i don't normally write reviews but i have to on this one. i could write a 10 page paper on how stupid this show is and i loved every. second. of. it. assuming this was not intended to be a comedy (and i don't think it was), it's a train wreck. a disaster for the ages. and one of the best dumpster fires i've ever seen.

i can only speak for the english dub version (free on youtube) because, in my opinion, that's the only way an english speaker should experience this (that's coming from someone who only ever watches anime with subs). the awkwardness of the writing/translation combined with horrible voice acting was an experience i won't soon forget. i filmed so many scenes and sent them to friends because i couldn't stomach the idea of experiencing any of this alone.

before i continue-- big content warnings for this show: rape, sexual assault, infidelity, gore, very non-PC depictions of different ethnicities. also, it's basically softcore porn. viewer discretion is mandatory.

you'll probably love this if you love tommy wiseau's the room. both are so unbelievably awkward and strange (but also with a high degree of realism? lol) that, at first, you have no clue if it's a drama or a comedy. did they intend to make a show this funny? because if so, they need to make more. if this was purely an accident, well, they also need to make more. you'll love it if you love good old school animation, which i think they actually did well here by any standards (i am a sucker for 80s/90s cel animation). this is also good if you like realism (in terms of animation, women's voices, no fairies, elves, robots, space travel, etc). the plot isn't realistic but those parts are.

you will probably NOT love this if you want CGI/crisp graphics, if you like slapstick or chibi humor, need cohesive/sensical plot points, or if you have anyone around who does not consent to seeing this many naked (often moaning) anime women.

speaking of naked: you will be seeing a LOT of characters naked. in fact, they will often be clothed in one scene and naked the next with neither context nor explanation, even outside the sex scenes. nakedness doesn't need to serve a plot point in this show. it's just a fact of life in crying freeman's world--take it or leave it.

you know this show is gonna be fckn weird and disastrous when it starts with a woman who just simply wants to lose her virginity before she gets murdered, even if that means knowingly having sex with her would-be killer. fortunately for her, cryin' freeman is a generous man (and at this point, a virgin as well) and grants her her wish. this pattern tends to hold throughout, with essentially every woman falling in love with him after fighting to the death with him just once. in fact, many women are willing to die just to get to have sex with cryin' freeman one time. i don't know what he's doing to these women but clearly it's something very special based on how desperately they need to make love to him. and making love is honestly how i would describe these gratuitous sex scene. they are pretty realistic in all seriousness.

there are SO many bizarre moments in this show that i eventually started taking notes. for starters, all of the woman look exactly the same but simply have different hair. the one-liners are absolutely nuts, very similar to the room's writing/iconic one-liners ("the test results came back! i DEFINITELY have breast cancer :-)," from the room for instance); they are often said with very formal, academic language. people will go from trying to kill each other to extremely close/on great terms within 10 seconds. he's a world famous ceramicist. most people's nipples get involved at some point, and many of them will be squeezed for reasons which escape me even now. toe katana. at one point cryin' freeman gives an unsolicited lecture about musk and how "when men smell it it makes them go 'sex crazy'" (setting aside how inappropriate this is to say this to a woman you just met, he also gets his facts wrong. he says it comes from blue whales, but it in fact does not; it comes from the musk ox, aka it's literal namesake. also, he is getting it confused with ambergris, which actually comes from sperm whales, not blue whales). it's little things like this that make this such a frenetic, once-in-a-lifetime experience.

look. this show is a disaster from start to finish. i wasn't sure how to rate it because it's a solid 9/10 in terms of my personal enjoyment but easily a 3/10 if we're being objective. i went with my gut and gave it a 9. if you like retro anime, realism (as in no fantasy/supernatural/scifi/mecha), the room, have the kind of humor where you laugh at things that are only unintentionally funny, and won't watch this without the consent of those who can see your screen, then you will love cryin' freeman (the dubbed version for the love of all things holy). god bless you and know that i envy anyone that gets to experience for the first time.