#I would very much hesitate in calling this series a serious series. There’s a part of me however that wishes to recommend that if you don’t already know anything about this series to immediately cease reading this review and give it a try. As this review definitely is going to fully give away the nature of this particular series.#
Priest Cops is filmed on location, with the priests of the Holy Catholic Church. All sinners are innocent until proven of Satan worship or... well, sin.
“Sir. We’ve told you about this. You can’t be out here selling your so called miracle powder to passersby.”
“Why not? It’s completely harmless. I’m not hurting anybody.”
“Sir. It’s against the law.”
“Against the law or God’s law?”
“Sir. Your miracle powder is just plain fucking cocaine.”
“Well yeah! It makes you see miracles, doesn’t it???”
“Sir… cocaine’s primary purpose isn’t that of a hallucinogenic… I’m gonna have to take you in until a time comes where you repent of your various sins.”
“I’d recommend you to put that crucifix of yours away away right now before something bad happens to ya… it’s not exactly like I wanted to murder a priest tonight.”
“Oh holy shit, the perp is a host to a demonic presence! 666 MEANS EVIL!”
“You should have just let me sell cocaine in peace!”
#Vatican Miracle Examiners#
...This series isn’t about priest cops.
They’re Miracle Examiners. They get sent off by the Vatican to various locations where apparent miracles are reported to have been happening to prove whether or not it’s an actual miracle.
But yet, even when they get clear cut proof that it’s not a miracle and therefore their original job is done, they end up sticking around because they end up stumbling upon hidden Satanist plots and like work to try and thwart them but they’re just…
Miracle Examiners.
That wasn’t what they were supposed to do. They're not cops or detectives. They were just supposed to see if a statue that was doing weird things was a miracle or not. But oh no, there's a fucking hidden underground society of slave mole people forced by an illuminati cult of Satanists who force them to run a counterfeiting/cocaine distribution operation. And you better not even think of escaping or investigating it because a man dressed as a clown will murder the fuck out of you with a scythe.
...I've always thought a series that a series that is nonsensical while genuinely trying to be a serious series is better and more enjoyable than one that is just nonstop nonsense from beginning to end. But there's layers with this anime by J.C. Staff, as it's an adaptation of a series of novels by Rin Fujiki.
_The novel series is still going strong apparently??? Over 15 novels published as of the writing of this review, and over a million copies sold. I mean, considering what the series is, I'd say that's pretty fucking good..._
I have no doubts about the anime staff. As pretty much the entire show has demonstrated to me, there's no way they didn't just go "hell yeah let's just fucking do this as over the top as possible."
But maybe, just maybe the original novels were intended to be a bit more serious?
...But then I think about how the first arc this anime showcases ends up being the B-movie plot of an attempt to bring about a new Adolf Hitler into the world. In this case, it's not a clone but the son of Hitler himself because I guess the Nazis just had... his... his seed preserved.
~~Actually, they did also have the whole goddanged Hitler on ice as well.~~
Like thinking about it, 90% of the investigations of the Miracle Examiners would probably just be them going to a place and them coming back just to say "oh yeah it was fake." Because spoilers, at least far as what the anime adapts, they never come across a single actual miracle in their investigations.
Because every single investigation is "not only was it not a virgin birth but the child is actually Hitler's son and there's Nazis hiding among the Catholic Church."
And when they come face to face with Hitler's son who's going on and on about being a messiah, one of the Miracle Examiners uses holy water on him.
As the viewer, "you're like wait what, he actually IS the Antichrist in addition to being Hitler's son???" But then it's revealed that no it wasn't holy water, it was acid.
Granted, it was the literal surrogate son of Adolf Hitler, but this priest just fucking pelted another human being with a vial of sulfuric acid. With no hesitation whatsoever.
...And then I just imagined that scene with him instead actually genuinely throwing holy water on him, it doing nothing, and thus causing the Vatican Miracle Examiners to lose their lives in their investigation of a virgin birth. At the hands of Nazis conspiring to take over the Catholic Church through a shady donation group (???).
I mean wow, how to plan ahead. After all, priests that don’t carry around vials of sulfuric acid are ill prepared to combat the Nazi Antichrist should the time come for his arrival into the world.
...
...I just used the words Nazi Antichrist.
#Conclusion#
...It's really bad.
Personally, I think it just barely makes it onto the side of genuinely "good bad" series. There's a whole ton of scenes I just remember constantly thinking "what?" during and/or after them.
And the Miracle Examiners themselves are also weird and like I remember one of them having like this huge wheel thing and it was like 4D checkers???
My bad, it wasn't checkers. It was Go.
But still. I remember thinking immediately after seeing that that there is no fucking way that is an actual thing that exists or will ever exist. Like are the fucking pieces magnetized to the wheel board???
I mean, Go is already apparently one of the most complex games.
Like with a normal Go board, there is apparently more possibilities of how a game can go than the amount of the number of atoms in the observable universe. But oh no, my IQ is so fucking high that normal Go is just a fucking baby game. No, I can only play Go if it's on this gigantic ridiculous wheel board!
Also, the chemistry between the Miracle Examiners is really weird. I just kept thinking to myself why isn't this one of those series. You know, what are they called... uhh... what was it again? Oh wait, I remember now.
A ya--what?
Well okay yeah I know they're both priests but so what???
Anyways, yeah, I give this series a 2 out of 10. Like if I was to judge this entirely upon the experience of watching through the first arc, the score would certainly be somewhat higher. I remember laughing quite a lot. There are sections of the show that certainly slog quite a bit, but when the show's having one of its bouts of insanity scattered throughout the whole thing, it's really going all out.
And I can appreciate that.
