The Allure of [Death] in Evangelion ٩◔‿◔۶
As an anxious individual, I find that Horror movies in it of themselves are comforting experiences because the anxiety that comes from the movie is a passive and manageable experience compared to worrying day and night over mortality and the impending future.
Another for me is that I find relatability in horrifying cause it often feels like how stressed or depressed I am and seeing people in similar situations in a passive narrative feels euphoric as an observer
Eva is a show where the main characters will go through mental anguish on a repeated base as the stress of their responsibilities affects their relationships and the crushing foreboding apocalyptic imagery on top of everyhing makes you wish for death.
I find it curious how the title of Angels are bequeathed onto the ones who are going to jump-start the end of the world
There’s a correlation between how suicide can feel like an angelic escape and save from a miserable life you may be living in
The belief that Angels deliver us to heaven upon death is a pretty widespread belief.
Even take a look at the song "Everything You've Ever Dreamed" a song which was originally going to be at the End of Eva movie but ultimately it wasn’t used
but just take a look at some of the lyrics like
"Everything You've Ever Dreamed"
You can sail the seven seas and find
Love is a place you'll never see
Passing you like a summer breeze
You feel life has no other reason to be
You can wait a million years and find
That heavens too far away from you
Love's just a thing others do
What is love
Til it comes home to you
The words themself feel like a siren song in some manner with sirens being half-bird and half-woman creatures who appeared in Homer’s Odyssey
The Sirens symbolize temptations and lure sailors with sweet songs that compelled them to dive into the water and drown similarly the song is almost compelling people to give up on life and the futility of finding happiness no matter how many years with heaven constantly being out of grasp.
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How Evangelion Showcases its CHARCACATERS fucking wanna die inside (⊙‿⊙)
The characters in Evangelion almost have a flip effect to them in the beginning you see Misato as a confident and commanding take-charge leader in charge quickly mapping out plans and giving orders left and right with wit and grit.
one of the most hilarious aspects I find about the show is how despite how characters like Misato with their sexy and confident allure make her seem like prime waifu material but you get to know her problems on a more intimate level that the idea of flattening the character into someone I would romanticize and sexualize inside my head felt wrong.
and this contrasts with what seems like the sexual objectification of her character early on which ties into her character.
she straight up mails a provocative photo to Shinji
To Shinji-kun I'll be picking you up, so wait for me, okay? ♥ → Check this out!!
Spoiler, click to view
In this way I kinda consider a lot of the female characters to be anti-waifu characters as the characters themselves are not ideal for projecting your fantasies onto
at least in my own personal reasoning I often feel like waifus are meant to embody an archetype that people find desirable and while a lot of people's ideal waifus are different.
typically the character is less like a real person and more like an idealistic fantasy.
Eva grounds the characters by showing the unsavory parts of themselves the trauma and the problems that they fall into time and time again whether it's Misato's use of sex as a coping mechanism or approach of dealing with others (which she does in the End of Eva Movie as she promises Shinji the reward of sex as a motivation essentially falling back on it) or Ritsuko's own hatred of her late mother whether it was as a scientist or as a woman.
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Adulthood is a lie (◑‿◐)
I thought eventually when I grew up I wouldn't have to deal with my inner shit anymore no more
my inability to trust even the kindest people in my life, talk to others, isolating myself, inability to ask for help, procrastination, and my mixed emotions of love and hate for my mother which cause me its own cocktail of madness or grief (take your pick).
I thought of being an adult as line I would cross wear I would join society and feel like a contributing person and shed my stupid problems and currently either that line exists and its ultra far away and I'm waiting for a unicorn to take me the rest of the way or neither fucking exist
Misato never finds any catharsis with her own mixed emotions of love and hate with her father and you can see it becoming a prominent aspect of her love life as she gravitates towards men like her father.
Gendo is almost the ultimate example of this if you think about it as his entire plan is a way of reuniting with his wife he never overcomes the loneliness he felt in her absence or tries to make a relationship with his son.
and with the ticking future ever-present, it feels like all I want to do is just run away at times and just wait for a meteor to hit the earth
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if you hated this review good! because I hated it and I hate myself a lot more than your capable of hating me because I have to live with me lol
by the way I've decided my scores don't mean jack they're all going to be 100 from now on so whatever