⊹₊⟡⋆ OPENING THOUGHTS ⊹₊⟡⋆

i’ll preface this by saying, it was my mistake watching romance + shoujo anime where the female leads are communicative and confident in themselves. because this is not that story. it’s been a while since i picked up the manga, but i remembered liking it, which is why i was surprised by my feelings towards it in the anime. no, they didn’t cut or change around scenes (not to my knowledge), and they didn’t add anything to ruin the overall plot. however, as mentioned, i was watching other stories where all female leads were very confident in themselves, even if they weren’t fully sure of their character, the girls would always communicate with their crush. i personally find that communication is the most important aspect in any relationship, which is why i get pretty annoyed by stories filled with miscommunications/misunderstandings. this story is certainly one of those cases.

the basic plot is iwata and kamishiro being childhood friends, but drifting apart as the years pass. iwata has always had feelings for kamishiro, but with someone whose confidence is as minimal as a rock, she believes he doesn’t feel the same. that’s the crust of it, so to speak. as mentioned before, there is almost no communication between these two characters. i would love points where i felt like she would take two steps forward (only for her to take ten steps back the next episode). if both people are stagnant in their efforts to move forward, then it’s like watching something being moved on a conveyor belt. they don’t move, but the plot forces them to move along. i could apply color theory to this and say it’s my rarity to enjoy characters with blonde hair. this is nothing against blonde/yellow-haired characters, but depending on their personality, they don’t move me the same way (since stories like to have hair color be the extension of a character’s persona).

however, when you have two characters who barely hold a proper conversation, it becomes frustrating as a viewer. even as a romance enthusiast i was being irked by how many misunderstandings there were. and the majority of it being on iwata’s end. naturally, this is because the story is being told through her perspective, so we don’t see anything beyond “i wonder what he’s thinking” type of monologues from her. while i understand the decisions of the characters, that doesn’t dismay it from its outcome to how they make me feel. however, it should be noted that this anime does follow the typical shoujo romance storylines, so there are no surprises there. but with such a saturated genre of the high school setting, something needs to separate stories from each other. i can’t say that this is super similar to other stories, but what stands out are the appearances of the characters rather than their personalities. i’ll go more in-depth as we examine each of the characters.

✮ SAE IWATA ✮

the tall, strong, and not like other girls, sae iwata. that last description isn’t to bash on sae, but it’s a constant thought she carries throughout the season. everything is told through her perspective, and i could definitely feel her insecurity through the screen. sae admires kamishiro, to the point where i couldn’t pinpoint if she had a protective instinct towards him or was amazed by his earnestness. however, what irked me about sae was her personality. throughout the story, we learn she’s tall, smart, and strong, all traits she’s not proud of. that’s fine. but beyond those qualities, all she does is chase after kamishiro. honestly, i’m not usually one to criticize characters who are shown to have a one-track goal. but those characters make up for it by building other relationships that help their character grow, or they COMMUNICATE their thoughts, thus building on the overall relationship. sure, she’s friends with sui and kagawa, but i find them more compelling in some cases because they give great advice to sae (which she doesn’t take half the time).

sae is so focused on not being the ‘petite’ one or the ‘cutesy’ girl that she makes the audience feel her insecurity. when sui entered the picture, she was so quick to become jealous, being like “oh, of course a girl like her would get guys”. while i understand on one hand not being confident in one's looks, it gets to a certain point when this feeling is passed to any girl she deems as “better” than herself. this is also the same reason why kamishiro’s very OBVIOUS hints fly over her head. because whenever he tries so hard to say it’s her he’s thinking about, she doesn’t equate the adjectives he uses to her—because SHE HAS NO CONFIDENCE IN HERSELF. towards the end, the goal becomes trying to confess her feelings to kamishiro, but i hated the execution. til the end, she keeps missing her chance or says “it’s not the right time”, this gets prolonged to a moment they’re finally alone, and wow—she doesn’t confess her feelings till kamishiro says he’s going to. meaning, a misunderstanding is what caused her to blurt out her feelings, not out of her own heart.

