in all honesty that was LOWKEY kind of traumatising haha… an emotional rollercoaster that’s for sure. Not only was it LONG in chapter count but it was just so agonising to read. But at the same time, it made their relationship and all of Lewellyn’s past actions clearer. It was such a dark turn and something I didn’t expect, I really didn’t think they would go so far back and for the author to choose such a unique and interesting direction. In such a small world, the only 'home' they had, so much happened...

(Side note: HE LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE LUKA FROM ALIEN STAGE- What’s with blondes being used and caged and yearns so much for their salvation…)

~ Ending (My own interpretation of the ending!)

Back then, they read a book about the solider and a ballerina, and how they were turned to ash with a tin heart left in place. When I first read that (around chapter 40-50) I didn’t think much of it, but after realising the parallels of the story and the two characters, of Shavonne being the soldier, and Lewellyn being the ballerina, I felt as though I understood the ending better. When I was reading that last chapter, I was a little upset at how quickly it ended and was resolved. I would’ve given it another 5 chapters at the very least, not even to close up loose ends, but just for them to leave that damn island. But it was a happy ending... right?

In the last two chapters, the book “Through the looking glass” was shown next to “Shavonne’s look”. Since fairytales were so significant to the story, it would be odd if these title choices were only preferences. “Through the looking glass” is about a reality different from Alice’s own, and though I don’t know much about the story and its morals, I have a feeling that perhaps, JUST MAYBE, it hints to the readers that this is a false reality, a near perfect end that reflects Shavonne’s dreams… Is that why it was sat next to a book titled “Shavonne’s look”? The looking glass being a reflection and look into his desired reality. And why is it that “Through the looking glass” was given to Lewellyn in the last chapter, as the book Shavonne wanted him to read? I'll be honest I have a hard time understanding that last part, but I genuinely don't think it was a mistake on the author's end to have had that book be given to Lewellyn instead of Shavonne's own book.

Now going back to soldier boy and ballerina… haha… basically what I’m trying to say is, wouldn’t it be more reasonable/ logical to say that that they didn’t manage to leave the island in the end? I saw a comment upon finishing the last chapter discussing how with their physical states as they left, was it even possible to make it off the island in time? And I thought about it… they’re right. I really wanted them to have a happy ending, but the cynical part of me also believes that the ending that was given, the perfect and beautiful life they were granted was just a dream before their deaths. Is that why it was so short and abrupt? It was but a last wish before he closed his eyes forever…

“We’ll be together for the rest of our lives”

“In this cold, cruel world”

“Maybe ‘better’ is just another word for ‘happy’”.

Part of me interpreted this as Shavonne recognising how life will never be smooth sailing, that turbulences will happen especially with the war breaking out and themselves a little unstable… But another part of me, which in all honesty, is winning me over, thinks that there is double meaning to his words, and that it also refers to their possible deaths. Despite living the dream life they had wanted, one that Shavonne quoted again in the last chapter, he still wouldn’t call it a “happy” life. Do I believe that? Not really.

I don’t doubt him when he said they still had issues, but with the way they had shown their lives in the aftermath (in the last chapter), I would whole heartedly believe that they were perfectly happy. His words felt strangely poignant, and it made me think that perhaps ‘the path they have chosen to walk’ is death together. Perhaps ‘death’ is ‘better’ than a ‘cold, cruel world’, which I believe is where they had passed.

Shavonne was 100% in a worse state, but with both of them dazed from the gas and trekking through the cold winter on that island, which was previously stated to be extremely unbearable and unforgiving during winter, I don’t doubt that Lewellyn died shortly after Shavonne. Think about it, doesn’t it parallel with the story of the toy soldier who was an outcast like Shavonne, and the ballerina with nothing left but a golden tiara well? The ballerina followed suit, as she too was burned to ashes shortly after the soldier. I wonder why the author chose to add that narration in while Lewellyn carried Shavonne’s body across the snow… I wonder, if not to hint at their demise.

Haha sorry to burst your bubble! Though I don’t think this interpretation is an original thought. I believe most readers chose to believe in the possible ‘fantasy’ rather than accepting their deaths, despite knowing there’s a possibility it was just a dream… Much like Shavonne and Lewellyn had wanted themselves… 



In conclusion, it was such a ride… I wouldn't say its was my favourite, but it certainly took me by surprise and its one of those works that won't be forgettable at all, especially with me pondering about the ending...