now, i know she was going to confess regardless on the same day, but i can’t even imagine how that would go down (because i would think she would bail out again). i won’t say that this is toxic (there’s worse out there). i understand her fear stems from the fact that if she gets rejected, it could sour their decades-long friendship, and that’s her biggest fear beyond getting turned down. but—there have to be bigger issues, i swear. especially, if that feeling is carried on to other girls who are living their lives and she’s over here like “i’m too tall”, “i eat too much”, or “i’m not cute like her”. constantly hearing these thoughts, it made me wonder, “does she love kamishiro more than she loves herself?” which i don’t think is healthy. i think even kamishiro points out how quick she is to praise others, but looks down on herself. regarding her relationship with kamishiro, most of the time it feels like he’s the one doing all the talking. which wouldn’t be a bad thing, except that Sae keeps the majority of her thoughts to herself and doesn’t progress the relationship on an equal footing with him. i can’t say this will get better in the manga after they get together, if i remember, she gets even more self conscious about maintaining the relationship than easing into a new chapter of romance. as a viewer, i can definitely see why sae likes kamishiro, but with her jumping to conclusions, i can’t sit well to enjoy the small moments.

☀︎ KOUKI KAMISHIRO ☀︎

the star that supposedly shines so bright. kouki goes from a small school boy to a boy who’s the same height as sae. i will say this about kamishiro, he went to the academy of yearning. even through iwata’s skewed perspective, i could tell this boy was a yearner. literally, it’s not his fault that all his massive hints fly right over iwata’s head. although, this doesn’t dismay him from being an overthinker as well. kamishiro is just as scared as sae about losing their friendship if he were to make the first move. but, he was entertaining for me to see because i could see him put in the effort to express his feelings. like in episode two, he says the girl he likes is someone who he considers as the star in his life, all while looking directly at her. naturally, as i mentioned before, it doesn’t click to sae that the person he’s referring to is her because she doesn’t see herself in the way he describes her. also, all the other times where he doesn’t allow anyone to belittle her due to her strength or height. he basically sees her from the perspective she’s always wished to be seen. it’s without a doubt that kouki loves sae the way she is; the problem is that she doesn’t see herself in the same light.

i don’t know how much a girl needs to be thrown obvious hints. such as the time in middle school, he wasn’t even the smartest, and he tried so hard to get into the top high school just because she was going. there’s literally another sign of hesitation before he answered her question about where he was going to high school. if we’re talking about moments in high school, he would always defend her from people like izawa (whenever he made fun of her) or if it seemed like sae was carrying to much responsibility. again, she probably couldn’t see that he was doing this all for her because she didn’t think she was “dating” material. but, oh my goodness, is it so obvious. saying all this doesn’t excuse some of kouki’s way of handling certain situations. with sae already holding back so much of her own feelings, his adding more weight is causing more unrest. like the sudden change from calling her sae to iwata. i thought he did this because sae might’ve asked him to, turns out, he changed the way he called her because he leaned into the rumors where his classmates said that calling people by their first name is childish.

kamishiro does so much that he can seem like an “adult” in sae’s eyes that he forgets the most important thing about having a relationship is talking with them. then again, she isn’t any better by not asking him directly, but he also couldn’t have been more obvious with his actions. it was nice to see in towards the end, all the moments through his perspective. all the yearning in the attempts to be with sae. forcing himself to drink milk to grow tall, the work to become better at football (soccer) or studying really hard to even be at iwata’s level. that’s why i feel like kamishiro’s arc feels more full circle than iwata’s. even though the majority of the series is seen through her perspective, we end up learning more about kamishiro and his subtle actions than we do about her. kouki realizes in the end, he can’t wait in fear and needs to be straightforward about his feelings for sae. that’s what gives him the courage to ask her during the fireworks scene. while he’s always been the center of iwata’s affections, his moment to shine comes forward from his actions. i have to admire the fact he’s always seen iwata as his life, never wavering. since he was a kid, this boy had his goals on lock and never looked back. now, before people tell me sae’s progress is similar, i can’t fully agree because of how they went about it. when kamishiro has a misunderstanding, i felt like he tried to do something about it or gave VERY obvious hints. like he was actively trying and i could see his efforts. sae, on the other hand, created misunderstandings without even trying to do anything. it’s like “oh xyz happened, so it must be true” instead of breaking the boundaries. i felt bad every time he tried to open up a conversation because sae was barely giving anything due to her nervousness or overthinking.

✍︎ YOUTA AYUKAWA ✍︎

the quiet intellect. oh boy, i’m not one for second male leads, but ayukawa had me in my thoughts. first, i will say i have a bit more bias toward ayukawa. the reason being, his personality usually leans towards the type i look for when i consume romance-based stories. also, like i said, kamishiro already had a weak start with my color theory lens. however, i believe ayukawa’s strength for me was his style of communication as well as his connection with sae. starting with the connection with sae, the two of them shared the most conversations about each other. iwata even mentions she learned more about his lifestyle and comes to find they have a couple of similarities. now, i wouldn’t say the two of them are entirely compatible, after all, i don’t think the interests of iwata fully align with ayukawa. except when looking into the line, that’s where the conversations differ. i was able to see sae hold a natural conversation without stumbling when she was with ayukawa. though, it can be said that she didn’t have a reason to be nervous when she didn’t have feelings for him. at first, I was going to say that he knew Iwata had a crush on kamishiro, but from how many times he asked Kamishiro about Iwata. i somehow think that trait of his made me like him even more.

wait…i just realized this boy could be a kuudere ( ˶°ㅁ°). well (ᵕ,—ᴗ—,) if that’s the case, that would explain why i prefer his character more. that’s beside the point- circling back, i thought it was sweet/cute how he would approach kamishiro to ask about iwata. he even asked if they were just friends. that’s where kamishiro ruined his chance; he was the one who said they were just friends. now, do i think that ayukawa would’ve backed off if he knew of kamishiro’s true feelings? no. i don’t think so, but i feel like he’s the type to be prepared with the knowledge he has in mind. additonally, i know this isn’t a competition of acts of service, but i found ayukawa’s actions to be the right balance of cute and straightforward. for example, when he overheard that sae went to pick up all the cardboard by herself, he didn’t hesitate to run the distance to help her. which is crazy, because we know from the previous gym class he’s not one to have the strongest endurance. but he went all that way just to help her, not even thinking for a second, most people see her for her strength (╥﹏╥). then the slight smile he gives whenever he meets iwata is so cute (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝). speaking of strength, he doesn’t hesitate to take over a situation whenever he sees she’s uncomfortable. such as the tire moving competition. just for moving such a heavy tire iwata got all eyes on her, which made her quite flustered.

he didn’t hesitate to take the pressure off her and make it on to him. oh! about his communication style, there was the standout moment where both he and iwata were seen by their classmates as dating. now, he could’ve denied it, or he’s slow on social cues, but ayukawa just said “i don’t mind”. HE COULDN’T BE MORE OBVIOUS IF HE TRIED ദ്ദി╥ ᴗ ╥). i’m truly never one to be rooting for the second male lead because the authors usually do a good job at convincing me why they aren’t the chosen one. in this situation, i don’t disagree that the author chose wrong. a romance between ayukawa and iwata isn’t out of question; it would actually be a standard romance built over time with mutual affection if there was a bit more effort put in. the reason i say it wouldn’t work in this case is because of their individual characters. i already explained the dynamic between why sae and kamishiro work, so let me dig a bit for ayukawa. i think if he ended up with sae, he would act a bit out of character. try to take the initiative or do everything to make her happy. now, if she felt the same, then this would be a great relationship. since she doesn’t, it feels like wasted effort. which is why i think he should be with a yapper girl (like hisui) to match his silent personality. though the manga hasn’t gone far to seal the relationship for good, i do hope that ayukawa does move on from iwata and give hisui the chance she deserves. (and to add another special moment, i really found the confrontation between him and kamishiro to be full of tension. WHICH I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶).

❤︎‬ ONODERA HISUI ‪‪❤︎

the token cute best friend. i don’t mean that in a bad way in the slightest because i love her character. hisui isn’t the type that i usually watch romances for. i don’t typically mind overly cute characters, but they have a certain structure about them. however, like most of my critiques in this story, i was drawn in by her enthusiasm. similar to most people, i was concerned in the beginning that she would become the love rival for sae because she asked if kamishiro liked her or had feelings for someone. honestly, this was a great push for sae because i can’t imagine her actually taking initiative for her feelings if someone like hisui didn’t challenge her worldview. thankfully, it’s quickly put together that hisui is an avid fan of romance and just a yapper (≧ᗜ≦). as much as her heart can deliver for her love of romance, she equally cherishes her friendships. having her as the opposite of sae does a great service because it shows the different approaches to solving a problem. hisui is the type to ask people head-on, while also yapping away about any grievances she might hold. that’s what sae is drawn to as their friendship grows. the way her friends so easily speak their mind when it comes to topics like romance, or when speaking to others when they’re uncomfortable. circling back to the interest of romance, i see so much of my enthusiasm in hisui. i don’t speak as much on the topic out in public as she does, but i definitely turn into her when i’m alone analyzing romances (like right now >ᴗ<).

there’s also the dichotomy that the story portrays for a while with her character. i’ve mentioned before that sae is insecure about her appearance and personal traits. when she looks at hisui, there are a lot of moments where she wishes she could be like hisui. bubbly, cute, outgoing, and a people person. however, the story makes sure to showcase the drawbacks of carrying such a personality. for one, there are many scenes where she’s whisked away by her classmates because they think so highly of her, and she feels pressured into giving in to their wishes. the other time was when izawa confessed his feelings for her and turned into a man-child when she rejected him. knowing hisui’s personality, i could only imagine she thought it was her fault (when she’s not obligated in any way to return his affections) when izawa became overtly dramatic and didn’t return to school after the event. so, sae might say that she wishes she were more girly like hisui, but the reality settles in that other girls face their own set of problems outside of hers. her friendship with kagawa is another aspect i enjoyed watching. the two of them are the opposite sides of the same coin, but they couldn’t complement each other more. hisui has her head up in the clouds most of the time, while kagawa is more grounded in reality. the same is their approach to situations. hisui gets really pumped and encourages facing situations head-on, compared to kagawa who always reels hisui in to think two steps ahead before jumping into the mix.

speaking of relationships, we’re going a bit into manga spoiler territory here. yes, hisui does end up having feelings for ayukawa. she makes her stance quite known (unsurprisingly). it’s been a while since i read the certain chapters, but i think she has no ill will towards ayukawa for still harboring feelings for sae. she isn’t jealous either, at least not in the traditional sense. i think she understands his situation (since he really did care about her, it’s not like his feelings would suddenly vanish overnight). moreover, sae is one of her closest friends, and she knows she’s over the stars about kamishiro so there’s no reason for her to be jealous in that regard. but, the two of them go out, only for ayukawa to admit at the end of the chapter (the last one i read off on) that he still isn’t fully over sae. this does hurt hisui, as it would, but she does understand his feelings. that’s the reason i brought the pair of them together. i would also like to thank my romance radar (as usual) for going off when i saw these two. i had a feeling they’d be paired off together. i truly do hope the two of them get together, and for ayukawa to figure out his feelings soon.

☼ SIDE CHARACTERS ☼

truly made this section to talk about kamishiro’s cousin, subaru. surprisingly (or unsurprisingly), subaru is designed to be a “love” rival for Iwata. remember the point about sae being insecure? well it gets circled back to subaru. no matter how much kamishiro described sae the way he views her, it goes over her head because she doesn’t see herself in the way he sees her. that’s why when subaru comes onto the scene, iwata thinks that kamishiro is talking about her. even THOUGH subaru is his cousin ∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ). this wasn’t as weird for me to think about (i’ve seen all sorts of things at this point). what got me when i saw this play out was _“wow—iwata is REALLY insecure (ᵕ—ᴗ—)”_. however, what i love about subaru is her straightforwardness. girl does NOT mess around, and she even calls out others for it (which i LOVE). i think she might be me in a romance story whenever the characters have trouble like this (≧ᗜ≦). people might wonder why she’s so harsh or blunt when speaking to kamishiro or sometimes iwata. and no, it’s not because she has feelings for him too. it’s because she’s sick of their behavior. however, she knows the line between pushing them without meddling too much. the reason why subaru never found kamishiro “cool” (outside the fact he’s her cousin) is because she’s seen how submissive he is with his actions. she’s seen him second-guessing or keeping to himself, which she deems uncool because her mindset is “regret after, not before”. this is backed up when she apologizes to sae about her previous statement about kouki not being cool after he went into action with no hesitation.

as for what she said to iwata about her being weaker than she was led to believe, it was due to her being caught holding back. subaru could see that from a mile away and called iwata out on it. the plot has to thank her for moving the story along, because i don’t think it would’ve occurred with these two alone (maybe, but it would take another million episodes). i’d say that’s why she looks at the end of the festival, subaru is finally able to breathe after all the necessary pushing. her personality can be seen in how she approaches situations. even after passing out, subaru insists on getting back into work, despite the protests of those around. it could be that she doesn’t want to let people down, but i do think it’s an entirely different aspect to wanting to push herself. so, that when she looks back on her previous events or tasks, she can say with her heart she has no regrets since she pushed herself to the absolute limit. i guess most people would say subaru is an example of tough love. she’s blunt by nature, not as to mean any harm in her words. she cares about the two of them, which is what frustrates her when interacting with the pair of them. speaking of someone who speaks their mind, i carry a similar sentiment for mio kagawa. she holds great care for her friends and always works hard to live up to the pressure people give her. sometimes it’s quite overwhelming for her to hold it all together, but she knows how to hold her ground when the time calls for her to defend herself or her friends. i find her just as interesting as hisui and believe the two of them have the cutest interactions. i hope to see more of her next season with the group. the same for subaru (coming in to save the day as usual).

✹ CLOSING THOUGHTS ✹

the story of a star brighter than the sun can be seen in most shoujo romances. however, because of such similarities, it lacks the nuance recent stories have shown to present themselves as. this isn’t to say, to change what works, but in a wide variety that other stories have to offer, this one feels as though it’s a blast from the past. if the people reading don’t mind a traditional layout of a shoujo romance, then this story surely won’t disappoint, and i would highly recommend it for those interested. the main aspect i find to be bothersome is how much potential i could see from certain scenes. wasted opportunity might as well be up there with one of the things i hate when i read a story. i’ll take iwata’s execution of confession. the whole rising action of the plot is for iwata to confess her feelings to kamishiro. there are episodes where she builds courage or is given a slight push by her friends. she doesn’t end up following the plan, but the setup for the resolution is present. which is why i wish she confessed to kamishiro on her own terms. granted, she planned to tell kamishiro her feelings for him during the fireworks, and he went ahead and revealed his own plan (which faltered her resolve), but i wonder if she would’ve gone through confessing to him properly during the fireworks if it wasn’t for kamishiro’s disruption. now, this could be a half chance; however, the way i view it, i could picture iwata not saying or messing up her words in her initial plan. then this would be played out even longer.

perhaps it’s because i see the story through sae’s perspective, i can see kamishiro at least try to make an effort since the beginning, compared to iwata’s that was gradual. i didn’t need to see the years of yearning from kamishiro since they were kids, because i could feel it in the present time. of course, it’s always a nice touch to see a second perspective. i don’t wish to downgrade iwata’s efforts, however, that’s the only conclusion i can come to. what i worry about her character is what she’ll have to endure when dating kamishiro in the latter half. we’re going into a bit of spoiler territory for next season, but as usual with shoujo romances, there will be another love rival. i really don’t know what it is with romance stories these days and adding a “love rival” type character in a story. especially, well, after the main couple gets together, and it was already annoying to deal with, then they arrive pre-dating. but, yes, there are love rivals for iwata to face while she’s dating kamishiro. the arc is always brushed off to be that kamishiro will only love iwata (not a surprise), but this doesn’t wash away any of iwata’s insecurities. she might act like she’s alright on the surface, but not internally. the reason i bring up these love rivals (if we can call them that) is that i feel like we don’t know much about iwata besides her appreciation for kamishiro. if anything, the audience learns more about kamishiro than they do iwata. now, like i said, this isn’t my first story where the female lead’s personality is reduced to being centered around the male lead, but what the other characters had in those stories is that they were sure in themselves. even if they weren’t, they always attempted or straight-up communicated those thoughts. what saddens me about iwata is i feel like even at this point, she’s not secure in her own character without someone having to tell her she’s fine the way she is (whether it be kamishiro or her friends). i hope she learns to accept herself on her own terms.